How a Jerk Revealed Her Purpose
On November 20, 2011, I had a car accident that landed me in the hospital for several weeks.
I received a menu from food services every morning. But I was busy doing other things. I didn’t fill mine out.
Purpose in a menu:
A food services worker came to my room in the afternoon.
“Mr. Rockwell, we don’t have a menu from you. You won’t have anything to eat tomorrow if we don’t fill this out. Would you like wheat toast, white toast or rye? Would you like jelly?”
She completed the entire menu and left with a smile.
The next day she arrived in the afternoon with a smile. “Mr. Rockwell, we don’t have a menu from you. Would you like wheat toast, white or rye?”
She arrived on the third day still smiling. “Mr. Rockwell, we don’t have a menu from you.”
I finally realized that I was making her job harder. I interrupted her.
“I’m being a jerk. You come up here every afternoon to do something I should do. How are you being so pleasant?” She spoke four purpose-filled words.
“Food makes people happy.”
She was in the happiness business, not the menu business.
A leader with purpose:
- Endures difficulty and adversity with patience.
- Finds energy to keep going.
- Makes wise decisions that go beyond standard operating procedure. “What are we really doing here?”
Find purpose:
- What’s behind your nagging frustrations?
- What do you want to change on your team and what does that say about you?
- What stories from your youth still impact you today? Your purpose hides in your story.
- What adversity have you endured and how has it equipped you to serve others?
- What value would you love to bring to others?
Compelling purpose goes beyond personal happiness.
What does purposeless leadership look like?
How might leaders keep in touch with purpose?
She knew “how to connect”!
Glad she made you smile and enjoy your food!
It was a great lesson!
Pursuit of integrity
(The whole being greater than the mere sum of parts – the creation of synergy – the alignment of desire/frustration to influence/power to meaning/personal narratives to purpose/collective narrartives)
Keeps purpose central to all.
Nicely said, Rurbane. The idea of synergy is fascinating. It brings teams to mind for me. Shared purpose from a team perspective is important.
Am I wrong or should this be “..we don’t have a menu ‘from’ you. As in you neglected to provide something she needed from you to do her job properly and provide something you needed to get better!
Thanks William. Your suggestion is clearer. I made the change.
I remember already reading you around the time that happened. Can’t believe that was so long ago. That kind of patience and perspective you describe isn’t easy, and I love the questions you provide at the end so we can work through our unique situations as they come along.
Hi James. Wow!! thanks for being a reader for all these years.
It’s incredibly easy to get caught up in doing stuff and lose sight of what we’re all about. A little taste of purpose really goes a long way.
Love this story! After a busy year of being retired, I applied for a job as a dishwasher for one day a week at my favorite bakery/cafe. People are surprised, and it has led to some great conversations about the value of, and joy in, every job, and how you can lead from anywhere in an organization. It’s not about washing the dishes. It’s about being part of a team that is making people happy. The team is doing it so well that wealthy, busy retirees want to be a part of it.
Wow Awesome! You Rock Glen!
She was in the happiness business, not the menu business! What a great reminder to extend our focus beyond self to a greater and grander purpose. Thanks for the reminder, Dan. It’s a message we need to continually reinforce. All the best.
This is an excellent lesson and leaders need to treat everyone with dignity and respect.
Great questions! I will reflect on these. I appreciate you, Dan!
This stands out: “What stories from your youth still impact you today? Your purpose hides in your story.” My Grandfathers and father all taught me the value of hard work and going beyond in your work. That is what has always driven me. My challenges are being patient with those that do not have (and seem to not want) the same drive of hard work and going beyond. I can only presume those guys did not have the same upbringing and recent studies seem to point out that the influence of family (most notably fathers) does set one up for how one values work, see’s work and handles work. Those challenges noted would be my nagging frustrations. Seeing those others who just do a job in a nonpassionate way makes it hard to as implied above attempt to instill values and passion to them and even engage them cause they just do not respond.
Yes! I experienced this “enlightening” earlier this year when my employer moved my position to a distant location. I made the mental shift from being an employee to becoming a resource person to the clients. This has helped me keep a smile on my face as I serve my clients.
Dan,
I haven’t commented in a while. This message was like an arrow piercing my heart. I am tired and frustrated as the challenges and priorities continue to mount. I keep telling myself it’s a “season” and I will get through it. I just need to “dig-in” for the next month! I woke this morning to go meet with a group of men that get together 1x/month. Rather being excited about what this meeting always inspires, my glass was already 1/2 empty. The events of yesterday carried with me making my sleep anything but refreshing. As the leader I know that I have to lead by example, model the behavior, be the encourager, push through hard times, solve problems, etc. But…I just want to be tired and frustrated. Then I read today’s blog and I see…
“A leader with purpose:
1. Endures difficulty and adversity with patience.
2. Finds energy to keep going.
3. Makes wise decisions that go beyond standard operating procedure. “What are we really doing here?””
Thank you for what you do and challenging all of us to be a little better everyday!
Merry Christmas
Yes! Having a clear understanding of your purpose is what keeps you going when nothing else will.
oh so heart touching William
Dan, Have you already written on the hiding of purpose in our story? I would like to explore that some more. Thanks! Jon
Wow, this article really struck a chord with me! It’s amazing to see how one negative experience can ultimately lead to discovering one’s true purpose and passion in life. The author’s journey is a testament to the power of resilience and the importance of staying true to oneself, even in the face of adversity. This story is truly inspiring and a reminder that everything happens for a reason. Thank you for sharing!