How to Maximize Your Greatest Point of Influence

“Why did you hit your sister?”

“She hit me first!”

The people around you reflect your relationship with them. The stronger the connection, the deeper the reflection.

The people around you are – in part – reflections of you.

4 Points of influence:

#1. Daily practices and rituals.

Choose your repetitions carefully, they represent your influence. What are you repeatedly saying and doing? Repetition increases impact.

  • Daily gratitude fuels energy.
  • Daily complaining drains energy.

#2. Attitude and tone.

When you are closed or adversarial, the people around you close down or become adversarial.

Does it seem that everyone is resistant? What are you doing to invite resistance?

#3. Response to failure:

If you honor responsible failure, people feel bold. If you punish responsible failure, self-protection rules the day.

Are you seeing boldness or self-protection?

#4. Focus.

Focus is influence.

A focus on faults and failure invites people to feel inadequate. A focus on talent and strength invites people to step up with confidence.

Are the people around you filled with fear or confidence? What about you invites fear or boldness in others?


YOU are your greatest point of influence. Francis Hesslebein put it this way, “Leadership is a matter of how to be, not how to do.”

First, identify who you are. This requires both self-reflection and feedback. You need to observe yourself. And, you need input from others to learn who you are.

Others help you discover who you are.

  1. Explore how you occur to others.
  2. Paint a picture of your aspirational self.
  3. Choose to show up in ways that express your aspirational self.

Second, help others become their best selves.

It’s simple to tell people what to do. It’s leadership to teach them how to be. One way is to tell them when you see them at their best.

What shifts in your leadership when the focus includes helping people become their best selves?

Bonus material:

How Identity is Influence (Leadership Freak)

5 Powerful Ways to Become Your Best Self (Entrepreneur)