Imagine a five year old struggling to tie their shoe.
What’s your instinct? You want to help, right?
The best way to help is not to help.
When parents jump in and help little Mary tie her shoes little Mary angrily says, “I’ll do it myself!”
On the other hand, allowing little Mary to struggle and fail produces a desirable frustration. Eventually, she’ll come to a nearby parent for help. At that point, mommy is a genius and little Mary learns respect. If she’s stubborn and doesn’t come for help or her frustration goes too far, parents can say, “Would you like some help?”
Leaders, parents, or managers gain respect from others by not helping too soon.
The real problem: leaders frequently bear the burden of knowledge and feel compelled to solve problems.
Leaders may help others reach higher by not helping.
Definitely makes one think from narrow mindedness to the skies the limit!
The comparisons in life are true, we often intercede before others have had a chance to find a solution. Often in today’s world people allow others to do the thinking for them rather than task their minds and create their own solution (sad to say)!
Hey Tim, thanks for the comment and affirmation…. I agree, we may be creating a society that constantly needs someone to do stuff for them. Enjoy
I agree that in this often rush rush world we do tend to jump in to address matters before others have had a chance to take care of the matter themselves. It often takes a good deal of restraint to allow others a shot at the problem before taking action. Often I find leaving a “trail of bred crumbs” to the solution works well. Subtle suggestions allow them to still receive the ahha feeling that problem sovling rewards us with.
cool idea on the “bread crumbs.” It’s a middle option between do it all or do nothing. You might say, there is great information on this website or this person has done this before or I think xyz company tried the same thing, maybe they have a suggestion. I’m going to use your “bread crumb” suggestion.
Hi Dan, another good reason I think to not jump right in is it allows the other person to learn better, it makes them solve the problem on their own. I think it helps that person to build confidence in themselves and their abilities. People can usually overcome most problems when they have confidence in themselves. Take care!
Thanks for what looks like your first comment. I think you are on target. Leaders who have enough strength to be patient give others the opportunity to grow.