Five things that tick me off!
I’m declaring this “Whining Wednesday,” again. About 7 months ago I had great fun getting a few things off my chest. Many readers enjoyed adding their own irritations to my list.
Don’t bother offering to help. I’m not looking for solutions. I’m just whining.
Five things that tick me off (or at least irritate me):
- Over the top gushy emotion – ugh!
- Drama – Deal with it and move on.
- Those going nowhere criticizing those working to go somewhere – lead follow or get out of the way.
- People who don’t say what they really think – just stop talking.
- Loooonnnnngggg boring meetings that are tightly controlled – send an email or write a book, sheesh!
What ticks you off?
What’s the burr under your saddle, stone in your shoe, or tack in your chair? Feel free to post under a false name. Go ahead, take a walk on the dark side.
If one of my irritants is one of yours, write it anyway – misery loves company.
Self-reflection.
Exploring your irritations opens the backdoor to understanding your values.
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Here are the results from the last time we had “Whining Wednesday.”
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All of the above… short, sharp and simple! Love it!
Thanks Bernadette.
You know, Dan, I suspect if you went to anger management class they’d be working with you on how to get angrier. You’re much too nice. That’s my gripe.
Hey Jeremy, don’t make me angry! Seriously, your comment made me smile. thanks, Dan
Hi Dan, so we are whining yet once more, hmmm, Tell me Dan other than blowing off steam does it do any good? I am all for clearing the air pipes and hitting the bell, and yes every so often someone heeds the noise and comes to the rescue. My issue is having to deal with the few CAVE dwellers with all of their complaining and perrenial continually pessimistic virtually against everything attitude. To paraphrase one of your bullets “those that can’t or won’t should stop interrupting those of us that are.” Bottom line I am whining about all the whiners that do it incessantly. As Jeremy states you are too much of a nice guy so I don’t mind your rare whining moments. 🙂
Hi Al,
Stop whining about me bringing up whining “yet” again. 7 months is enough hiatus from whining. 🙂
Frankly, I think your whine is a great one.
Best,
Dan
How many do I get?
1. People who stand in the way of progress, while flying the banner of “that’s how we have always done it,” while CLEARLY “it” has not been working
2. People who lie to protect themselves, even when they know they are trapped.
People who make empty promises that they know they cannot keep, or the resources to pull the promises off.
3. Leaders who cannot lead or administrate
4. People who can’t say “No.” They say “Yes” to everything, and wonder why they feel overwhelmed
5. Bullies
6. People who ask for suggestions and never follow through
People who chose to stay stuck; ask for help, but really ONLY want to wallow and whine, so they can ask for the same help again later
7. Users- people who only call when they need something, usually money
8. And probably my personal favorite, people who purposely waste my time.
Thanks Dan, now back to doing the best we can with what we are given, working to make progress one tiny step at a time.
Hi Martina,
Love how you end your “whine” beautiful!
Dan
..anything that follows “..I deserve…”
oooo entitlement thinking… bingo
Dan, I can get into this.
1.) People who do not have a sense of urgency (you have to ask them 5 times over 5 weeks to get the same thing done).
2.) People that do not give feedback (particularly when 1 above is the problem as they are not even communicating why there is no progress).
Feel better already!
I’m with you Thabo, a little whining goes a long way! Thanks for jumping in. Somehow it makes me feel good to read your whining! 🙂
3. Those going nowhere criticizing those working to go somewhere – lead follow or get out of the way.
4. People who don’t say what they really think – just stop talking.
– Customer Care Service that don’t care…
– Inefficacity in process and people that see the problem and don’t do a thing to get things go better, but are willing to put effort to block you when you do it.
People who think they know, when clearly they don’t.
(thanks, Dan, that felt good)
Hi Dan – Based on #1 and #2, you would not last long in my house (2 young daughters = lots of drama!)
Steve
“Leaders” who hire experts to their staff, then ignore their input when they try and better the team/project based on their experience.
For me . . .
Legacy thinkers – brain stuck in the past.
Life’s Eeyores – gloomy no matter what happens.
