How to Handle Lazy Co-Workers (Without Picking Up Their Slack)
It’s another great book giveaway.
20 signed copies available!!
Leave a comment on this guest post by Karin Hurt and David Dye to become eligible for one of 20 SIGNED complimentary copies of their new book, Powerful Phrases for Dealing with Workplace Conflict.
Deadline for eligibility is 06/23/2024. Only available in the continental United States.
Scrolling social media. Long lunches. Arriving late. Leaving early. “Phoning in” half-baked work. Moving slower than a sloth in a meditation retreat . . . There’s not much more annoying than a chronically lazy coworker.
It’s easy to think, “Why in the world am I working so hard, when this clown gets away with so much? Isn’t my boss paying attention?”
Of course, it’s technically not your problem to solve. It’s possible your manager is dealing with the issue and can’t talk about it.
But it’s still your problem.
Because, you know, the work.
So, what do you do? How do you deal with a lazy co-worker without picking up their slack?
What to Say to a Lazy Co-Worker Without Picking up Their Slack:
Bring on some Powerful Phrases from our new book, Powerful Phrases for Dealing with Workplace Conflict.
First. Don’t get lazy yourself. Don’t engage in drama, complaining, or gossip about the lazy one. You’ll just waste time.
Do this instead with these Powerful Phrases.
CONNECT WITH YOUR COWORKER
“Is everything okay?”
“Can we talk about how we can best support one another and the team?”
“I’ve been feeling like I’m taking on too much of the load. I’m curious about what this looks like from your perspective.”
“Can you give me a hand here?”
TO ESCALATE TO YOUR MANAGER
“I don’t want to overstep my role here, but I want to ensure you are aware of the impact on the rest of the team.”
“Can you give me some advice on how to handle this?” “Is there anything I can do to pitch in during the short run?”
The key is to show up connected and curious about what’s going on and align on a path forward.
What would you say to a lazy co-worker?
BONUS:
Karin and David in their own words. Don’t miss 12 minutes of hard-hitting practical advice based on the new book, Power Phrases. How to say no to anyone, including the boss. What to do when you feel you’re being ignored?
Karin Hurt is Founder and CEO of Let’s Grow Leaders, a global leadership development firm known for practical tools and techniques for human-centered leaders. Karin is an award-winning author of five books
David Dye is President of Let’s Grow Leaders. David is an award-winning author of six books.
Is this easier to deal with when there is a personal relationship with the co-workers or does that make it harder?
Hi David. So much easier if you are connected. In the book we talk about 4 Dimensions of more productive conflict (Connection, Clarity, Curiosity and Commitment). When someone knows you have their best interest at heart, they are more likely to be receptive to the conversation.
I think building the relationship builds trust. The crucial conversations then become easier to have.
What timing! I’m exploring the option of moving to the manager track, but always hesitated because I did not want to be responsible for other people and wasn’t sure I would be able to handle situations like this! Can’t wait to check out this book to help build my confidence and fill my toolbox with strategies. Thank you!
Great feedback
Managing Lazy workers can be even harder than having a lazy co-worker. Using these phrases on those you manage can work as well. Definitely will look in to more of these phrases!
Wendy, so true. Our INSPIRE method works well for such accountability conversations (we talk about that in the book too).
I- Initiate (intent and connection)
N-Notice (the behavior)
S-Support (specific examples)
P- Probe (get curious about what’s going on)
I- Invite (them to come up with the solution to the behavior you’re looking to change)
E- Enforce (recap and schedule a time to check in)
What is the “R” in INSPIRE?
This is great! I recently attended a Crucial Conversations webinar and enjoyed the content. I work with students so these tools can be helpful to empower them in their own workplace and to encourage them to take initiative.
Scott,
From their site: https://letsgrowleaders.com/2021/02/11/how-to-provide-more-meaningful-performance-feedback/
The “R” stands for “Review” which they elaborate as:
“Here’s where you recap their commitment. This is a check for understanding. ‘Great, so what I hear you’re going to do is to ensure you let your peers finish their ideas and really consider them before offering your opinion.’ “.
Peggy Lynn
This is great! I am managing a lazy report, and it’s hard to try to have these conversations! Thanks!
