The Listening Sandwich and Inspiring Others
Banter provides relational energy but don’t focus on yourself.
People enjoy hearing leaders talk about themselves as long as they don’t talk about themselves all the time.
The listening sandwich:
- Show interest in others.
- Share a bit about yourself (Banter).
- Show interest in others again.
A leader told me his word for 2018 is “Care”. We practice the “One Word” principle described in the book of the same name.
Instead of asking him a series of questions, I shared a bit of myself, “My word for 2018 is “Book”. For a moment, the conversation turned toward me.
When banter turns ugly:
Banter turns ugly when it becomes a monologue about yourself.
Inspiring leaders make conversations about others. Yes, share a bit of yourself. Let people know what you think. But a series of machine-gun-questions makes people wonder what you’re after.
Banter lowers barriers.
From banter to curiosity and inspiration:
Banter – sharing a bit of yourself – sets people at ease.
I have questions about “Care” for my friend. The fact that he knows my “word” establishes a connection point as long as we discuss BOTH words.
I want to inspire my friend as he “cares” in 2018. The questions I have for him don’t feel like an inquisition because he knows my word.
Curiosity strengthens connection, nurtures humility, and inspires others.
- You’re already a caring leader. How did you happen to choose “Care” as your word for 2018?
- What’s important about caring?
- How will you take your Care-game to the next level?
- How’s your care-game going?
Because he knows my word, curiosity about his word is vulnerability for me.
How might leaders employ the listening sandwich?
When is sharing about yourself out of line for leaders? Too much?
Endnote: Yesterday, Jon Gordon, author of, “The Power of Positive Leadership,” gave me permission to title a chapter, “Energy Vampires.”
Love your One Word for 2018! First time I have heard Book as someone’s One Word. Why did you choose Book?
Also, love the Listening Sandwich. I need to eat this sandwich daily to grow strong as a leader in 2018!
Still searching and praying for my 2018 One Word. It always comes – even after 18 years of doing it. Loved my 2017 word – EXTRA. When I love, serve and care a little EXTRA, it turns the ordinary into EXTRAordinary.
Thanks for challenging me every day! Your daily articles have been transformational!
Thanks Dan. Great hearing from you today. Love your book, One Word!
I chose book because I’m going to finish a book in 2018. I could have chosen “write”. But there is a big difference between write and book. I’ve demonstrated that difference for several years now by writing everyday but not producing a book. 🙂
Thanks for the insight on EXTRA and EXTRAordinary. Very cool.
Best for 2018. If you get a chance, drop a note with your word for 2018.
Looking forward to your book. Cheers
I’m choosing “make” this year, “make” more time for my family, “make” more time for my fellow workers, “make” myself available, “make” the world a better place!
Thanks Tim. I look forward to seeing what you make of 2018. 🙂
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