People who have to win conversations.
I am quite accepting of personal value systems and or someone with a philosophy conduct, but a couple of things that come to mind are;
1. Being intentionally mislead / set up to fail
2. Public criticism followed by a private apologies
Can’t do it to others and hate when it happens to me.
1. To repeat your Looonnnnggggg boring meetings that are tightly controlled… and I’ll add that turn into a “bash Administration” session. Not healthy and definitely a poor example of Leadership. Plus a waste of time.
2. All the above.
Thanks for the vent…
I am frustrated by…
1. People who know and agree what the problem is but won’t do what is needed to fix it.
2. People who want to do something (initiative, pilot, etc.) that was done in the past because they believe it will magically work now that they are in charge.
Yesterday I put a quote on my desk in large type, strategically placed for all to see. The quote reads, ‘He has a right to criticize, who has a heart to help.’ by A. Lincoln. That was my message to many of the people you are referring to in your post. I think we were on the same page yesterday.
Wish you would be more clear about what you don’t like, Dan
😉
1. CC email bandits. They start and continue email chains slowly roping in a large group of people who are no longer really following the conversation but randomly jump in to try to stop the email chain.
2. People who do not come to meetings with informed POVs. Read, internalize, and know your material to create your POV- that’s your job.
3. People who only think externally. I have to go on the roller coaster of their thinking because they didn’t think before the meeting.
4. People who can’t say no or prioritize. Everything is NOT a burning issue- ever heard of the boy who cried wolf?
5. People who are whipping boys for their bosses. They never challenge or engage in a conversation. When they do try to share their POV they look at their boss repeatedly for assurance.
I always say save the drama for your momma! That is one of the things that frustrates me as well. Also, the lack of common sense these days astounds me on a daily basis!
Dear Dan,
When people dont take decision, that ticks me off. There are so many things that tick me off. Repeated complainers, criticisers and flatterers etc. People who always hold others responsible and boast about themselves, speaking soft to please everyone with well intention not to help anyone. Mostly selfish motive people tick me off. I think they are like parasite who damage self, organisation and society.
Spewing ideas with poor execution and attention to detail.
The nails on the proverbial chalkboard for me is the phrase “project leadership.” It’s so pervasive I catch myself using it at times, and then it really bothers me. You can’t lead a project. You manage a project. You lead the team. The mistaken notion that one person gets to lead stops so many others short of finding fulfillment in the workplace.
People who think that the reason it’s raining is because they’ve planned a parade. C’mon, just suck it up. Life happens. Move on.
Dan,
1) Rudeness and inconsideration; I am sure it has become epidemic. It is so common place, it has become the “norm”.
2) Cellphones: I can’t even go to a quiet park , the library, fishing, the public restroom without someone on their cellphone. Either aware or unaware of how loud they are talking. Everyone can hear what you are talking about and why do you want everyone to hear your conversation?
Kari
Outsourcing major initiatives. In the time it takes to explain our business, processes, and hold their hand through the project, you could’ve just done it yourself (and saved a boatload of money in the process!).
Amen.
1. People who “commit” to something, but then every distraction in the world keeps them from honoring their commitment
2. Any sentence that begins with “The way we used to do it…” and ends with “let’s do it that way again”
3. People who expect a leader to be able to anything and everything, and don;t use their gifts and talents
4. Most importantly (tongue in cheek), coming in to the office on Monday, having been out of town the previous week, to discover the coffee pot quit working 🙂
Thanks
I really liked the Life’s Eeyore’s entry, I live with one and it really ticks me off, especially when my daughter is being influenced by it!
Irritating laughs. Sometimes it is just “one of those things” – for some reason that individual’s laugh just doesn’t sit right, especially when you are trying to concentrate.
But there are times when it is a nervous habit, irritating in its volume and shrillness, and so noticeable that it stands in the way of a person’s professional reputation. And THAT’s not a laughing matter.
Hands down: meetings that are a waste of time. I agree with your statement above: if you have announcements to make, send an email. Otherwise, keep it lively, focused, and timely. Thanks!