Thanks for the post. This would be especially helpful for my near future roles!
A relevant topic to address in the days of quietly quitting / minimally staying
This sounds like a great read for any team member. Dealing with some of the younger generations work ethic has become areal challenge.
This will also be helpful for my Discipleship House and managing chores / projects for the house. I appreciated the snipits for both dealing graciously with the coworker plus getting the boss involved. Interested in more…
Right now, I am not sure if I am dealing with lazy people or management. I am still feeling around to find my grounding and not overstep. I love that there are a few questions to ask management. I am stepping into a cross functional role where I am the manager for a supervisor and a supervisor for a team so it is confusing. I am trying not to overstep, yet make both teams successful. Any feedback on how to have those difficult discussions with a manager/director would be great. Thank you for this post today.
I always encourage my employees: Clarity is Kindness but we have a very “nice” culture and it is very difficult to motivate people to have these more challenging conversations. Any advice on how to get more of these necessary conversations going? I love the phrases on the post today to start some of those conversations but I think we have more work to do! Thank you!
Sometimes the nicest thing we can do for our coworkers is address the looming issue.
Here’s some inspiration to start the conversation.
https://letsgrowleaders.com/2023/03/27/how-to-start-the-conversation/
Always great to expand my resources and ideas for dealing with unproductive conflict in the workplace. I spend most of my time helping leaders be comfortable with the produtive conflict on teams. I’d love to add this to my toolbox. Thanks for the post.
Good article. How do you deal with lazy managers who are not proactive in dealing with your lazy coworkers, without alienating them by going over their head?
Love this!
What’s the line when you move past “nice” to “you’re off the island?”
It’s easy to fall into “woe is me” when dealing with another’s perceived or demonstrated laziness. Much better to be calculated and forward thinking in addressing things constructively. Love this post!
I look forward to the content because it will hopefully help the person grow toward their potential as well as providing relief for the team. Thank you.
This is great advice – try to connect with and engage the “lazy” worker, rather than just react in a negative manner. This topic reminds me of the classic Pareto principle (20% of your plants produce 80% of the fruit; 20% of your workers produce 80% of the work/output; 20% of the causes lead to 80% of the consequences; etc.). You should focus on the 20% to get better results. However, you can’t simply ignore the other 80% – you’re going to need to deal with it in some way at some point.
Very timely and much needed in my workplace right now. I intend to use the suggested. Thanks for the great ideas and feedback.
Connection is foundational; the better the relationship, the easier the conversation. When the other person knows you come at them from a safe place, listening (and hearing) is much easier for them. All too often we avoid the conversation because it makes US uncomfortable; we use the excuse that we don’t want to hurt their feelings. To be a great teammate or leader, we must overcome our own fears to help things go right.
Not easy handling the lazy co-worker. So, how to do handle when the lazy one has formed alliance in the team and others are following him blindly? Now it is not only one but a whole alliance, please advise. Thanks.
It is hard to learn to work with a whole generation of people and work ethics. Love to read all the helpful ideas and suggestions.
Hey Dan, I like “Is everything okay?”, as long as it is said with the appropriate curious inflection. It immediately places the other person in a place of being cared for. The rub is all of these phrases demand additional candor when you must actually start talking about the behavior. I once heard someone say Candor without Kindness is Cruelty. 🙂 I try my best to live that and share it as often as I can. Thanks.
This method is great for starting curiosity rather than blame. Sometimes people are going through personal difficulties that they feel hesitant to share with team. Showing empathy may open the door to understanding and gain buy-in from the teammate that needs to pick up the pace.
I work at a place that seems to allow lazy behavior and those who do work are it seems looked over.
Management says they know of the lazy people but we never see anything done about it
It is all about the numbers and profit
With it hard to find decent workers it seems they just look the other way hoping to get more people to apply for a job
I even gave my copy of the book, “the ideal team player” to management hoping they would realize they are destroying the hard working people by excusing the poor workers
Maybe someday it will change but I sure hope I can find a way to not be there anymore.
No workplace is worth sacrificing your mental health for
I’ve found that having close knit relationships on teams helps to alleviate the issue of laziness. It has been mostly true that well connected teams try to perform at high levels so that they don’t let “friends” down. It is sometimes harder to have close friendly relationships in a work environment, but the development of those close ties builds trust as well as peer pressure, which reinforces the need for elevated performance.
