Community Village: 7 Ways Village Builders Win
You live an impoverished life apart from a village. Life on your own is empty.
The richest possible life turns toward community.
You need a community to flourish.
Life is better when you build relationships where you contribute to others and others contribute to you.
Everything that enriches life begins with community.
7 ways village builders win:
- Contentment – you’re ok with who you are in a village.
- Shared activities – doing things with others is more satisfying than doing them alone.
- Stability – life with others might be messy, but it’s more stable than life alone.
- Centeredness – a village is a beacon calling you to clarity.
- Permission granted – you are not a bother to anyone in your village. (The fear of bothering someone is one reason villages don’t exist.)
- Inclusion – you don’t feel left out.
- Being seen – people see you and you see them.
Community – 3 ways to build your village.
#1. Sit on the porch.
Be available. You show up before you connect.
#2. Choose your village people.
Look for people of influence, authority, and experience. Who best contributes?
Invite someone who shares similar interests.
Reach out to people on the fringe. Converted fringe-dwellers provide unexpected value.
Be easily impressed to overcome reluctance.
#3. Practice noticing:
Listen for values.
Observe repeated topics of conversation.
Discover action steps by noticing what matters to people in your village.
Why you struggle to build a village:
Communities of trust and care are rare. You’re blazing your own trail.
You struggle because village building requires a transformation of priorities.
Relationships are risky. It’s human nature to play it safe, turn away, and not bother people.
3 quick tips:
- Tighten your belt and take a risk.
- Reach out to a new person this week.
- Make a list of three people who contribute to you. Give them a thank you call.
Start building today. Write intriguing and life-giving stories. 100% of the time good effort delivers good results.
You cannot fulfill your purpose in isolation.
What’s preventing you from building your village?
How can you build a village that attracts ‘your’ people?
3 Ways to Lean on People Without Being Needy
No One of Us Is as Smart as All of Us—Treat People as Partners
This post is a collaboration between Dan Rockwell and Stan Endicott.
I relax my 300 word limit on weekend posts.
Another timely post, and I love the questions. Even knowing I have introverted tendencies, there is an important need for community. I’m working through how to support some communities at the moment, and I’m struggling with the right platform. For example, one group needs to be online, but also private, and on a platform that many will use (lots of pushback on using FB). I’m slowly coming to the conclusion that it may be best to start something, see what response I get, and tweak as we go. This post helped connect more dots on why this is so important.
Thanks John. I’m so glad you brought up introversion. Some people find it more difficult to build community than others. I was an isolationist for much of my life. If I could go back, I’d definitely do more relationship building. I’ve often said, if you have a relationship with you, you worked hard to get it. My first response to connection is pushing away.
I wish you well in your endeavors. Your approach seems brilliant to me. Get the ball rolling and adapt as you go.
Living in a community brings unity and trust
Thanks CJ, I’ll add that it requires trust also.
The villages I have lived in were unfriendly, inward-looking, cliquey in the extreme and riven with old hierarchies. Why would you want to create something like that?
Hi Mitch. I wouldn’t want to create something like you describe. Village building is a skill. I acknowledge it takes courage to try. It takes skill to do it well.
On occasion I’ve taken time to list the people in my village. Not the people who simply live in my vicinity, but people in my life. It’s amazing how many people have – and are – trying to help me. People like Little League coaches and teachers.
I’ve also learned that people opposed or even tried to harm me might have succeeded for a while, but in the end, I’m a better person because of them. I confess that some of them still cause negative feelings when I think of them. But the truth is, they were NOT part of the village I intentionally built or the one I am building today.
I wish you well.
Dan, thank you for a thought-provoking post. Please elaborate on #3, Stability. I’m not sure I agree, but I’d like to hear more. Doesn’t being part of a village mean that you encounter change more often than if you operate on your own?
Hi Peter. Thanks for your question. First, let me mention that this post is a collaboration with my friend, Stan Endicott.
I think you’re speaking to, “Stability – life with others might be messy, but it’s more stable than life alone.”
A person who has a village is better able to navigate turbulence. You have people who know you and can offer advice, support, encouragement, and help. Of course, you are that for others in your village too.
Thanks again for asking. I hope that helps. Cheers