But Dan, how is this column different from your columns of…
Moaning Mondays
Ticked off Tuesdays
Tempermental Thursdays
Futile Fridays
Sniveling Saturdays
Snarky Sundays
My irritation: People without a sense of humor, fun and who have lost their childlike love of life!
Doc, I love this! (only, I think it’s Thempermental Thursdays – but don’t quote me)
May each day be full of childlike wonder.
I am with Scott – wherever the line is forming for “Maintenance of Childlike Wonder,” I want to be in it!
Hey Doc, why limit yourself and not break down the days into morning blues, afternoon rantings, evening doldrums and nightmare sleep nights! 🙂
By the way I thought being and acting like a child was a prerequisite for leadership positions? Don’t we run around, ask about everything, play innocent, and sometimes hopefully rarely bully things? (Lord of the Flies-It’s been a while.) No off limit questions for a child and some of the child responses indeed can be tantalizing. “What do you want to be when you grow up? answer: Taller. I am a child at heart and will remain so until someone tells me otherwise. Best. 🙂
I know leaders who play hide and seek with their teams.
Childish does not equal Childlike.
Touche Scott, ouch, 🙂
1) “It was an accident” replacing “I made a mistake”.
2) Opinions expressed as statements of fact.
3) Multiple user ids/reference no’s for one thing (are you listening HMRC?).
4) Rules that undermine principles.
and, for today (hopefully) only
5) The builders hammering outside my office window!
1. People who send out repeat tweets constantly. Stop it!
2. People who tweet quotes and wisdom as their own rather than attributing it to the originator. Show some respect!
3. People who follow you then stop following you because you don’t follow them. Are we in the playground?!
4.) There is no 4. I feel better already. 🙂
5.) Maybe I don’t get this Twitter thing?
Thanks for the opportunity to rant.
Gary Dunstan.
1. Whining people.
2. Folks who let others do the thinking for them and then take it as gospel (talk radio junkies as an example).
3. Lazy people in general.
4. Drama queens – get a life!
5. Aimless meetings with no true point or decisions made.
1. Bosses who can’t tell the difference between hardworkers and suckers.
2. People who are inconsiderate of your time.
Dan –
Thanks for the opportunity to laugh at myself – for having been on both sides of all those things you mentioned – and the ability to recognize that I have been on both sides of those things you’ve mentioned! When we know better, we do better.
The “serial so.” I wrote about it here: http://waytenmom.blogspot.com/2010/07/sew-needle-pulling-thread-actually.html
A certain board president who writes a big check once a year, but never comes to any programs or events. At meetings he acts as if he knows how things work for the organization and the best ways to move forward. He negates the ideas of staff who are there everyday!
Roommates who eat my food and leftovers (not strictly work-related, but I’m sure there are people who can relate.)
This is great! Here are a few of mine in random order:
1. Public chastisement of many for the error of few
2. Parking lot meeting leaders
3. The entitlement police
4. Those whose words speak louder than their actions
5. People who quote and name drop research they have clearly never read
6. People who start sentences with, “But in the real world…”
7. Joy killers who need to find a different profession and rediscover happiness.
8. Meetings focused on the trivial rather than the important meaningful work that mission, vision values and goals have determined!
Dan,
I’ve got 2 things that really bug me:
– People who say they’re going to do something and don’t. I think your word is very precious and shouldn’t be taken lightly.
– People who only want to complain and never want to do anything to make the situation better. Sometimes you just have to get things off your chest, but when it goes on for months, sometimes years, enough already.
Thanks for letting me rant.
Connie
I don’t like injustice:
• People lying and thinking that the person/people that they are lying to is/are too stupid to realise
• Senior leaders off loading their stress through anger and bullying onto the people working for them or displaying inexplicable prejudice especially against the weak and inexperienced
• Meetings called (especially on a repetitive basis) with no reason or decision attached to them
• Leaders constantly prevaricating and changing plans because they themselves are unsure – why can’t they stand back, take a deep breath, review the situation and make a decision relying on the facts available?
