The Leaders We Remember
Everyone has a lousy leader story. If you’re a lousy leader, you won’t be forgotten.
You intentionally recall positive memories, but negative memories come to you uninvited when you wake in the night.
Painful memories are recalled with greater frequency, intensity, and clarity than pleasurable. Ask about lousy leaders and the room lights up. The lousy leaders I remember were paranoid, fearful, manipulative, and self-absorbed.
Respect solidifies memory. Your eyes brighten when I ask you to tell me about a leader you respect.
You remember traits like:
- Care.
- Confidence.
- Clarity.
- Commitment.
I admire leaders when they reflect values and traits that I aspire to have. Grit, faithfulness, courage, and love.
How do leaders become positive memories?
The leaders we remember with joy:
Overcome disappointment.
The leaders you admire face the same disappointments other leaders face, but they rise above bitterness. Disappointment turns to bitterness and bitterness always makes you small.
Live with open hearts.
The leaders you remember let themselves be seen. When you pull back and protect yourself, others pull back and protect themselves.
Open-hearted leaders expand influence.
Self-protection and self-serving might enable advancement, but they never inspire a great memory.
Express joy and appreciation.
The leaders you remember enjoy the opportunity to serve. Vitality and vibrancy inspire people.
Make leading about joyful service.
Power of memory:
You act with the past in mind when you remember.
You might push against a bad memory. You might judge yourself. You might find joy when the present is like the past.
The memories you rehearse become the script of your play.
You become like the things you remember. I remember the grit of my dad and find grit in myself.
We become our memories.
What is true of the leaders you remember?
How might leaders employ memory in organizational life?
Those leaders who have left a positive impression on me are ones who have “walked the talk” by being ethical and knowing their “true North.” They lead by example by being consistent in thought and deed.
Thanks Daryl. It’s not as hard as we might think to leave a good memory. Just do the right thing. Ah… but that can be hard. 🙂
I remember the consistency and high standards of one of my bosses.
He had 18 years of “perfect attendance.” Never missed a day!
Thanks Paul. Just show UP!! 🙂 Love it.
The Leaders I remember most are those that didn’t “try so hard” to be Leaders – They just were, and those I’ve met in my life, I can count on one hand – They’re the ones I’d follow to the gates of hell. Selfless people ,looking out for their people and articulating a clear vision without feeling a need to micro-manage it.
~ the memories you rehearse become the script of your play. ~
Wow. That’s a profound statement. Too often, it’s too easy to look at everything (and everyone) through the lenses of past disappointments and hurts.
What is true of the leaders you remember?
One thing I admire about my mentor and leader is the posture of challenge and encouragement coupled with work done and humility. I was an introvert in the team but when I saw the amount of humility in my leader and how he recognizes my self-value. Today when trying to encourage another I remember his subtle positive wordings to act in accordance with my goal.
The act implement today can be executed not base on what we speak about yourself but a out what people say about you in memorial.
Supervisors that were bad are like haunting nightmares. Those bad bosses for me were all found in the law firms that I worked for. One was a former federal judge (which is a pinnacle of the legal profession). But he showed all of those negative leadership skills. So did a few others. They were skilled practitioners. And they were manipulative, paranoid, destructive, fearful and self-absorbed. What keeps you going in those situations is that limited situation where they give you praise. I’ve now learned that was nothing but manipulation too. Regrettably, many of the same character traits that make someone a good lawyer also makes them a terrible boss.
The best leader that I had showed me value and gave me a sense of worth. I loved going to work every day because he was so positive. I learned from him to be happy, even when I am, not, and allow people to have a voice.