Solution Saturday: One of my Colleagues Rubs me the Wrong Way

Dear Dan,

I work with a person who just rubs me the wrong way. I get along well with most people, but can’t seem to figure this one out. My boss doesn’t want to get involved. I want to quit.

How can I deal with this person?


Rubbed the wrong way

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Dear Rubbed,

We all end up working with people who rub us the wrong way. Changing jobs won’t make this issue go away.

Don’t run from bad situations; run toward good.

Questions to help you reflect on your journey.

  1. How might you bring out their best? Leaders deal with diverse personalities. You limit yourself when you can’t work with certain people.
  2. Irritation reveals who you are. What is it about you, that causes them to rub you the wrong way? Controlling people don’t like other controllers. Conscientious people don’t like irresponsibility.
    • Are they like you?
    • Which of your values do they violate?
    • Have other people, who are like this person, rubbed you the wrong way? Is there a pattern?
  3. Who do you want to be during your interactions with the person. Don’t allow impulse to control you.
  4. How might this person make you better? The worst thing you can do when your teammates rub you the wrong way is allow them to bring out your worst, drain your energy, and limit vision for yourself.
  5. How much of the bad stuff in your life is other people’s fault? Do you see a pattern of blame?

The danger of people who rub us the wrong way is we believe we have “legitimate” justification to hang on to our negative responses.

Never allow a frustrating relationship be the reason you live below your potential.

What might help a person who works with people who rub them the wrong way?