When High Expectation Comes Out as Criticism and Complaint
High expectations too often come out as disappointment and dissatisfaction.
Why would people reach high when they’re met with criticism and complaint?
Leaders with high expectations tend to point out what isn’t good enough and ignore progress at the same time.
Progress is seldom satisfactory to high-expectation leaders.
If you aren’t careful, high expectations suck the energy out of everyone – including you.
A high-expectation leader might say, “If things can always be better, why celebrate progress?”
A high-expectation story:
Imagine the high-expectation leader of your team is out of town for a week. During that time an important team project comes due.
Now imagine that a key team member takes the bull by the horns without being asked. He creates a plan. Contacts other team members. And asks people to take on responsibilities.
Additionally, imagine he asks the team when they would like to meet next. A date and time are chosen. Everything is covered.
What might the high-expectation leader say? “Oh my gosh. I can’t believe it.” Then he might point out past performance problems and warn about what might go wrong.
Igniting passion for excellence:
Which path ignites passion for excellence?
- Expressing surprise when someone steps up? “It’s about time.”
- Offering warnings and suggestions when someone takes initiative? “Make sure you remember everything that needs to be done.” (Adding too much value.)
- Acknowledging behaviors you’d like to see repeated. “I appreciate you stepping up. Great job. Do you need anything from me?”
High expectation tip: Spend more time thinking about where you’re going and less time complaining about the past.
How might high expectations hinder the development of team members and suck the life out of teams?
What are some ways to have high expectations and build morale at the same time?
I love to see my team take something on without being asked. I have to make sure that I don’t rain on it. I have seen them do that and then I come and remind them “I have a process to make changes”. Told them its good you had a new idea but next time lets talk about it before getting so far out of the box. There is a chance that I could have handled it so much better.
I’ve found over the years that regardless of the challenges or tasks that the team, myself or other individuals undertook if you celebrate (in any way) incremental progress and you either provide or receive encouragement high achievements can be had. It’s like if you are a athlete training increment exercise with spurts of high activity can build strength and lead to success. It’s amazing to see someone shine when you give them an atta boy as they move along on the challenge and that means presents an opportunity to help them along in constructive advice. Leaders who ignore that will cause undo stress and eventually drive people out.
Thank you Dan! I needed that. 🙂
Too many of us spend too much time dwelling on the past. Learn from it and then let it go.
Thank you for recognizing the office world I live in, everyday. Fortunately, I’m extremely self-motivated, enjoy what I do and I work with a fantastic team, so that helps the perpetual dark cloud that has lingered for many years.
ANSWER: Use a “Blank Page” comparison.
One of the best ways to encourage appreciation along with high expectations is this: When presented with something that’s underway, and tempted to evaluate and add value, start by mentally comparing what you are shown with a blank page (the ‘likely starting point’ of what you’re commenting on). Then, verbally acknowledge and affirm how much has been accomplished (how much more there is than a blank page), and the value that is being created.
Even though you WANT to compare what you’re seeing to your ‘ideal finished product,’ don’t. Swallow your ‘helpful’ comments. Instead, finish by asking what you can do to further support their great efforts. And encourage the team to keep up the good work.
High expectations should be inspiring, never demotivating.
If you do this repeatedly, affirming the excellent, high-quality progress, and encouraging the team to keep at it, you’ll have that High Expectation culture you want, with the high morale to spread it around throughout the organization.