Eliminate 7 Reasons for Unnecessary Conflict
Conflict is part of life; some are unnecessary.
7 reasons for unnecessary conflict:
#1. A need to be right means we can’t admit we’re wrong. So, there’s conflict. Admit when you’re wrong.
#2. Anger makes us stupid. Calm yourself.
#3. Power needs to be protected. Arguing is necessary when we love bossing. Stop dominating.
#4. Fear of upsetting someone allows small concerns to become heated issues. Manipulators get upset easily to silence insecure people. Be brave and kind.
#5. “Getting something off your chest” is for nincompoops. People who just want to get something off their chest want something. Just say what you want.
#6. Know-it-alls must defend themselves. Better a learn-it-all than a person who already knows.
#7. Lack of self-knowledge causes conflict. People feel a need to point out our faults when we refuse to see them. See your own faults. A Sanskrit proverb says:
Men soon the faults of others learn,
A few their virtues, too, find out;
But is there one–I have a doubt–
Who can his own defects discern?
How to eliminate unnecessary conflict:
#1. Lean toward letting go of things.
Balthasar Gracian said, “At the outset things can be easily settled… ‘Tis by no means the least of life’s rules: to let things alone.”
#2. If an issue keeps nagging at you, bring it up.
#3. If someone says, “Why didn’t you bring this up sooner?” say, “I wasn’t sure it was important to me.”
Note: When someone complains that you didn’t bring it up sooner, they’re inviting a second argument. It’s a separate issue.
#4. Focus on offenses a little – focus on the future a lot.
#5. Airing grievances for the sake of speaking your mind is for nincompoops. Never say, “I just want to get something off my chest.” If you bring it up, you want something.
Think about the conflicts you see around you. How many are unnecessary?
https://hbr.org/2021/08/how-to-work-with-someone-who-creates-unnecessary-conflict
“Peace is not the absence of conflict, but the ability to cope with it”. Mahatma Gandhi. Coping with, and dealing with conflict is an everyday occurrence. As a leader, we must be in control of how we respond to it. Thanks for the message.
Sometimes avoiding conflict makes matters worse. Skilled leaders make the most of conflict.
This speaks volumes. I have always advocated the idea of advanced forgiveness. Before the offence, forgiveness has already gone ahead. The acts thereafter don’t take me off-guard. Reminds me of the words of Jesus….let not your heart be troubled…John 14:27.
The idea that forgiveness is not earned but extended freely is a revolution for many. Bob Chapman taught me a similar truth. Trust is extended, not earned. It’s a challenging idea. Yes, we can unearn trust, but people often rise when they feel our trust. Thanks for adding a challenging idea.