• People who pay lip service to things such as “valuing their people” but who won’t actually make the time and effort required to be a good leader and who constantly put others down in an attempt to make themselves look better
I am nowhere near perfect but I do try not to do the above.
hello Dan
What tick me off is when people instead of talking straight forward talks round about. Whats so big deal in saying the actual story rather creating confusion and adding to irritation. I get tick off when people have so many layers on their face & it becomes almost impossible to identify the real face. When people promise & don’t fulfill It tick me off. Oh yes how can I stop without saying which is ticking me off these days the most is when bosses don’t try to see the potential & dedication of their hardworking employee but value most the flattery words and behavior of those non working & less dedicated employees.
I get tick off the most due to my own lack of will power. I promise each day to self for not doing certain things but so far I couldn’t able to do so.
Thanks.
1. Those “35 years as a Christian and still needs to grow” before they will lift their voice in witness. Grow up already.
2. Leaders who like titles more than action.
1) When new hires complain, “I was never actually trained!” or demand a training manual. Actually, this doesn’t tick me off so much as sadden me that no one tells kids sooner that formal training rarely exists unless you’re becoming a waiter at Bennigan’s;
2) Whipped cream parading as cake frosting;
3) When people refuse to look out for their own self interests and then they complain when no one else does it for them;
4) When people pronounce Latin like it’s Italian; and
5) People who default to rude/defensive instead of starting off situations by being nice.
It feels good to get that out. I’ve been thinking about the cake frosting thing for the last two weeks. Thanks, Dan!
OK, I find myself agreeing with many of these, so I can keep my list relatively short:
1. Liars.
2. Cheaters.
3. Blamers
4. Naysayers
5. Dream Squashers
6. Bullies.
7. Whiners
Teehee!~
Great list. Ditto.
So awesome. Any comment I could write will only get me in trouble. Thanks, Dan!
Love this- I agree with the one above- no sense of urgency or when you have to ask for the same thing more than 3 times- pet peeve. People who don’t push their chairs in when they leave the room and those who don’t have any manners.
People who lie
People who take advantage of the elderly
People who abuse children or animals
Crooked police officers
I see stupid people
Whiners and Suck-Ups.
The pettiness of politicians leading to a Minnesota government shutdown!
1. People who don’t listen.
2. People who make excuses.
3. People who don’t do what they say they will do.
4. …and then have a litany of obstacles to recite.
5. Rude, disloyal and disgenuine behavior.
I can go along with that
My major irritant is nebulous parasites who survive by taking credit for the creativity, effort and work of others. These people exist in both the public and private sector. They all seem to be survivors but never do anything or contribute anything.
People who do the same thing over and over and expect different results!
The things that I hate and disturb my mental equilibrium.
1. Bosses who are position conscious and would not like to make others grow.
2. Management which boasts of following professionalism and ethics are not fair to its own staff.
3. Conservative people who do not think beyond and always play safe.
4. Deliberate trouble-shooters and back-biters.
5. Procrastination and non-committal attitude.
Keeping a distance and acting tough could be possible ways to reamin focused and productive.
Dear Dr. Mrunal Asher.
I appreciate your points. Absolutely true. Your statement shows your courage and daring to say realities. People have become so much position centric today, that they can do anything and everything. They boast to create positive impression but fail to understand that sooner people see their real face, they lose respect and reliability for ever. And this loss can not be regained either by money or position.
Warm Regards
Ajay
I can tolerate quite a bit, but lack of communication is harder for me to get past… especially when a lack of it hurts the innocent who had nothing to do with the communication.
Reactive vs proactive mindsets really burns me! Doesn’t everyone know the definition of insanity yet or do we have to rediscover it at every turn. Rinse & repeat only works in the shower successfully!
Leaders who say they are “Christians” but live otherwise, it is so far for me most irritating! hehehe…makes me think sometime if God is really true!
People who wait until Friday to night to respond to the “Wednesday” Whining opportunity. Oh…wait…….
🙂
Those who think just because they are alive they are entitled to all that is with no contribution of their own..man that pisses me off…..