Dos and Don’ts of Gratitude
I have never heard an employee complain their boss was too grateful. However, it is possible to show too much gratitude.
Don’ts Of Gratitude:
- Don’t dilute standards so you can express gratitude.
- Don’t focus exclusively on tasks.
- Don’t reduce urgency by suggesting people have arrived.
Dos Of Gratitude:
- Do notice character and effort. Say, “I appreciate that you stick to a job until it’s done.”
- Do mention impact. Say, “I respect that you energize others when you show up.”
- Do honor development. Leaders who wait for perfection and completion are ingrates.
Gratitude enlarges others. It’s normal to ask, “What’s in it for me,” but servant leaders ask, “What’s in it for others.” Appreciation instills confidence. When you’re grateful you tell people they’re heading in the right direction.
Become A Grateful Leader:
A person who deserves everything they get is an ingrate. Invite people to support each other and to help you. The people around good leaders want to support you. When you put weight on others, let them know they’re helping themselves and you.
Wisdom recognizes benefits received.
You stand on the shoulders of many supporters.
Overcome the magnetism of bad. You need to intentionally notice good when you’re grappling with big problems. If you pause, you’ll see people rising under pressure. Take that moment to encourage with appreciation.
Respect amplifies gratitude. The more authority you have the more powerful a small thank you becomes.
Tip: Make a list of everyone around you and schedule gratitude visits.
What blocks expressions of gratefulness?
What or who are you thankful for today?
Still curious:
Thieves of Thankfulness – 3 Traits That Inhibit Gratitude
(PDF) Thieves of Thankfulness: Traits that inhibit gratitude
What blocks gratitude?
Moving fast – You forget to stop and say thank you.
Pressure – if you are getting pressure from above, it is sometimes hard to remember to be grateful.
Reciprocation – If you show gratitude over and over again and don’t receive it, you lose the will to give it out.
I am grateful today for this post – reminding me that regardless of what is going on, I need to remember to express gratitude to those around me that support me and help me grow. Thank you, Dan!
Insightful reasons gratitude is blocked. You mention my top three reasons for not expressing gratitude. I get lost in what I’m doing. Thank you for sharing.
I agree it would be rare for someone to complain that their boss is too grateful. But it isn’t rare to hear that someone is “fake”. Gratitude needs to be genuine and specific if trying to share appreciation for an individual. Thanks for the reminder.
Thanks for chiming in, Sarah. You remind me that leadership begins with who we are. Being comes before doing. We work on ourselves first.
It can be valuable to express gratitude when it feels awkward to us – when we aren’t used to expressing it. But disingenuous gratitude is harmful.
I think its delusional to look around and not see things to be grateful for and people to be grateful to.
It’s great when you can inject it into the culture, with some easy way to encourage EVERYONE to express gratitude to coworkers. It doesn’t let the ‘boss’ off the hook, but creates a larger overall impact
Thanks for making the application bigger, Glen.