How Leaders Fail Introverts and 3 Strategies That Lead to Success
Introverts thrive when you adapt to their strengths.
I know better, but I screwed up a meeting with an introvert. Here’s the refresher I gave to myself afterward.
10 Ways Leaders Fail Introverts:
- Ask unexpected questions.
- Expect frequent social interaction.
- Hold surprise team-building exercises or impromptu meetings.
- Wait for them to speak first.
- Push them into spontaneous conversations.
- Call on them to speak publicly without preparation.
- Locate them in chaotic environments.
- Interrupt them frequently.
- Share new ideas openly in group settings.
- Force them into spotlight.
Bonus: Expect them to always work on teams.
The 3 Best Things You Can Do for Introverts:
#1. Provide think time before seeking input.
Extroverts love tossing around ideas because they think while they talk. Quiet people think before they speak. Don’t expect spontaneous input concerning new ideas and unexpected projects.
Send meeting agendas the day before meetings.
Ask the same questions habitually. For example, at the beginning of every one-on-one, ask, “What will make this meeting useful to you?” Recurring questions enable people to show up prepared.
Introverts thrive when they know what to expect.
#2. Allow reflection time before commitments.
Explain what you’re thinking about and why it matters. Make tentative decisions. Release pressure by allowing reflection time after conversations. Say, “Take some time to reflect. Let’s finalize these plans in a couple days.” Set a time to follow up.
#3. Use email.
Email allows autonomy.
Explain when you need a reply. If a reply isn’t forthcoming touch base in person. Learn about their boundaries and establish mutual accountability.
Tip: Pull quiet people out of the weeds occasionally so they can view the whole picture.
How do leaders fail introverts?
What are the best ways to maximize introverts on the team?
Still curious:
The Scariest Thing about Introverts
Managing Introverts: 11 Do’s and Don’ts – Insperity
Extroverted leaders assume that the norm is extroverted … at least up until more recently. Some of you most strategic thinkers are introverts. Some of your most intuitive people are introverts. Some of the best long-term planners are introverts. I would espouse that my “some” implies “most”, but I can’t prove that. While the extroverts are good at plowing ahead immediately … the introverts would be critical in thinking on how and where to plow ahead to. I’m an introvert. That’s normal and critical to any leader in any business for its best success!
Thanks for adding your insights, Michael. You remind me that we naturally judge others through ourselves. It takes maturity to learn people’s differences and not judge them as inadequate because things that are easy for us are difficult for them.
If you go by the classic definition of introvert as people who are drained by social interactions rather than energized, I’d add that requiring all-day team meetings (or worse, week-long retreats or training) without extended breaks for solitude and recharging.
Thanks, Ann. Sometimes leaders try to cram too much into retreats. My experience shows that adding time for quiet reflection and one-on-one conversations makes retreats more useful and energizing.
It seems strange to talk about introverts and if they were some kind of minority group requiring special treatment. Most studies show that approximately 50% of the population have a preference for introversion. The notion the introverts are quiet people who need to be pulled out of the weeds so that they can view the whole picture is a bit insulting. Although extraversion is more prevalent amongst corporate leaders, most leadership teams have members who are clearly introverts. Perhaps unsurprisingly, introverts tend to be over-represented in IT and Finance functions, and under-represented in HR and Marketing, especially at the most senior levels. Simplistic stereotypes are not helpful. That inspiring leader you just heard delivering a knock-out speech may very well be an introvert, as may the person who facilitated your week-end long retreat – they will just have used more of their energy in doing so.
Thank you, EC, for sharing your thoughts and for challenging the way we sometimes discuss introversion. You’re absolutely right—introverts aren’t a minority that requires special treatment, and they shouldn’t be defined in one lump group. While there are common characteristics associated with introversion, they certainly don’t apply uniformly to all who identify that way.
Adapting to people isn’t an insult. It’s respectful.
The idea that introverts are “quiet people who need to be pulled out of the weeds” can indeed be limiting and inaccurate. Many introverts excel at big-picture thinking. And it’s true that plenty of inspiring speakers and impactful leaders are introverts who have learned how to leverage their energy for high-impact activities.
Stereotypes can oversimplify. Introversion and extraversion are preferences, not boxes, and each person is far more than any single trait.
Thanks again for enriching the conversation.
Perhaps there is a nugget in the post that some find useful. You have my best.
I’m an introverted Pastor. Thank you for this post. I often need to tell a group I’m leading, that during discussions I’m not put off by silence. Culturally we abhor silence so people try to fill it. I tell people to wait. And I do get drained being with people. Love people, but drained by the interaction.
Thanks, Pete. It’s so true. Silence feels awkward. Here’s a thought. Encourage groups to jot down notes during silent times in the conversation. Provide a moment to explore points of clarity or ask questions. (Just a thought because I hate silence in groups too)
I tend to introversion. I’m glad you brought up that you love people. We shouldn’t confuse feeling drained by social interactions with disliking people. Cheers
Loved “pulled out of the weeds to see the whole picture” – as an introvert I can get into the details quite quickly and sometimes lose sight of the bigger picture or put too much detail into an area that really doesn’t need it. I appreciate those who pull me out and redirect my detailed-ness. I’m not offended by this – I know it is just me.
Thanks, Melissa. I’m writing to myself as much as anyone. I’m with you. I immediate drill down.
The conversation that inspired this post went right to the weeds, even though I had intended to focus on the purpose of the project. It takes discipline to rise up and get an energizing view that helps us appreciate the value of actionable items.
I also find that when we start with purpose, we discover new and interesting action items. When we start with action items we seem less creative.