7 Powerful Proactive Responses to Hot Emotion
Proactive people make things happen. Reactive people wait for things to happen.
Reactions come with their own punishment.
Reactions are spontaneous. Someone pushes you; you push back. You say something that causes harm.
Reactions deliver short-term satisfaction and long-term hardship.
7 dangers of reacting:
- The more you react, the more you stay the same.
- The more you react, the more others control you.
- The more you react, the more your thinking congeals.
- The more you react, the more you feel pushed around.
- The more you react, the more frustration you feel.
- The more you react, the more negative consequences you experience.
- The more you react, the more disappointed you become.
5 emotions that switch on reaction-mode:
- Stress. You move toward basic instincts when you’re stressed.
- Discouragement. The world shrinks for discouraged people.
- Confusion. You either run like a scared hamster or freeze like a terrified possum.
- Worry. You focus on things you can’t control. Eventually, you find comfort in helplessness.
- Anger and resentment. Your mind closes to options. They need to pay. You attack, defend, or withdraw.
7 powerful proactive responses to hot emotion:
Show up to build up.
Create a proactive response to hot emotion before you need it.
When you’re angry, it’s too late to create proactive responses to anger. The same goes for stress, discouragement, confusion, and worry.
- Gratitude. “Thank you for bringing this up.”
- Curiosity. “What do you want?” “What’s behind this?”
- Declaration. “I want to make this situation better.”
- Acknowledgement. “You must feel terrible.” “This makes me feel terrible.”
- Vulnerability. “I don’t know the answer.”
- Apology. “I was wrong.”
- Space. “I’m going to need some time to reflect on this.”
You act with the future in mind when you’re proactive.
Reactive people reveal their current selves. Proactive people express their aspirational selves.
What are some problems with reactive management?
How might people become more proactive?