Two Hours to Courage
Fear talks you out of exceptional and into mediocre.
Losing the conversation with fear means: problems persist, teams reach low, and you’re less of a leader than you could be.
Cowards dream dreams. The courageous take action.
Two hours to courage:
Suppose tarantulas terrify you. That’s probably not a stretch.
How long would it take you to allow a tarantula to walk across your hand? A year, six months, 6 weeks, 6 days, or six hours? Never!?
Through gradual and graduated exposure it took two hours for arachnophobes to let a tarantula walk across their hand . (Reported in, The Power of Moments, pp. 183-186.)
Practice courage:
#1. Scare yourself:
The only way to overcome fear is to scare yourself.
Meetings suck, but you’re afraid to bring it up.
Office culture feels cold. But it feels safe to pull up your collar and keep your head down. You rationalize that it wouldn’t matter anyway.
What’s the bravest thing you can do today to energize meetings or warm office culture?
Tip: Aim low. Don’t aim for radical transformation in a day.
Tomorrow aim a little less low.
#2. Connect with courageous colleagues:
Stop huddling with cowards. Hang with the courageous.
Seeing courage instills courage.
One reason arachnophobes were able to touch a tarantula in two hours was someone first modeled the steps.
I asked Simon Sinek where courage comes from.
“Courage comes from the courage of others around us. When you meet people with courage, it gives you courage. When somebody believes in you, that gives you courage.” Simon Sinek.
#3. Instill courage in others.
- Share how you’re managing your own fear.
- Forgive responsible failure.
- Design gradual and graduated opportunities to face fear.
- Create a plan. What will you do when fear grips you?
- Focus on the next step.
How might leaders manage their own fears?
How might leaders instill courage in others?
Good morning, Dan…. this is another great blog… my favorite line that I am going to remember and use is “Tomorrow aim a little less low.” Best advice of the morning! Thank you!
Thanks Lisa. I’m so glad that quote meant something to you. Sometimes we’re paralyzed when we aim high. The idea of exposure therapy is gradual and graduated exposure.
I totally agree with you Lisa! Best line!!
I have always liked the line–
Keep your fears behind you and your vision in front of you.
Thanks Paul. One antidote to fear is forward movement. The less we do the more fearful we get.
This is a great lesson! It helps me to visualize myself successful in what I am about to do – the vision is my courage! Very powerful!
Thanks Lisa. YES! A vision we believe in gives us courage. I’ve also read that it’s useful to visualize yourself engaging in the behaviors that produce the success you want to achieve.
It helps me if I remember how closely related fear and courage are. We don’t lose our fear when we decide to be courageous. But we do channel it off to the side, maybe only slightly at first until we can do what needs to be done in spite of it. A conscious decision to take positive action is what separates courage from fear. This is in line with the graduated exposure approach. Great post, Dan.
You nailed an important idea, Christopher. If we aren’t careful we beat ourselves up for feeling fear. Courage requires fear. Without fear courage is irrelevant.
Wow, another great quote. “Courage requires fear. Without fear courage is irrelevant.”
Maybe that’s why there is that little trick of ‘close your eyes and jump’. It can be brave to cover your eyes and take a leap. Or a little lower step. Or a horrible tarantula foot. We secretly know that it’s our own fear that holds us back so we can blinker ourselves from it at the critical moment.
Thanks Cate. I hadn’t thought about closing your eyes. Interesting idea. It gives you the chance to know you won’t die if you stretch yourself.
“Stop huddling with cowards. Hang with the courageous.”
I bristled when I read that… not out of anger, disagreement or disbelief…
I believe the reason I reacted was this… fear.
Fear that pushing myself to “hang with the courageous” might put my fear on display.
Fear that it might advertise my weaknesses to people I respect.
Fear that those people might reject me.
But I’m over it.
“Courage requires fear. Without fear courage is irrelevant.”
So I’m prepared to be brave.
Thanks for the encouragement.
Hey Page. Hats off to you. Your transparency is remarkable. I felt like you gave me a glimpse into your inner person.
I wonder how transparency might propel us into courage. For example, could we be transparent about our fears with others. I think this works when we are forward-facing.
We might say, “I’m nervous about this, but I’m stepping forward. What suggestions do you have?”
Nothing more soul sucking than capitulating to your fear. Stretching your comfort zone, challenging the status quo takes facing your fears. Facing fear invigorates you and fill your soul with self esteem.
Hey Michael. Yes! Nothing like stepping into your fear to make you feel alive!
I think it depends. You can get very woo-woo about there being nothing to fear, but if you take your leap of faith, jump and miss the other side, things can go catastrophic.
Build your courage, but remember all the courage in the world won’t let you swim carrying an anvil.
Thanks Mitch. Pretending you aren’t afraid might help a little, but it has little to do with overcoming fear. You can’t manage fear if you’re in denial.
Two words that help us know how far to go are gradual and graduated. I suppose the “leap” metaphor needs some clarification. 🙂
Thanks Dan, maybe think of it this way: make sure when you leap you have a decent chance to reach the other side! There nothing brave about stepping forward into a live minefield…
I know I have noticed that I gravitate towards people who are courageous. I feel more comfortable when they are around, I want them to come with me when I have to face something new or uncomfortable. It helps me to become a little more courageous myself and prepares me to go alone the next time. I see how they act in a situation and I recreate it the next time. I learn better that way too. There are times in my position where I do have to step out of my comfort zone and that takes some self confidence. It may be uncomfortable, but until you repeat it, it will never get any better.