Bumblehoof’s Blueprint for Success
Bob Bumblehoof loves his own brilliance. There’s nothing better than knowing you’re right.
If you’ve got it, flaunt it. Brilliant leaders, like peacocks, love fluffing their feathers. While drunk with delight in himself, Bob recorded his manual for leadership success.
Bumblehoof’s blueprint for success has eight points because seven is the number of perfection and Bob is better than perfection.
Blueprint for Success
#1. Obedience!
Always go by the book. Never shortcut a decision. Make everyone crawl through channels like a glorious bureaucratic obstacle course.
#2. Talk more!
Always talk more than others. Powerful people talk first, loud, and long. Repeat same point five times. If people look exhausted, you win.
Bonus: Give all the background before getting to the point.
#3. Committees!
Form committees for every decision. Eight members minimum. Bonus points if the donut budget has its own committee.
#4. Love Irrelevance!
Keep the spotlight on issues nobody cares about. Bob leads the Colored Paperclips Committee (currently surveying employees).
Wear people down with persistence.
#5. Haggle!
Always sweat the small stuff.
Argue over commas, semi-colons, and font size. Excellence lives in punctuation.
#6. Reopen old wounds!
Demonstrate your superiority by flaunting old hurts.
Never let anything go. Question past decision. Bring up disappointments from 2007. Explain how you went along but hated it.
#7. Emphasize Caution!
Never go fast. Remind them that embarrassment lurks behind failure. Victory is delay.
Success is avoiding failure.
#8. Pass the Buck!
Keep a list of every division in your organization. Prepare phrases like, “Marketing is holding us up.” If it isn’t marketing its sales. If you can’t blame HR, lay it on supervisors or managers.
Doubt jurisdiction. Doubt authority. Doubt everything except yourself.
What bumbling item can you add to Bob’s blueprint for success?
Which item on Bumblehoof’s Blueprint for Success can you use today?
If you dare:
7 Boring Things Successful Leaders Do That Failing Leaders Neglect
Effective Leadership: What Makes a Great Leader | Gallup
Hi Dan and all,
I love the idea that an actual, qualified, diary farmer concocts a corporate blunderer out of the steadiest (unless tipped?) and quite practical among our animal friends !
Personally I have a bit of Commodore Bumblehoof when it comes to font size etc. #5
But then again, highly suspect you’re way ahead of us in letting us contemplate and confront our inner BB’s
Wish you all a blessed and peaceful Thanksgiving
~C
Don’t tell anyone, but I can waste too much time looking for perfect fonts or most anything little detail that usually goes unnoticed by everyone else.
Good morning,
Also, make sure to hang a picture of yourself in everyone’s office space!
Happy Thanksgiving to all!
I thought you were going to say in the lobby. But in everyone’s office is just perfect! (And the lobby and the restrooms.)
The key to a successful outcome is the three Bs: boring, brief, and benign.
My favorite is benign. Use your voice but try to say nothing while doing so.
Wishing you a very happy and bountiful Thanksgiving! Thank you for your sage writings every day! I am thankful for your messages! Enjoy and indulge!
Another point – Belittle and dismiss other people’s expertise and experience. You know more than them anyway!