3 Things to Do When You Assume the Worst
I weed-wacked around our wellhead before the well guy arrived. I wanted it to look pretty for him. (Read about our dry well here.) But he never looked at the well. When Dave arrived, he went inside our house to diagnose our equipment. Ten minutes later, we had water.
Don’t assume the worst.
The worst:
Your brain has a mind of its own.
When bad things happen, you think the worst. I do. A headache is brain cancer. The car makes a strange noise, we need to trade it before it blows up. People are whispering, they’re saying bad things about me.
I assume the worst when there’s no water at the spigot. I told Dave the well was dry. He said, “Tell me the history of your well.” He didn’t assume the worst.
Our well has served us over 30 years. It’s never gone dry, even in the driest years. We run it dry occasionally when we abuse it. But it always comes back in a couple hours. When I told him the well was reliable, he said, “It’s pretty unusual for a well to just stop working.”
I concluded the worst. By the time the well guy arrived, I had figured out how to fit the drilling rig between the pool and the garage. I figured he would drill our 80’ well deeper.
I already called a water company about delivering a storage tank.
The well is fine. The pressure gauge is broken. When it didn’t rise, I shut the pump off.
What to do when you assume the worst:
#1. When something goes wrong look for the simplest solution. Check the power cord when your computer doesn’t boot up.
#2. Assume the best until proven otherwise.
#3. Check the gauges. What are you measuring and are your measurements accurate? Maybe your expectations are wacky.
What do you do when you assume the worst?
What are some symptoms of assuming the worst?
Still curious:
Brené Browns Top Leadership Tip
Happy Monday, Dan!
I think you could do an entire blog point around the need to make the well-head look pretty! LOL!
When my car acts weird (it’s an old 2002 Honda), I wash it and clean it out! I know it won’t fix the mechanical issue, but something in my mind says “Your car needs self-care.”
Must be something in the human condition. Great Monday post! Have a great week!
Thanks, SB. You’re right. Not only did I try to make the well-head pretty. I had figured how the expert was going to do his job.
It’s funny, but our vehicles run better after they’re washed or have an oil change.
Same to you, SB. Have a great week.
I was taught from a young age to assume the worst and hope for the best. It’s hard to flip that switch sometimes.
Thanks, Brandi. Well, there is a good side to assuming the worst. It aids preparation. The downside is it can suck the life out of us. I have started saying, “Look for the simple problem.” I still think the well is dry but look for a simple problem first. 🙂
Don’t call the well guy and say, “My well is dry.” Say the truth. “We don’t have water.”
I wish you well
Dan, so timely. I also presume the worst. I’m a half-empty guy for sure. I’m scheduled for surgery for prostate cancer this Thursday. And I’m preparing for the worst. 95% of guys have no lasting negative side affects, but someone is in that 5%. Is it I? I believe in the sovereignty of God who himself is good. I trust him, and yet I find it hard not to feel anxious. And just telling myself “don’t be anxious” is not working at the moment. Maybe my expectations are wacky. And maybe I should stop looking at the internet!
A meaningful Monday to you!
I wish you a successful surgery, Pete. I’m a half-empty too. What surprises me is the people I work with don’t see it. I wonder if it’s because we always end up looking to the future during our conversations. I believe in prayer. I’ll be praying you’re in the 95%. Steady on my friend.
This is my go-to when I am anxious. “[Philippians 4:6-7] 6 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; 7 and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” Praying for you.
Thanks, wchance. Gratitude seems to be an important component of answering anxiety. One thing is pretty clear. Telling yourself not to feel anxious is futile.
Hi Dan. I am the opposite of Pete Smith. I expect the best until someone or something proves me wrong. For example, I had a bad blood test a few years back that could have been a sign of cancer. I did not stress about it for one second because I don’t have cancer until someone can prove to me that I have cancer. It turned out to be nothing. I believe that positive thinking can work miracles and negative thinking can cause its own problems. As the famous Zig Zigler would say: stop the stinkin’ thinkin’.
Love that, Paul. It’s easy to forget that there are half-full people in the world.
Cynicism is a self-fulfilling prophecy. You will find bad when you look for it.
I am a gal half full person. I generally look towards what the positive is. It took me years to get there. I always like to look towards the positive but will at times slip back into stinkin’ thinkin’. This was a great way to start my week as I slipped over the weekend reading only the subject line of emails vowing to not be reading them until I was back in the office. Yep, just as I suspected it was information only.
Thanks, bg. You remind me a wonderful book by Martin Seligman, “Learned Optimism.” I’ve been through it a couple times. I think it’s time to hit it again. 🙂 Cheers
Excellent post. As humans we naturally go to the worst case. For those who don’t, they have worked hard to have a good mindset. So, is the glass half empty or half full? It’s half way to one more! Lemonade, of course.
Now that’s forward-facing. And that’s my favorite. Thanks, coach.
This is something I need to read more about for my personal life, not just work life. I have just got into a relationship after 10 years being on my own and raising my daughter. I’ve been scared to bring someone else into my life because of what I experienced in my past relationships. Whenever my new partner cancels something or says he’s going to be late or can’t make it, my brain automatically switches to the worst thoughts possible – “He’s cheating on me” “He’s no longer interested” “he’s going to hurt me”. My traumatised mind needs to relearn to trust again and to switch my thoughts from going straight to the worst case scenario. I keep these thoughts to myself as I’m the queen of self-sabotage.
I have, however, been extremely honest with him from the start on my mental health and my inability to see logic sometimes. And he’s so patient and understanding – I’m the catastrophising, stressy type and he’s the laid back, logic type. I’m just afraid that if I can’t switch my thinking, that I will eventually push him away, which is why I know I need help with switching my thoughts so they don’t automatically go to the negative, inane, self-hurting thoughts that come back to haunt me.
More posts like this would be absolutely amazing.
What a great reminder. Not just in your response, reminding us not to assume the worst, but in your well guy’s response. When people tell us what is wrong, don’t assume they’re correct, and ask a few questions to test, and figure out what the real problem is…