I look forward to reading your book to further strengthen my knowledge and understanding .
Perhaps my favorite part of this post is the intentionality of addressing the helpers and fixers of the world that tend to take on the work of the lazy in service to the greater good. It’s only the greater good as long as you feel part of (a contributor to) it. When we take on too much, we easily lose sight of why we do what we do.
Wonderful advice, I hope that there would be information that would also be helpful for management to take away in how to deal with employees that are “lazy”.
What is observed as a lazy coworker or employee may be a symptom of the environment. A lazy coworker may be resulting from a lazy manager or a manager who is conflict averse. A manager learning to be ok with being uncomfortable is important. I have seen “lazy” actually be working harder at beating the system than being lazy. When they become aware they of a coworker or manager who is engaging with them and making them accountable things can change. If a manager remains “lazy” before too long they will discover the engaged people, who observed no accountability for the “lazy” people, have left on moved on to more productive places. Its ok with having uncomfortable conversations, they can produce many positive results.
It’s important to recognize if it’s a pattern or a new behavior. Without seeking to understand we’re missing a big part of the picture. Patterns can be recognized and adjustments made. New behavior might indicate something else is going on that is taking their focus and they are blind to the perceptions of others while they’re dealing with that.
This is great advice! I wish I had it 25+ years ago when I was new to the corporate world. I don’t like to use the term “Lazy” just different work ethics. The tips in this article are non-confrontational and will help informal leaders learn some leadership tactics. It is all about how you approach the situation.
This is such a great topic. Sometimes I find it is not so much “laziness” but unclear, uncommunicated expectations. Having that “hard” conversation can reset the stage for a great working relationship with others. Most people do not want to disappoint anyone so putting that ownership with them can create the urgency to change the behavior. “I think others may be perceiving your actions in a way you are not intending. Help me understand how you are feeling/seeing this situation. What are your thoughts on solutioning this issue? What can I do to help/support you? Let’s set the expectation/outcome together.” Sometimes being seen and heard can shift a person’s view and work habits.
Verbalizing I am providing short term support is a nice approach to acknowledge the extra burden but not allow it to become forever drag me down.
Love the name of your organization “Let’s Grow Leaders”. Most people aren’t born with these skills. If no one teaches and inspires, how does the next round of potential leaders develop leadership skills? Excited to learn more from you!
Isn’t this the managers responsibility? I would never let an individual contributor handle this sort of situation. You’re asking for big trouble.
This speaks to me after talking to others in my organization. I can’t wait to delve into this text.
It is said that you can tell the culturally health of an organization by the way people handle inter-personal conflict. It is always about culture and climate.
Very timely for me, struggling with this with one of my coworkers. Thanks
I look forward to seeing the suggestions. I like the idea that clarity = kindness, however clarity doesn’t always mean that we are attending to the importance of connection and curiosity. Sometimes when we are being triggered by someone else’s behavior it is helpful to have tool to pull out of our back pocket.
Thanks for writing such a book.
This looks like a very useful book. As a manager I find myself struggling with generational differences. A younger generation that is full of new and exciting ideas on how to move things forward, and an older generation, who for lack of a better term are R.O.A.D (Retired On Active Duty). They are generally within 3 years of retirement and have lost that fire and passion, set in their ways and tough to get moving again.
Great Topic!
I read through the sample chapters and really enjoyed the author’s approach to the discussion of workplace conflict. I travel for business frequently and am always looking for opportunities to learn. I noticed the book is available on Audible and look forward to listening to it while traveling.
HI Michael, I’m so glad that you liked it. David and I read the book on the audible version, so it will be like we’re sitting in the seat next to you as you travel 😉
I feel this is a super tricky balance and needs to be noticed for some time before acting on it cause there is always a denial component or others not viewing it as you are. That would be my concern.
Wow! What a powerful book! I would love to read and learn more from it!
Handling lazy co-workers can be a challenge, but it’s also an opportunity to foster a culture of accountability and growth.
One unique perspective is to approach the situation as a chance to mentor and inspire.
Instead of picking up their slack, try engaging them in discussions about their strengths and interests, and find ways to align these with their tasks.
