Wisdom Adapts – Fools Persist
Tenacity is the reason problems persist. Endurance is great until it doesn’t work.
Nagging frustration over the same problem means you’re repeatedly doing things that don’t work. Wisdom adapts. Fools persist and suffer.
5 ways wisdom adapts:
#1. Try something different.
Be slow to change mission and open to adapt methods.
Focus on high-impact efforts. Do things that make a difference. Nagging frustrations point to wasted effort. Success energizes.
Make a list of three things that drain your energy. Reflect on what you’re doing to resolve each issue. What could you do that you haven’t tried?
#2. Try something that feels wrong.
You’ve already tried things that feel right. Did they work? Get advice from someone you trust. Lean in when a trusted adviser says something that feels awkward. Ask, “If I tried that, what would I do that I’m not already doing?”
#3. Remove roadblocks.
Notice what’s holding you back. If it’s in your power, remove it.
#4. Work on yourself.
When your nagging frustration is a person, become the person you want others to be. How might the qualities you want from a problem employee or boss be qualities that you should develop?
#5. Let it go.
Accept things you can’t change. It may feel like failure, but it’s wisdom.
Choose happiness by finding points of gratitude. Nagging issues pollute life. Remind yourself that life is bigger than problems. Help others smile.
4 questions when you consider adapting:
- What needs to change about me?
- What does success look like?
- Who might have a new perspective?
- What new person could join the battle?
Which idea could you put into practice today?
What can you add to the “wisdom adapts” list?
https://hbr.org/2020/09/5-principles-to-guide-adaptive-leadership
Hi Dan,
#4 teeters close to “me doing the work of others.” I’m confident this is not what you meant. So, what am I missing?
Peggy Lynn
Good morning Peggy Lynn,
You may feel you are missing it in your words, however, I don’t think you are missing it in your actions.
You asking the question “what am I missing?” is you working on yourself.
Being open to exploring the “other side”. Maybe there is something you can consider changing within yourself to help move forward.
I saw Dan’s words in #4 as closer to (but not exactly) to “be the change you want to see.”, with a little “If that was you how would you want to be treated?”, also mixed with (from Crucial Conversations) “Why would a reasonable and responsible person act this way?”
Only Dan will know his true intent of what he posted, we all have to interpret the message. I am interested in his replay to your question as well. As your question made me think about how I was interpreting #4.
Thank you.
Hi Nik. Your reflection on #4 is beautiful. Your perspective adds insights I hadn’t thought about. Yes, the idea of “work on yourself,” is about self-development. We tend to slip into blaming when people frustrate us. Maybe we need to grow through it. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
Hi Peggy Lynn. You’re right. One thing that dilutes a leaders effectiveness is doing other people’s work. It’s exhausting. I was thinking about Jung’s idea that our frustration with others might show us things about ourselves. Maybe there’s a development opportunity.
For example, I can get irritated with people who take longer than me to make decisions. I have learned over the years that rushing important decisions isn’t a strength. I’ve learned to have reasonable confidence that I can finish what I begin from people I have labeled as footdraggers.
“Be slow to change mission and open to adapt methods.” that’s insightful.. Life and society are very fast moving, changing methods recognizes this dynamic state. Changing mission is a whole other matter, pointing to core values, something we want to carefully protect. Your statement has great value.
Your affirmation encourages me, Ken. It’s true. We risk irrelevance if we don’t adapt in turbulent environments.
It helps me to start by identifying the source of my frustration.
–Lack of shared goals
–Lack of a shared plan
–Unnecessary delays and paperwork
–Unanticipated circumstances
–Conflicts
Then as Dan said, I separate what I can control from what I can’t control.
What I have leaned–pick you battles–some frustrations you can resolve, some you have to live with at least for awhile.
Insightful as usual, Paul. It feels like defeat to suggest we should live with something. We don’t live in a Disneyland. This world is imperfect and so are we. If we can’t learn to live with imperfection we can’t thrive as people and we struggle with reality. My problem is I want to change everything.
Love this post. I recently addressed my team after hearing multiple people frustrated with leadership at the top not listening or responding to concerns shared. In preparation for the conversation with my team I referenced multiple Leadership Freak blogs and reached out to a mentor. Through those resources I crafted a message that included, “Live the part and don’t wait for an invitation.”, and “The more you say it, the more you become it.” Continuing to muddle on “no one listens to me” only serves to reinforce those feelings and shuts down progress. Live the part and the change we want to see that is within our control. I appreciate the comments in today’s post as well – a great community of leaders I often lean on to help me grow.
It takes insight, courage, and vulnerability to lead teams like you are. Thanks for sharing your process and your story. There are so many good takeaways. Taking the time to craft a message is one of the most important ones. I wish you continued success.
PS Just as I was ready to hit reply I remembered that the person we hurt the most when we let difficult situations grip us is our self. Cheers