13 Beliefs That Hold You Back
Failure begins with self-limiting beliefs.
13 Beliefs that Hold You Back:
- Wisdom always feels right. If feelings were always right, failure would be extinct.
- Ineffective behaviors eventually become effective.
- Negative people aren’t that dangerous.
- Authenticity is an excuse to reject wise counsel.
- Clarity comes through speculating about problems.
- Control is the answer.
- You need more time.
- Good intentions change things.
- Leaders have all the answers.
- Receiving help is a sign of weakness.
- It needs to be right the first time. Perfectionism destroys potential.
- Simplicity and clarity come easy.
- Life-long friends will help you reach new heights. (Don’t jettison old friends; add new.)
13 beliefs that lift you high:
- Belief is only a beginning. Focus on behaviors.
- Curiosity takes you further than knowledge. Smart people ask questions. The dumbest person in the room is the one who always knows.
- Small is big. Breakthroughs happen while people are doing small things.
- Everything you tell yourself about others is only partially true.
- Real clarity happens as you step out.
- The shortest distance to the ocean is also the most difficult.
- The thing you think is final, isn’t.
- Serving is seldom convenient. Do it anyway.
- Strengths aren’t excuses for tolerating weaknesses and self-limiting behaviors.
- Listening makes you smarter. Talk much much much less. (For extroverts.)
- Others might be right and you might be wrong. Go with their gut when:
- Values align.
- Goals are clear and shared.
- Everyone has the same information.
- They have a track-record.
- Try something. Waiting doesn’t take you far.
- The people around you reflect your future. Choose them with vision in mind.
What belief holds you back?
What belief has most enriched your leadership?
Coaching-leaders clarify and align beliefs.
I’m delighted to partner with Clarity Development Consulting to offer the proven “Coaching for Engagement” program. Drop me an email if you’d like to explore having Bob Hancox and me come to your organization to begin developing a coaching culture in your organization.
The people around you reflect your future. Choose them with vision in mind. Very well stated. Those who are going no where, will take you there.
Thanks Ron. “Those who are going no where, will take you there.” KaPow… 🙂
As you share and inspire leadership each day, taking decisions and risks are critical in making things happen.
Per Antoine De Saint Exupery: “If you want to build a ship, don’t drum up people to collect wood and don’t assign them tasks and work, but rather teah them to long for the endless immensity of the sea.”
Keep your pieces flowing………..Paul
Good ideas. But I read good / bad in both the bad and the good, so I am thinking that few of these are absolute truths and most are those kinds of things requiring balance and perspective. Sometimes the shortest distance to the ocean IS the best path and other choices get you wandering in the dunes with the sand crabs.
Keep up the thought-provoking stuff. Reflection is also very useful.
“Yes, there are two paths you can go by, but in the long run
There’s still time to change the road you’re on”
Led Zeppelin, Stairway to Heaven
Thanks Dr. Scott. The term “proverb” came to mind as I read your comment. These are general truths not absolute. Like most everything I write. Someone said, “There’s an exception to everything, even this statement.”
“Breakthroughs happen while people are doing small things”
This is so right. Many big scientific advances don’t start with “eureka” moments, they start with “that’s odd, what’s going on here/it doesn’t normally do that” moments. The trick is seeing that these are the cracks that allow you to split something wide open!
Thanks Mitch. That’s one of my favorites in the list. Stop waiting for big perfect solutions. Make small behavioral changes. Cheers
Dan, the other thing my peers and I have found to be vital is to develop your discrimination, so that when you see something like this, you don’t just automatically knee-jerk to “Wrong! Do it again!” mode, but look and ask yourself, and (importantly) the person who carried it out “Why did it do this, it is telling us something, can we use it?” You might be on the verge of a breakthrough, or it might just be something that saves you the least little bit of work in the future. Either way, if you can get the person who did it to think about it and not be too frightened to come to you, because they know you’ll work with them, not hand out a telling-off, you’ve succeeded.
Such a great post!!! (Sounds like a broken record… NOT!) The first list (Beliefs that hold you back) fit politicians so very well and explain our statewide and national absurdities. The second list is what politicians will tell you they are all about – BUT they haven’t a clue… It is what they should / they could / they must do to become a relevant world player again!!!
Thanks John. The thing I love about leadership topics is they fit into so many contexts, politics, family, education, health care, manufacturing, sports… You name it!
Thanks for the good word and for the times that you add, extend, or offer alternatives. 🙂
Good morning Dan;
This is a really great list of ’13 beliefs that hold you back.’ I especially like no# 3 as I work in what is probaly one of the most ‘Negative’ and dangerous enviroments I can think of. As you are aware, I am a 20 year veteran of the Pa. Dept. of Correction. Working in a Maximum Security Prison can is as negative and more so, than would exspect.
Attitudes are like a virus, they are contagious. Anyone who works in an enviroment of negativity would benefit greatly from adopting some healthy lifestlye changes to address, and dispose of deteriorating sideffects of negativity.
My advice, begin the habit of responding to negativity with a positive rersponce. It won’t take long till you see welcome change in employees attitude. Once again, it’s worth repeating, ‘attitudes are contagious’.
When organizations adopt become thius philosophy people become ‘infected with positivity’.
This ios when great things begin to happen…
Hi great article, thank you for posting. Can you help me understand no. 4 “Authenticity is an excuse to reject wise counsel”. What do you mean by this? Can you offer an example? Apologies for being slow.
Thank you Dylan. Great questions. I’ve seen people use, “I’ve got to be me,” or, “That’s not who I am,” as an excuse to continue doing things that don’t work. I’ve also seen people use those expressions to reject wise counsel.
I’ll use myself as an example. It has taken me years to get to the place of listening to counsel that, at first, doesn’t make sense or feel right. It’s important to step into discomfort if we want to grow.
Hope that helps.
Thanks for the reply Dan. I now understand. Insightful stuff.
4.Authenticity is an excuse to reject wise counsel.
I’m not sure I understand this one…could you expand a bit? Thanks!
I’m sure Dan will answer as well. My take: If your version of what’s authentic differs from that of the “wise counsel,” it will likely be rejected and the “diversity” of thinking will be lost, holding you back.
Ah – OK, that makes sense. Thanks!
Thank you Katie. Great question. My response to Dylan, just above your comment, may give you something to mull over.
This is great – I want to print it out and put it somewhere I can read it everyday. Thanks.
Thank you Ollie.
Love #8 – Serving is seldom convenient; do it anyway. Thanks, Dan, for helping me expand my personal set of core values! This one’s a keeper and one that I’ll teach to others.
Thanks Jo-Ann. My wife and I often look at each other when opportunities to serve come up. It seems there is always something else to do. 🙂
What belief holds me back? the thoughts that ‘other’ businesses are successful & I cannot attain that.
What belief has most enriched your leadership? The belief that people matter. Period. It’s all about them!
Oops, I answered the question on my own and not from your list 🙂 I did, however, choose the ones that stood out to me (from your list) on LinkedIn 🙂