5 Ways to Deal with Jackholiness
Jackholes are part jackass, part asshole.
No one is quite good enough for a jackhole.
Jackholes can’t tolerate:
- Mistakes. Others make all the mistakes in jackhole land.
- Falling short. Jackholes don’t fall short.
- Weakness. What’s that?
- Progress. Progress is irrelevant. Jackholes have already arrived.
The tragedy of jackholiness is the inability to develop new leaders.
Intolerance disqualifies jackholes from leadership development.
Three things are certain, when no one is quite good enough to be a leader on your team. You’re overestimating your own hotness. Second, you have forgotten where you came from. Last, you’ve lost sight of you’re own jackholiness.
5 ways to deal with jackholiness:
There’s a whiff of jackholiness in all of us. Only a hardened jackhole would think otherwise.
When no one is ever good enough:
#1. Reflect on what you were like when you put your feet under the leadership table for the first time.
If I’m not mistaken, you’re still a bit in the dark.
#2. Remember all the people who helped you. Only the most deluded jackholes think they’re self-made.
#3. Recall your failures, not just lessons learned.
Reject the illusion that you were always this wise.
#4. Live up to your own standards. Jackholes hold others accountable and exempt themselves. Do more than you expect others to do. Do the dirty work.
#5. Learn from people who aren’t good enough. Standing aloof limits your capacity to learn, grow, connect, and serve.
Nothing like learning – from someone who knows less than you – to kick your inner jackhole in the butt.
Bonus: Give trusted allies permission to point out your jackholiness when they see it. (In the moment, not later.) When was the last time you heard something that really stung?
The drift toward jackholiness destroys all who go there.
What are some signs of jackholiness?
How might leaders deal with their own jackholiness?
So true! Completely spot on and can’t say it any better than this: “Nothing like learning – from someone who knows less than you – to kick your inner jackhole in the butt.”
Thanks Jim. My wife laughed out loud at that one. That was a good sign. 🙂
This is great! We all need reminders that we each have an inner jackhole and the person who just happens to be letting his or hers out for a little romp that day is reflecting our own weakness in the mirror.
Thanks Susan. I hate mirrors… 🙂
Thanks for making me laugh today. This was a good one.
Thanks Andrea. My wife laughed too. 🙂
Thanks for the reminder to not get high on myself!
Thanks Robyn. Ego is great…in small doses. A little dab’ll do ya.
Here’s the issue. Jackholes won’t read this article because they think it doesn’t apply to them.
Or they do read and this it applies to someone else. Oh, the irony.
Thanks Stephanie. You’re not suggesting this applies to me, are you? 👍
Hey Dan, great post, but my inner jackhole found that tragedy and jackhole are both misspelled in the first few lines.
I’d hate someone to miss the incredible brilliance of this post!!
Great message Dan,
Somewhere along the line we all have been there!
The key is not to go back!
Thanks for reminding us that we ALL have a bit of jackhole within us, and that it is completely normal. Your list of ways to deal with it is perfect!
“Reflect on what you were like …”. That’s my go to strategy whenever I am being an “Alfhole” (my personal variant of Jackhole). I can’t believe the crap others put up with from me. And I am grateful they did.
My second trick? Don’t lie to yourself. It’s a bit of a variant on #3 and #4 and your bonus item. Have people I go to for feedback but I am also conscious that the guy looking back at me in the mirror is ultimately accountable. Leaning on others too much can transfer ownership of reflection to them. Do it to much and they become a problem for you and not a solution.
That same advice, if you will, applies to the person in the mirror! Provide the good along with the bad. Own your problems, but equally own your potential.
Another question is “how to deal with Jackholes?” I just ignore them, as most are not interested in personal development. Unless they were my boss, then ignoring them becomes harder.
How many successful entrepreneurs are Jackholes? Leaders? Politicians? Oh my…
Excellent post, and I’ve now added another word to my vocab – jackhole!
Here’s another sign of jackholiness – Being eager to believe the worst in people before believing the best in them!
Great reminder for all of us to “bridle” our own Jackholiness before someone you respect pulls on the reins. Better to bridle ourselves than have someone else makes you bite the bit!
Hey Dan. Great post. I like the suggestion of having someone call you out on this. Maybe a mutual support team?
Wow! Spot on! Boards could learn so much from this! Please keep the lessons coming!
Absolutely love this post!