Thrive with an Incompetent Boss
People feel like giving up when leaders cheer incompetent bosses.
Higher ups love great results. Unethical leaders support lousy managers if trouble isn’t too loud and costs aren’t too high. How can you thrive when your boss is a jerk-hole?
Thrive with an incompetent boss:
#1. Be a duck, not a goose.
Lousy bosses treat everyone badly. It’s not personal. Don’t honk about their offenses all day. Let it roll off your back. Whining pollutes your soul.
Learn to thrive when it rains. Skillful people flourish in difficult situations.
You can’t change people. You can grow yourself.
“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” Viktor Frankl
#2. Be a fox, not a sheep.
Learn, don’t follow.
Learn how to deliver great results from an incompetent boss. Ignore weakness, focus on strengths.
What is your boss doing to deliver great results? Emulate some of those behaviors, even if they might feel awkward at first. Don’t adopt destructive habits like intimidating people.
The behavior you haven’t tried is the one that will lift you to the next level.
#3. Be a donkey, not a parrot.
Learn what you don’t want to do. Make a list of behaviors you stubbornly refuse to emulate. Jerk-holes don’t have emotional intelligence.
Refuse to:
- Intimidate.
- Micro-manage.
- Over-react.
- Be a know-it-all.
- ???
Tips for people with an incompetent boss:
- Be careful complaining to the people who hired your boss.
- Point out ethical violations.
- Consider looking for a new job.
- Never let a bad boss be the reason you sabotage your career.
- Focus on things you control. Learn to let go of things outside your control.
How can people thrive with an incompetent boss?
Still curious:
What to Do When You Hate Your Boss – HBR
Great article. I walked out on a job last week due to exactly what is described. There are lousy bosses and then there are toxic environments. Sometimes a fine line to be determined. When upper management does nothing when a half dozen walk out within a year, maybe the problem isn’t a bad boss, but a bad corporate culture.
Thanks for adding the dimension of toxic environments. Culture is a product of the people, but it also pressures people to conform. Sometimes the behaviors that are tolerated or reward are destructive.
Congratulations for pursuing something better. I wish you success, Valerie.
Leaders speak up and address difficult topics with bad bosses. They communicate professionally, without anger, and use a fact-based approach.
To the boss:
“One of our company’s core values is ‘respect.’ When you [describe specific behavior], it makes me feel disrespected. I’d appreciate it if you didn’t …….”
To the boss:
“During the last meeting, you interrupted me three times and dismissed my idea with a sarcastic comment. This made me feel undervalued as a team member. I’d like to have a more productive dialogue where all contributions are considered.”
Thank you, Paul. Great illustration! It takes courage and vulnerability to have hard conversations. When they are geared to make things better, it’s worth it.
Dan, I read this kind of post, and since I’m a solo pastor of a small church, I think am I that guy? I’m not a boss per se, but I do lead people. What kind of leader am I? Do I intimidate, micro-manage, over-react? Do I come present myself as a know-it-all? Really good stuff. If I do, it is possible no one would tell me…..they would simply leave the church. So how do those under incompetent leadership help their leaders be better?
Interesting reflection, Pete. First, congratulations for engaging in self-reflection. Second, leaders are often the last to know. Speaking the truth isn’t worth the risk or energy for some people.
You might consider intentionally seeking feedback from one trustworthy person. For example, Say, “I’m working to present myself as a person open to learn. Would you watch me during our meeting with that in mind? After the meeting could we discuss the things I did that support my goal and the things that didn’t work?”
Helping your leader improve depends on the nature of the relationship. If there is trust and mutual respect it could be worth the effort to gently step into that topic. But, when trust and respect are low, don’t go there.
I feel this in my soul. I worked for an incompetent (though pleasant) boss for 10 years. We were on an upward trajectory prior to his arrival then stagnated for his tenure. I struggled the first few years then did as you outlined… look for the good, value what he did contribute and just did my own work. Looking back, he didn’t necessarily ‘hurt us,’ it just wasn’t the growth environment we had enjoyed.
Thanks SJ. Powerful story. Congratulations on adapting and making the best of a challenging situation. We develop a growth mindset when we seek to make the best of difficulties. Cheers
To quote my husband: “No one is a complete waste. They can always serve as a bad example.” When stuck with an incompetent boss, at least you can learn what not to do.
Gotta smile at that one, Jennifer. Learning what not to do can save a person loads of time and heartache.