4 Ways to Move Through Pain to Fulfillment
An aspirin might solve a headache, but it doesn’t cure cancer.
Instead of moving through pain to fulfillment, we prolong and multiply discomfort by masking it.
It’s better to use pain than ignore it.
4 ways to move through pain to fulfillment
#1. Humble yourself.
Pain hardens fools and humbles sages.
No one can humble you. You humble yourself.
Humility caused by painful failure is like turning on bright lights. The wise open their eyes; fools turn away.
3 insights sages know:
- Self-made is a myth that insults everyone who helped you.
- Gratitude comes from learning through failure.
- The height you reach depends on the shoulders you stand upon.
“I prefer an injurious truth to a useful error. Truth heals any pain it may inflict on us.” Goethe
#2. Find purpose.
You move through pain to fulfillment when you discover purpose.
Painful experiences are jackhammers.
People who have been abused often find purpose in serving those who are abused, for example.
What painful experiences are you solving?
#3. Adapt
Agony is punishment for foolish persistence.
When I’m at my computer I tip my head back so I can see clearly. I’m looking through bifocals. Constant tipping causes neck and shoulder pain. The solution is computer glasses, not gutting it out.
“The only thing more painful than learning from experience is not learning from experience.” Anonymous
#4. Stop.
They say pain is weakness leaving the body, but sometimes it means STOP.
Skillful quitting minimizes suffering.
Leaders talk themselves out of opportunities. They say, “They need me here,” or, “Things are going so well,” or, “I have more to do here.”
The above quotes reflect reality, but they are self-limiting excuses that prevent reflection on opportunity.
The discomfort of rejecting future opportunity is less painful than rejecting present security.
How might leaders move through pain to fulfillment?
Still curious?
You Have More Than you Think – Turkey’s Revenge
Start by diagnosing the origin of the pain.
1. I didn’t do what I knew I should do.
2. My actions didn’t match my words.
3. I didn’t speak up and say what I thought.
The underlying issue causing the pain may be fear, lack of courage, anger, envy, etc.
Then what changes need to be made. Determine how to correct what you didn’t say or do?
Dan, you gave up a lot of powerful ideas in today’s blog. A lot to think about and digest!
Thanks Paul. Looking at underlying issues seems essential. If you don’t dig below the surface you end up using an aspirin instead of having surgery.
I appreciate your kind words.
Number 4 leads me to a question and puts me at a crossroads in my career. One of those rare moments when you recognize that after multiple months of working towards a career shift (in my case, shifting back into healthcare), I am at the point where I am looking at not one but two solid job offers to come in around the same time. However, it gets better. I will have the final interview with my ‘dream company’ in approximately 2 weeks and it is a huge opportunity. They are all good opportunities but does skillful quitting for the opportunity with my dream company make me a horrible person if I accept the first opportunity, but the dream company comes through a few weeks later and I quit before I even start with a job I just accepted? Part of me says that is wrong in every sense of the word. Another says it’s my long term career; period.
“The discomfort of rejecting future opportunity is less painful than rejecting present security.” That statement confounds my brain, which signals to me it’s potential importance to me. Would you consider expounding on that statement? Thank you!
Sure thing Scott. It’s painful to reject an attractive opportunity. It’s also painful to reject present security, but the situation you’re in usually feels safer than the opportunity you haven’t seized yet.
The known feels safer than the unknown. We tend to keep doing what we are doing because it feels safer than trying something new.
Hope that helps.
“Self-made is a myth and an insult to everyone who helped you.” I love this. Growing up, I remember so many idols were “self-made”, or “pulled themselves up.” It took a long time for me to learn that was never really true.
Thanks John. It’s true that some have it harder than others. But we all stand on the shoulders of others. Even the Lone Ranger had Tonto.
One of your best, Dan – among so many great ones! As has been noted in previous comments, things begin to improve once we choose to understand the circumstances associated with the pain.
Thank you, John. A good word from you means a lot.
We might want to turn away. But ignoring pain doesn’t helps cure the cause of pain.