5 Ways Leaders Sabotage Their Influence With Others
You can’t influence people who are protecting themselves from you.
Ethical influence requires free response. You can’t pressure someone into being influenced. Everything you do that causes people to protect themselves corrodes influence.
5 Ways Leaders Sabotage Their Influence With Others:
Self-protection defeats influence.
You can’t tear down someone’s protective wall for them. They must dismantle it themselves.
5 actions that invite resistance…
- Talking without listening. You lower resistance with your ears.
- Refusing to adapt. Flexibility builds trust.
- Micromanaging. Constant oversight causes rebellion.
- Punishing dissent. People withdraw when disagreement is penalized.
- Taking credit and blaming. Blamers end up on islands.
5 Ways Leaders Multiply Influence by Enabling Responsiveness:
Influence requires responsiveness.
- Be predictable. We trust steady leaders. People need to know you won’t blow your stack when you’re stressed. You are safe when people know how you respond.
- Share everything you can. Too much information is better than too little. People make up their own stories when you are secretive.
- Seek input. Don’t abdicate ethical decision-making. Ask people how decisions will impact others. Explore options. “I need to make a decision. What are some options?”
- Practice vulnerability. Let people see your warts and all. Share what you learned from mistakes. Give examples of your own development. But don’t treat your team like a therapy session.
- Acknowledge concerns. Acknowledgement isn’t agreement. People feel rejected when you minimize their concerns. Say things like, “I see this is important to you.”
Power-over seems simpler and faster than influence-with. But responsiveness takes everyone further and it’s less stressful.
Don’t do things that cause people to protect themselves from you.
Skillful leaders build responsiveness. Foolish leaders rely on command and control.
How do leaders create resistance in others?
How can leaders enable responsiveness in others?
Still curious?
How any Manager can Increase Influence and Fuel Peak Performance
3 Shifts that Expand Influence
3 Reasons people resist your leadership
How to Increase Your Influence at Work (hbr.org)
Morning Dan!
How do leaders create resistance in others? Making decisions for an entire group based on a small percentage of actions, as a way to treat everyone “equal” to avoid a difficult conversation. Allowing others to speak only as a vehicle to checkbox “listening”. Placing value on hierarchy vs connection making communication lengthy and slow.
How can leaders enable responsiveness in others? Be open to alternative solutions/actions and then providing ownership. Place other people’s interests first. Serving with the intent of maximizing individual success.
For me I trust that if people know I care about their opinions and success, and am willing to act on that, I will have influence.
Good morning, WP.
It’s easy to make a blanket policy to deal with an individual issue. But as you say, It’s a trust buster. High performers feel disrespected when they are treated like low performers. You see this issue in highly bureaucratic organizations.
Such wonderful insights, WP. We trust people who understand and support our personal aspirations.
Explore options. “I need to make a decision. What are some options?” I love this. What a great way to stimulate buy-in and creativity. Thank you for sharing. Travis
Thanks, Travis. I’m glad you caught that. Some leaders don’t seek input because they think it means group decision making. Consensus decisions can be useful. But let’s face it, sometimes tough decisions need to be made. We can still seek input and explore options.
Cheers
These guidelines can be applied to parenting teens and teaching too! This is a very Montessori friendly approach to leadership. Thank you for putting it in such clear terms. I hope people will use it beyond their office space. Thank you Dan!
Thanks, Shahrooz. Leadership principles often apply to all of life. Thank you expand the impact of these ideas.
Dan, I read all of your messages, and while I like them all, some of them can be a little scattered at times. This is one of the most powerful, coherent, spot-on pieces you’ve ever written. It makes a clear and compelling opening statement. It follows a well-reasoned explanation for the point you’re making, and it provides an excellent well-written list of actions leaders can take to enhance responsiveness. Truly outstanding! I write a weekly blog on the principles and practices for getting employees engaged in systematic continuous Improvement processes, and I sometimes cover ideas similar to the ones you’ve outlined in this message. Here’s a link to the page on my website where I archive past issues in case you’d like to check it out: https://blog.landesassociates.com/
Les, Thanks for being a regular reader of Leadership Freak. The fact that readers return is both gratifying and sobering. There is only one thing scarier than being ignored and that is being listened to (or at least considered.)
I dropped over to read your blog. I see you appreciate brevity as well.
Thanks for your comments on my writing and the compliment about today’s post. The amount of work it takes to bring clarity to my scattered thoughts is more than people might think. You encourage me to continue to work at it.
I wish you well in your efforts to bring value to others. Cheers
You’re very welcome, Dan. Keep up the good work 🙂
My favorite sentences from this impactful message about Leadership: “Explore options”. To me that alone means moving away from dictatorship and into team building and listening skills. “Acknowledgement isn’t agreement.” provides me, a new spiritual leader to interact with both understanding and wisdom. The speaker feels heard and listened to and your phrase “I see this is important to you” opens an opportunity for the speaker to share more or at least to understand that the leader does care. Thank-you as always for messages with impact.
Thanks for sharing your feedback and insight, Pauline. Great insight to add, “Explore options. To me that alone means moving away from dictatorship and into team building and listening skills.”
I wish you success.