How to Build Relationships with the Right People
The Gant Study on human development is in the second generation of participants. It began in 1938. Good genes aren’t the answer to the good life. Neither is working out, a good diet, or a great job.
The answer to the good life is supportive relationships.
How to build relationships with the right people:
Identify the right people
Choose travel partners carefully. Jim Rohn said, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”
Choose people who…
- Challenge you. Look for people who expand your life.
- Need your help. Giving to others makes you better.
- Can do things you can’t.
- Do something remarkable or who aspire to do something remarkable.
- Work outside your organization. Use technology to connect. Move beyond transactions.
Choose character
People often have an outstanding character quality. Some are kind. Others look you in the eye and say what they see without flinching.
You need a doer, a dreamer, and a feeler in your life. Doers know how to get things done. They’re systematic and finish what they start. Dreamers love “we could.” Feelers have tender hearts.
How relationships begin
Make an ask. You notice someone who excels where you aspire to excel. Say, “I notice you’re great at building relationships, what advice do you have for connecting with people?”
Another type of ask goes like this, “I could use your help.” Be specific. Don’t ask for a life-long commitment.
An ask reveals a person’s character. Generous people build richer relationships than skinflints.
Make an offer. “I notice you’re working to …. I’d like to learn more.” In the process of learning more you might find ways to be helpful. Don’t send an email saying, “I think I can help you,” but show up to help.
How could you build relationships today?
What advice do you have on this topic?
Still curious:
My Best Relationship Advice for Leaders
A Simple Approach to Relationship Building
Love the ideas of doers, dreamers and feelers and am fortunate to have all in my circle. I find it interesting how learning to appreciate the talents and perspectives of others helps me be a better person and a better leader. Thanks, as always, for the post.
I’m glad you jumped in. I spent too many years being frustrated with people who I should have embraced.
Wow. Simple, concise post with so much wisdom and a powerful, impactful message. Got me thinking and questioning – as a good essay should do.
Thought is a beautiful thing. Enjoy.
One of the ways that I have found that is most beneficial in building relationships is to notice something that someone is good at and then ask for their help in getting better at that skill yourself.
“I notice you’re really good at building agendas for meetings and making sure the right players are in the room. I’m struggling with setting an agenda for this meeting and making sure I’ve invited the right people. Can you look at it with me and help?” …. that conversation goes a long way and both parties win.
Love it Josh. Asking for help is humble and open. Asking for help in an area where someone else excels honors people. It’s good all around.
Go into any relationship with a Mindset of WHAT CAN I GIVE to this relationship?
This may win you better, deserving relationships.
Thanks, CV. It’s much less stressful to think give rather than get. As always, thanks for adding to the conversation. I appreciate you being a consistent contributor.