The “Show Me” Shift

My granddaughter loves strawberry glazed donuts from Dunkin’. While enjoying one, she played with her phone under the table. I was inclined to ask her to put it away.

Instead, I asked, “What are you playing?”  She said it was a make-up game.

I said, “Could you show me how you do that?” I leaned in and learned how to choose and mix colors. One swipe changed an eyelid’s color. “That’s pretty cool.”

On the way home I asked, “Next time, will you show me how to do that?”

Instead of correcting, ask, “What’s happening under the table?”

Show Me

Relational leadership replaces control with curiosity.

Enforcers make rules. Partners build rapport.

Choose engagement before instruction. Understanding before judgment.

Be a novice to build another’s status.

Results are essential. Relationships make results sustainable.

Curiosity Checklist

Curiosity is an open door.

#1. What are you working on?

#2. Could you tell me more about…?

#3. What do you call that?

Partnership Checklist

Partnership builds trust.

#1. How did you learn how to do that?

#2. What’s the hardest part of doing that?

#3. What do you enjoy about that?

#4. Could you show me how to do that?

Your easiest challenge is results. The neglected challenge is relationships.

Judgment ends influence; curiosity extends it.

How could you show up as a beginner today?

Which of the above questions could you use today?

I interviewed a former CEO of Dunkin’: Hired at 25 – Fired at 35: The Turning Point for the CEO of Dunkin’ Donuts

Fearful Leaders Hoard Control – Courageous Leaders Give Power

How I Learned To Connect With People from Maxwell Leadership