By investing in their personal development, you not only alleviate the immediate burden but also contribute to a more motivated and cohesive team in the long run.
This aligns with the principle that nurturing human potential is key to meaningful success in any organization.
What simple, yet powerful phrases to impact what can be incredibly frustrating and disempowering situations at work! Thanks for the ideas
THIS!
Thank you for sharing. These tidbits come at a good time in my career. It is a slippery slope when trying to help build capacity within our team at the same time as holding each accountable for their tasks. Everyone moves at their own speed, but some are deliberately slacking while the rest of us pick up the slack.
Hi Dan… communication is hard and I appreciate the tips on how to be effective with all team members and stakeholders and customers… I look forward to reading more!
As a new principal in a school I am on a steep learning curve of implementing skillsets and learning how to lead to build others, especially in those tough conversations or negative moments. It is my goal to build my staff to be the best version of themselves and make the most impact on our students. The more tools in my belt the more I can grow.
Kimberly, we’ve been hearing from a lot of educators about how they’re using the book. There is a free companion guide with book group discussion questions, activities and templates that you might find useful if you want your staff to read it together. https://letsgrowleaders.com/conflict-and-collaboration-resource-center/
Working with traditional college aged students, for many it is their first job.
You provide great positive tips and skills. Thanks for sharing!!
As I near retirement, I’m trying leave things better than I found them. Anything to help improve cooperation and communication, especially in the form of a book that can be shared over and over, would be a gift to everyone.
Creating change with positive results requires work. Building trust & forming a relationship with your co-worker will help make these conversations way easier. Then knowing what to say and how to say it makes a big difference as well. This sounds like a very interesting read with examples that could not only help in the workplace but in your personal life too.
I think this is great advice, to first seek to understand. I know over my career there have been times where, based on other commitments, I have less to give to my job and co-workers. For example, if someone looked at me the month that I took 12 trips to urgent care for various viruses going through the house and affecting my family members who range from 4-70, I quite possibly looked ‘lazy’ at work that month.
I need this book. Just the short snippet of advice in the blog was great. Thank you.
Very critical topic that happens too often at the workplaces. “I’ve been feeling like I’m taking on too much of the load. I’m curious about what this looks like from your perspective.” is a tough question to ask as you might not like the answer to it.
Rather intresting approach. This is much easier if done early on. Once culture has made the laziness acceptable, it becomes very difficult to weed out.
I’m curious how to ask that expectations for each person be set, without making it a rigid conversation. I would deal with the lazy coworker by calling it out and trying to make a plan as to who is responsible for what. But again, this is a co-worker and not my direct report. So I also feel this should come from the leader.
I feel like this has become more prevalent with so many working from home. I think so feel like they are “multi-tasking” when, in fact, they are really leaning on their coworkers more. Sometimes an employee just isn’t suited to remote work, but these can be great conversation starters to draw that out or get at the root cause of the issue.
This is good! I like the ‘don’t get lazy yourself’ comment. Sometimes it’s easy to miss the first, simple thing.
Thanks!
This is such a great one! I’ve shared it with my husband who is in this very predicament. Thanks for keeping this content relevant!
I love the suggestions for statements that you can use. Sometimes you just need a few tried and true phrases to bring out in these situations!
Such a great article. I appreciate the bonus video as well. I need to look for this book. This hits hard right now with me. I struggle with “conflict”. It is something I try to avoid, which is horrible as a supervisor of employees. I find it’s so much easier dealing with it with people I don’t have a relationship with. I’m working on changing my thinking of it as conflict when dealing with co-workers but am struggling with it. I am ready to quit because of how much strain employees are causing.
Great post!
I have had instances throughout my life where I have interacted with people that possibly were being lazy, complacent, or flat-out taking advantage of their situation. I personally think in some ways it is harder to work through these issues these days, remaining cognizant — socially aware and emotionally intelligent — of the impact of your actions while balancing being a supportive coworker and a responsible employee. It is a struggle, but the outcome is better than the ‘traditional’ more restrictive, dictative mentality. Even in an inclusive environment it is up to me to apply my knowledge to react properly. These types of resources help me work out my thoughts for better practices, and I appreciate the opportunity to absorb the authors’ approach and knowledge. I especially liked the INSPIRE information I found while perusing their website.
