12 Secrets of Self-Management
Life requires management. Spontaneous living ends in disaster. Fulfillment follows intention.
Self-management is managing personal energy.
Action:
History predicts the future. Long-term failure leads to stagnation unless you intervene.
Progress creates energy. Stagnation is exhausting. Lack of progress produces “why try” attitudes. Ignite energy by enabling the first step toward a tiny victory.
Energy for the second step comes from taking the first.
The more you believe you’re moving forward the more energy you have.
Tip: Design projects around incremental wins.
Uncertainty and action:
Try something that seems likely to encourage. Identify a forward-facing goal. Take an imperfect step forward.
All you need is reasonable confidence that you won’t cause harm.
12 unexpected secrets of self-management:
- You are responsible for your energy.
- Positive action motivates.
- Results depend on energy.
- Results produce enthusiasm.
- Positivity is contagious.
- High energy is happiness; low is discouragement.
- Unheard concerns and blame drain motivation.
- Gratitude elevates positive emotion.
- Priorities focus effort.
- Purpose fuels grit.
- Positive relationships multiply energy.
- Celebration boosts morale.
Empathy:
Positive regard produces energy. Eyes go bright when others believe you care.
Stephen Covey writes, “When you show deep empathy toward others, their defensive energy goes down, and positive energy replaces it. That’s when you can get more creative in solving problems.”
Self-management means getting a grip on yourself. Successful people monitor, manage, and fuel energy.
What does managing yourself look like on a typical day?
What self-management tips can you add?
Dig deeper:
Organizational Energy: How to Fuel the 6 Engines of Success
7 Ways to Improve Your Self-Management Skills | Illinois Leadership® Center
I have to respond to a very difficult email from a direct report of my direct report that I have been sitting on for 2 days – the defensive energy in their email makes it easy for me to respond in kind and with facts that would shut them down. I’ve been struggling with how to respond to this person who continually undermines my authority and ignores direct requests made of them. (outside of termination!)
I’m glad I’ve sat on this for 2 days, apparently waiting on this sign from you:
Stephen Covey writes, “When you show deep empathy toward others, their
defensive energy goes down, and positive energy replaces it. That’s when you can get more creative in solving problems.”
Thanks for the sign – I will reconsider my drafts and lean towards a more grounded response in (stern?) empathy. 🙂
Your comment is powerful. Defensiveness is spontaneous. Only speaking to make something better is a challenge.
The book, Just Listen, by Mark Goulston has some wonderful insights on lowering walls between people.
I wish you success.
I would encourage an actual conversation perhaps with a confirming e-mail afterward. These types of crucial conversations, as Covey calls them, require to “start from heart” (what result do you really want) and e-mails, no matter how well written, are fraught with risk of misinterpretation of tone.
Sandy, yes! So many times I have waited to respond until I could see things clearly. It’s so frustrating to understand why people do what is unexpected. I applaud your waiting for the “sign!” Dan always has timely advice!
I’m going to print that list of 12 unexpected secrets of self-management and hang it at my desk. Thank you!