Punch Self-Sabotage in the Face
The 5 Most Destructive Forms of Self-Sabotage
#1. Choose short-term comfort over long-term advantage.
Self-destructive behaviors feed on short-term thinking. Avoid difficulty; skip the gym. Avoid anxiety; reject challenges.
Comfort now becomes regret later. If you felt pain instead of pleasure, you would eliminate self-sabotage.
“Unfortunately, the short-term positive feelings only serve to reinforce the idea that there are benefits from engaging in the problematic behaviors.” O’Neil Smile
Pro Tip: Set a timer for two minutes and do something hard.
#2. Blame others instead of taking ownership.
Blaming gives others power over you. The long-term impact of blaming is weakness, anger, and bitterness.
Ownership is the gateway to growth.
Pro Tip: Do one thing. “What’s one ownership-action you can take in the next hour?”
#3. Neglect your body
Neglect is silent sabotage.
When your body breaks down, energy, clarity, confidence, and discipline go down.
You can’t be your best self while living in a body you ignore.
Pro Tip: What time do you want to get up? Go to bed early enough to get 8 hours of sleep.
#4. Avoid opportunities that feel intimidating.
Avoidance keeps your world small.
Your future waits on the other side of discomfort. George Addair said, “Everything you’ve ever wanted is sitting on the other side of fear.”
All a fearful person can expect is repetition.
Pro Tip: Build a safety net. Tell a competent friend you’re stretching yourself. Ask them if they will give you support if you need it.
#5. Don’t set boundaries.
Without boundaries, you become frustrated, resentful, exhausted, and invisible.
Boundaries protect your:
- Identity
- Confidence
- Calling
- Time
Pro Tip: Create a script for a difficult conversation you know is going to happen. Practice saying the words.
Which form of self-sabotage do you most frequently see?
What helps people overcome self-destructive behaviors?
Self-Sabotage: Stop Tripping Over Yourself
John David Mann and I wrote a book that helps leaders see themselves more clearly. Click the banner below to order your copy.
Dan, any thoughts on how to overcome: Choose short-term comfort over long-term advantage, when it comes to our politics? Elected officials think short term, their election cycle. But the institution suffers from this – no one thinks about the long-term advantage of the institution because of the pressure of elections. Any thoughts?
I agree. The answer is character. Perhaps rigid term limits would help.
“Everything you’ve ever wanted is sitting on the other side of fear.” I love this quote – adding it to my collection. And this is so true. We were not made to solely seek comfort and pleasure. As Viktor Frankl observed, when we live a life for comfort and pleasure, we will end up bored, unhappy and susceptible to addictions.
Perhaps one of the most surprising truths of life is the pursuit of pleasure and ease backfires. I’m at a stage in life where I get to choose ease or work. I choose contribution.
Boundaries protecting against exhaustion speaks to me. Boundaries can keep us out of quagmires of trying to always make things work. I find myself leaning in more and trying to ‘fix’ the problem, rather than stepping back for perspective.
When I start going past a boundary and over-exerting, (even for the ‘right’ reasons) it can feel difficult to own that boundary in the future. Clarity around boundaries can keep us honest, even in situations that call for extra short-term effort.