This is good to reflect on. I always find myself caught up in the drama.
When a person feels impacted by someone who is not pulling their weight, it can be easy to slip into judgement. Thanks for reminding to stay open, curious and helpful.
Great advice to help get the conversation started. From an engagement standpoint, it’s important that employees feel like the can address this issue in a productive way. I think the next step is dealing with a lazy boss. Delegation is one thing, but when the boss is the one who is scrolling through social media or otherwise unavailable, that can become even more challenging to address in a way that is productive.
Great read and reminder to have those crucial conversations!
Potentially a great book to share with my book club at work.
One of the ways that I deal with the lazy co-worker is to assign responsibilities and deadlines at the end of meetings. This has to be direct and something that is within the realm of their work, otherwise you run the risk of asking someone who is lazy, or quiet quitting, to do something that they’re not skilled at. It also helps if you can find a way to ‘ask’ the person to perform the task in front of a group.
I’m a superintendent at a small public school, so my example is from that point of view. Example: Josh is going to call the president of the athletic boosters and find out where their fundraising drive stands and he will provide an update the group by Monday.
This provides some specific action- call the booster club president and check on the fundraising drive- and a timeline. The real catch is what follow up is there from the leader’s end IF this doesn’t happen but typically even the lazy/quiet quitting co-worker doesn’t want to disappoint the group if it is something this specific.
Conflict is inevitable, but how we act, react, and respond is critical. Always helpful to learn new skills and ways to manage through difficult conversations.
Eager to read the book! Thanks!
I like the guidance about communicating clearly with your coworker and building a better relationship.
Do not take this to a manager! Complaining to our boss sometimes gets what we need done done and so it can seem effective. But the ripple effects of that action are all negative. Firstly, the boss wonders about our loyalty to the team. He wonders about our ability to build relationships and get things done on our own. Then our colleague feels negatively towards us for ‘throwing him under the bus’. Our other colleagues wonder if we’ll do it to them. And we’ve lost our escalation point. Like the boy who cries wolf, if we use the boss’s role power to solve the problem once, we have to use it every time.
When you put multiple people in a room, this is going to happen. Always good to brush up on ways to help manage it.
Very important and necessary topic
In most situations, the conversation is a bit easier when the employee feels connected. I have met with individuals and inquires what barriers are present and helped them devise a plan including check-ins and deadlines. If there conts. to be concerns, I follow up with supports outlined in a summary of meeting to servce as a record of support.
Words are powerful and it would be extremely beneficial to read your book. The term “healthy conflict” has always been oxymoron to many of my colleagues, however, without it, we potentially do not get to root cause issues and solutions to the problem….Building trust and having frank and open dialogue is key. Would like to see if the material could be used in our training material for new managers….
I always assume positive intent, but I find that is becoming so rare in our society these days. The people I know always tell me I’m wrong when I say that each of us is doing the best we can with what we have in the place we’re at. I approach my staff with this mindset and I find that people appreciate that I’m not thinking the worst of them and that I really want to help them to do better because I believe that they also want to do better.
Wow – some great stuff in this article alone!
After dealing with an employee who fits the bill here I saw the stress on my team and myself picking up the workload. I coached and worked with her only to have her do great for a few weeks then she would always go back to the bad habits that kept her from being a reliable member of our team. This article really covers so much of what we went through. Can’t wait to read more.
I like the connection recommendations. We don’t know what is going on with each other. I aim to walk along side people, without saving them. There are natural consequences.
Great advice. Lazy coworkers have a negative impact on the culture as a whole. As a leader, it is amazing how hard it is to help them see this effect!
Is it just me, or does this seem like a problem that is increasingly common?
I love the reminder to stay with a positive approach. I have a hard time not falling to the level of the gloomy gus on the team.
Great and timely article!
Great Advice — thanks for offering this to us.
Some great ideas here. Thanks for sharing. Looking forward to reading the book in its entirety!
A great start with the questions – the closed ended ones may not create conversation. Love the “I’m curious” statement!
I watched the video the examples seemed very clear and concise to get your message across. This book seems like a great tool to have as a manager. Would love to get a copy. Thank you!
