5 Coaching Tips for Internal Coaches From Internal Coaches
I asked a team of internal coaches, “What advice would you give aspiring coaches?” These are people who navigate traditional job responsibilities and coach employees as well.
I’ve been working with some of the team for a little over a year. Others have been part of the process for about six months. Many have been internal coaches for several years.
I asked them to reflect on their whole coaching experience and offer advice to internal coaches.
5 coaching tips for internal coaches from internal coaches:
#1. Stay curious.
- Sincere forward-facing curiosity drives the coaching process. You aren’t a therapist digging into the past.
- Resist the temptation to give quick suggestions. You know the answer for you. Be curious about the answer for them.
- Develop a few go-to questions.
- Tell me more about that.
- What’s the next step?
- And what else?
#2. Be honest with your feelings.
- When something doesn’t feel right, say, “Something doesn’t feel right. I’m wondering about … ?
- Hot emotion often indicates your inner control freak is trying to control someone.
- “It feels to me like you’re getting frustrated. What’s going on for you?”
(You might like to know these suggestions come from scientists and technical consultants.)
#3. Be direct.
- Say what you see. When there is hesitation, success, low/high energy, lack of follow-through, or inconsistency, point it out.
- Know you’re helping. Remember that direct feedback is the feedback that most helped you.
- Prepare coachees by saying, “I’m going to give you very direct feedback.”
- Explore the difference between intention and impact. Most people don’t intend to shoot themselves in the foot.
#4. Practice patience.
Coaching is a process.
- Don’t coach when issues are pressing.
- Patience applies when you see progress.
- Lack of progress indicates it’s time to change something.
#5. Be timely. Coach in the moment. Don’t wait two weeks for the coaching appointment.
Which suggestions seem most important to you? Why?
What advice might you give internal coaches?
Dan a couple thoughts on Internal Coaches.
First although it is great that so many firms are setting up formal internal Coaching or Mentoring programs, I believe it is best, whenever possible, to allow the mentee to choose the mentor not to have it assigned by Human Resources.
Second coaches need to build Trust in the relationship. That usually requires several meetings and the ability to create a confidential relationship.
Happy Holidays!
Brad
Brad James, The Business Zoo
Thanks Brad. I’ve seen organizations grapple with pairing people. Thanks for your suggestion.
Trust is definitely core to success. What happens when a coachee is honest about an issue? Are they coached or punished?
Brad, I couldn’t agree more with your second comment. I think formal coaching or mentoring programs can work – when Trust is developed first. Companies that don’t necessarily have a formal internal coaching or mentoring program may still require the managers to “coach”. Any type of coaching is only effective once trust has been established. And as you stated, that requires a level of connection that takes time to develop.
Make it a successful 2017!
Erin
From a coaching standpoint, I like the ” I know you can do” approach works for me. There are workers I have will always tell me “we can’t get thus done today” pessimistic as they are and they end of the day? Yes we finished the project.
From that experience I’ve learned to say, “I didn’t say you have to get it done today” , but “if you do” the customer would really appreciate this, because they need it work sooner than later.
In our business trusting my workers comes first for me, which in turn “builds our inner circle of confidence in themselves” which is critical for growth with what they truly can accomplish.
I’m going to go out in a limb here. ANY type of choaching is useless if the one doing the choaching has zero, nada, no experience or success in what they are trying to convey. I sat in a meeting once listening, waiting for a positive note. In the end we were told how they failed in the task by not taking into account what was really needed. I asked myself the question; if you failed in your mission, why are you here? Anybody can fail, however, not everybody can be a success. I want success, I don’t want to fail. A less than a one hundred word paragraph can state why failer happenes but books are written on how to succeed. I agree with Brad James. Let the mentee choose the mentor. One who desires to be successful, should be open to be mentored. Success will breed success, as will a good and successful mentor will produce a successful disciple. Too much hype on choaching from those who have no proven track record. Waste of time and resources.
Dan, I don’t know if it’s a cultural thing, but in the UK if you hear:
“I’m going to give you very direct feedback.”,
You prepare yourself to be berated, belittled, have your intelligence/integrity/parentage questioned and generally be insulted. In general, “feedback” is a polite way of saying “bollocking”.
Any suggestions on dealing with an entirely negative perception (usually based on experience) of the whole process?
I like item 1 under stay curious as coaching is always about moving forward. Where the past is sometimes helpful is in removing obstacles to success. We often have non-productive patterns that need to be elevated in awareness so that the coaches can begin to build new replacement behaviours.
As an internal coach I think there is a lot of wisdom here, Eric deHaan’s research indicates that the most significant indicator of success in coaching is the client’s view of the coaching relationship, this can be measured as soon as the end of the second session.
The things that I do that seem to add a great deal of value to the person I am working with: whilst challenge is important, I think that you can only do that in a wider context where you have really seen the person you are working with and offered them the kind of feedback that is specific, genuine and bolsters their confidence. Also giving them as much agency in the process as possible. Finally I think that the process often generates a lot of emotions, positive and negative, and I see my role as to be compassionate with those emotions.
Thanks for an insightful post, Dan. From my experience, internal coaching teams need to be created and administered by people who understand the organisation well, but who are not closely identified with the HR function. I work in HE, and a lot of change is occurring currently across a significant number of institutions. Where coaching is perceived as somehow ‘independent’ of HR and seen as part of Learning & Development (as a ‘reward’ for excellence whatever the grade of staff, and something to be valued/aspired to by all), institution-wide it is accepted positively and the coach doesn’t have to overcome barriers of disbelief or even hostility. However, where coaching is known to be an HR/institutional agenda to single out those judged to need ‘remedial work’, no-one trusts it and a coach is caught up in a negative spiral of suspicion. Coaches need to understand the context in which they are working, and be sensitive to the ‘politics’ – even though in the coaching relationship itself they will focus keenly on the coachee and not prejudge the situation… Quite a balancing act!