Breaking the Wall that Arrogance Built

Working on others is a joy. After all, they need so much help.

The need to fix others blinds you to yourself.

Influence requires connection, but there’s a wall between you and the people on your team that’s built by arrogance.

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The toughest thing:

The toughest thing about connecting with others is the demand it makes on you. 

Disconnected leaders focus on changing others. The more important question is how do you need to change.

Real relationships are fulfilling but messy and dangerous. Isolation, in the short-term, is easier than connection. 

Think more about changing yourself and less about changing others.

You need to change when:

  1. You repeatedly complain about others.
  2. No one is good enough, except you.
  3. Your first thought is how do they need to change.

The gift of connection is it changes you, not that you change others. Frankly, it’s easier to work on others than yourself.

Blindness of disconnection:

  1. You think you have the best ideas on the team because you don’t share information, create context, leverage strengths, or communicate vision.
  2. You think you’re the hardest working person on the team because you don’t know what others are doing.
  3. You think you’re the smartest person on the team because you don’t know what others are thinking.

3 questions to connect with others:

  1. What are you hoping to achieve?
  2. What makes you proud?
  3. Where are you getting the best results?

3 questions for reflection:

  1. What have you recently learned? How is it changing the way you interact with others?
  2. How are the tensions you feel with others mostly about you?
  3. How might you share your frailties in ways that strengthen connection?

Connections enhance influence and elevate the meaning of work.

How might leaders strengthen connection?

How are you changing?