Great guest post and topic to cover. In this situation, leadership should be a proactive approach to connect with this coworker. I like the advice to bring them in versus alienating them. Thanks for sharing this!
Love whenever there’s a why this is imoortant, what to do about it and how to do it posts! Thanks, Dan.
What you say and, equally important, how you say it … both are critical components in both management and leadership, whether it be face-to-face or in writing. It is critical to be able to “step on someone’s shoes and still leave a shine,” in both words and actions.
I liked the phrases as conversation starters. Certainly something to incorporate into our next leadership discussions. Thank you and have a great weekend.
This is a great post from great guests.
Another topic that will always engage, engaged employees but rarely the ones whom need to have a greater awareness of how their behaviours impact colleagues who endeavour to surpass company demands wayyyy before they are demanded. I firmly believe that the first gate to access for lazy people is lazy recruitment practices. It is highly worthwhile seeking out Kazuo Inamori’s Amoeba management model, if nothing else it will put fire in your heart if you are a radiator kinda personality and a smile on your face. As my old dad would have said, kill ’em with kindness, lazy people are lazy as they’ve lost their passion, don’t let them wear ye down.
Interesting and quite useful. I currently manage a highly motivated team, bit have had past teams where some of these conversation starters would have been helpful.
Sounds like a great read! Love a practical approach to dealing with crucial conversations. It is challenging not to judge others who are not keeping up with the workload but meeting them where they are at and having the conversation helps them gain perspective of the impact they are having on others. Also to recognize when one is taking on more than expected is just as crucial a conversation. Finding a balance in the workload is so important to avoid a toxic work environment.
I get so excited by your book give aways. Something about books in the mail makes going to the mailbox worthwhile.
“I’ve been feeling like I’m taking on too much of the load. I’m curious about what this looks like from your perspective.” This!
This is an interesting turn in that is written for coworkers instead of managers. I have been training early childhood administrators and this is a common dilemma. I would be interested in reading your book to see how you empower coworkers to give feedback to their peers.
Oh my goodness! What a wonderful book idea! I’m thrilled someone wrote it. I can’t wait to read it!!
Thank you for the insight and suggestions on how to start these conversations. I love the Peer to Peer coaching format as it always feels less offensive to receive vs. getting talked to by the manager.
I also, would love a copy of the book. Thank you!
The right way to push a lazy worker to act a desired way is to build confidence
and the will to contribute to be part of a winning team. Recall some past
achievement of him to get encouraged to start the success journey with the first step. Keep him informed on the progress update of others to remain competitive
.
I would love a copy! This book appears to be an excellent resource for dealing with all types of people. It provides many examples of how to handle difficult individuals and manage our reactions to them. By offering insights on effective communication, it helps us view situations from different perspectives and teaches how to phrase things in a productive and positive manner. Overall, this book can be a valuable tool for enhancing my interpersonal skills.
Thanks for these powerful ways to build relationships and therefore community!
I find so much value from this post, I lead a very tenured team with team members having 5-16 years within the role. I appreciate this article to help begin the conversion to identify if this is a cycle of burnout or something more. Thank you!
These are so empowering, while we can’t control what occurs around us, we can take charge as to how we will address it.
Excellent recommendations. I would simply have a collegial discussion to encourage my coworker to pull their weight as the rest of the team does. Sometimes lazy coworkers actually think they are doing a good job and need encouragement.
Great content. Everyone can use this info at some point in their career!
The sample seems insightful and thoughtful. Conflicts between co-workers are something I have inherited as a new manager. These have been challenging for me because I am finding it difficult to convey how to meet conflicts and find resolution when I am not directly involved or present. I am finding that some people have little interest to help a situation to move forward. Maybe some of these phrases will give me more tools to support my team.
Words matter and they are have the power to positively influence others. Good stuff!
This would be a great tool to use on young teams who struggle to see and value their coworker’s perspectives!
Great phrases! It’s also important to work on delivery tone. This blog comes at the perfect time. I am working with a Leadership Team on this very topic, would love a copy of the book!
Great insights! Much appreciated! ~Colleen
Another great read and thank you Dan for your insight on such topics. I look forward to receiving your daily messages.
Words of wisdom!