When Sincerity Draws Blood
The Hippocratic Oath demands doctors do no harm. But medical history is filled with well-meaning efforts that damaged people. In the 1830’s Paris alone used 5 to 6 million leaches a year. Bloodletting began in ancient Egypt and continued until the 19th century.*
Ignorant sincerity is dangerous.
Dangerous Sincerity
I used to say, “I didn’t mean to hurt you,” when I hurt my wife’s feelings. The truth about “I meant no harm” is painful because it:
- Minimizes consequences.
- Offers explanation instead of empathy.
- Shifts attention from their pain to your motive.
Earnest leaders unintentionally sabotage themselves and others.
Intent matters. Impact matters more.
Good intentions don’t prevent damage; sometimes they amplify it.
Safe Sincerity
#1. Turn Intent into Growth
Acknowledge impact before intent. Ask, “How can I repair this?” Change behavior, not just language.
Be genuine, humble, and open:
- Conviction without humility is arrogant.
- Good intentions without wisdom prolongs harm.
#2. Invite Correction
Sincerity is tested with friction. Surround yourself with people who tell you when good intentions go bad. Ask, “How could this backfire?”
#3. Question Certainty
The more right you feel, the more wrong you could be. Delay decisions long enough to test assumptions. Confidence needs brakes.
#4. Seek Perspective
Step outside your echo chamber. What feels faithful in one setting may be foolish in another. Compare sincerity with results, not feelings.
Three Neglected Skills that Sabotage Sincere Leaders
*The history of bloodletting | British Columbia Medical Journal
Good read this morning! Can be practiced outside the office as well.
Thanks Audry. It seems that leadership principles apply to life in general.
So good. How can I make this right? What is the proof of my regret or sorrow for hurting another? What is appropriate restitution?
Makes me think about good intentions without action. Thanks, Pete.
“Shifts attention from their pain to your motive.” This one spoke to me today
I think about how the phrase “that’s not what I meant” moves straight into explanations and reasoning. It could miss listening to understand. It could skip over understanding the actual impact. That language could convey that the intended impact matter more than what’s happening to the person being listened to.
Thanks for the new lens to see that language and situation, and reminding me that impact matters more than intent.
Thanks, Brandon. I’m glad my wife and I resolved this. Now I see that’s it’s more than dumb to say, “that’s not what I meant,” or “I didn’t mean to,” it devalues the other person. It’s a pleasure to serve.
SAME!! As well as “intent is important but impact is more important”