How to Be a People-Pleaser and Still Be True to Yourself
“I can’t give you a sure-fire formula for success, but I can give you a formula for failure: try to please everybody all the time.” Herbert Bayard Swope, first recipient of the Pulitzer Prize
You always seek to please someone.
There are two persons to please. If you add God there are three.
The person you seek to please has power in your life.
Quality of life hinges on the expectations of the person you choose to please.
How people-pleasers fail:
You dilute your unique contribution when you lose yourself to people-pleasing.
You dilute yourself when you…
- Pretend to agree.
- Feel responsible for other people’s feelings.
- Need praise to approve of yourself.
- Can’t say no.
- Avoid tough conversations.
- Don’t ask for what you want.
- Can’t take care of yourself.
People-pleasing is self-defeating when you violate your values. Use self-knowledge and social-knowledge to build pleasing relationships.
How people-pleasers succeed:
- Learn how to please others by analyzing your ability to please yourself.
- Avoid self-defeating behaviors to gain approval.
- Enjoy pleasing others, but don’t need it. Enjoyment isn’t neediness.
- Self-interest motivates you to bring your best.
- Work to please the person who signs your paycheck.
- Seek to please a noble or admirable person.
- Say no clearly and kindly. You’re an unhealthy people-pleaser if you can’t say no.
Bonus: Make decisions. Indecisive leaders – who need to please everyone – end up pleasing no one.
Learn how to be a healthy people-pleaser. Every successful person knows how to please others.
All your time is spent to please someone. Even when you seek to please others, there is an element of self-interest.
The more people you please, the more successful you become.
What’s the difference between healthy and unhealthy people-pleasing?