Don’t Poke a Toxic Boss
The most important relationship at work is with your boss.
You can’t defeat a toxic boss with resistance.
How to Manage a Toxic Boss
#1. Don’t turn your boss into an enemy.
Contempt multiplies toxicity. Don’t poke the bear. Build a bridge where you can.
Focus on their strengths even when their weaknesses drive you nuts.
#2. Turn resentment into initiative.
You resent the boss’s heavy-handed approach. Don’t pull away. Over-communicate. Send unrequested updates.
- Here’s where we are.
- Here’s what’s happening next.
- Here’s the issue I’m watching.
- I’ll update you again Friday.
Silence invites interference.
#3. Lighten their load.
Pressure sets a toxic boss on fire.
Ask:
- What could I take off your plate?
- How could I make life easier for you?
Don’t add to troubles. Subtract them.
#4. Adapt to their style.
If they hate details, get to the point. Give the bottom line.
If they’re disorganized, create plans they can use.
If your boss is lazy, get things done anyway. Don’t wait for them.
A Final Encouragement
Don’t try to fix a toxic boss. Don’t complain to HR unless they’re violating policy, doing something unethical or illegal.
Manage yourself.
You thrive in life when you thrive under less-than-ideal circumstances.
You can’t choose your boss. You can choose who you become.
What does managing up mean to you?
Jerk-Holes are Better than Sugar Peeps – Leadership Freak
Read: How to Lead When Your Boss Can’t (or Won’t) by John Maxwell
Most of all plan on leaving the job. This boss will never be fixed and will drive you crazy your entire life. Why hurt yourself your family and everyone around you by being mad with a toxic boss spend that energy finding another job
I totally agree with you! I was in that situation at one point and time, it was awful and the worst experience of my 33 years. I was so happy when I found a new job and had a “wonderful” boss that was truly great and appreciated all of her employees.
It is often said that people don’t quit jobs but instead leave bad bosses. If you are in a leadership position, look at your peers and step up before you lose good people. And look in a mirror to make sure you aren’t the one driving those good people away.
Looking in the mirror is harder than blaming others. And not as much fun, either.
And describing a boss as toxic is easier than looking in the mirror. Many of the people I’ve seen described as toxic are actually humans (as opposed to bosses). They have weaknesses and strengths. Just like me. How much of the toxicity in the relationship comes from my unacknowledged expectations?
Sometimes you need to stop focusing on fault and focus on collaboration or maximizing our strengths as a partnership. When I stop labeling people as toxic, I find them much easier to work with. Odd, how that works.
Their lack of attention to detail maybe a place where I can step up and thrive without competing for the same territory. Conversely, I can let them be the public face that I don’t want to be.
I had to leave a toxic work environment, not due to the boss but the staff. It was the best thing that I ever did. I have been in my current position for 20 years and had 5 “bosses” and not a bad one in the bunch. I have taken away a lot from all of them. They are awesome coaches and I can take any problem I am dealing with to them.
Congratulations, bg. Drucker taught that one purpose of an organization is to compensate for the weaknesses of others and maximize their strengths. It sounds like you are experiencing the satisfaction of working in that kind of place.
Leaving can be hard. We don’t like to “quit”. But if we think of it as beginning better, maybe it’s easier.
What if the boss is indeed toxic as in lying frequently, changing the work descriptions and deadlines at will as they are just hired due to some good network but for most part incompetent at best and evaluating and questioning everything you say and then dismissing it and later presenting that same knowledge elsewhere as their own.. how long to fight, if they have the hand of god (upper management) over them ?