Don’t Listen to Every Voice
All Voices Aren’t Equal
Don’t listen to everyone. Some voices aren’t relevant. Some people have 10 opinions before breakfast. Some voices are worth your time. Some aren’t.
Wise leaders listen broadly, but selectively.
Evaluate the Voice You Hear:
#1. Wisdom earns weight.
The voice of experience deserves more attention than someone guessing from the sidelines. If you had more time you could explore every opinion.
#2. Context determines value.
I like to tell the mechanic what’s wrong with my car. I think I know what the dentist should do. The nurse’s voice matters. The surgeon makes the decision.
If the house is on fire listen to the fire chief. Ignore bystanders.
#3. Consequences amplify importance.
The person who carries the consequences of decisions needs the loudest voice. Listen to users during software rollouts. Those closest to the action have the clearest insight. But leaders need to shape decisions that impact entire organizations.
#4. Responsibility shapes influence.
Teachers, coaches, leaders, and parents shape outcomes. Accountability gives a voice power.
#5. Expertise matters.
Don’t ask your lawyer for advice about your toilet. Don’t ask plumbers to make decisions about your heart.
Expertise validates influence.
Conclusion:
Every voice matters, but not all voices are equal. Don’t give the same weight to every opinion. Some voices are background noise. Some voices deserve a megaphone.
Listen to understand. Don’t feel pressure to agree. Some voices are worth your time and some aren’t. Listen broadly. Evaluate carefully.
Tip: The person who disagrees might have something worth hearing.
How might people know which voices deserve attention?
Best Advice I’ve Ever Gotten? Stop Listening to Everyone’s Advice – Medium
When to Ignore Your Inner Voice – Leadership Freak
“Every voice matters, but not all voices are equal.” A great reminder on a Friday morning, Dan. Good advice to choose carefully whom we’ll allow to influence us.
Also reminds me of a quote I heard somewhere along the line that goes something like, “We are all created equal. Some are just a little more equal than others.” 😬
It feels awkward to me. That’s why I wrote about it. I pull away from “We are all created equal. Some are just a little more equal than others.” But a little reflection validates the truth that some voices should carry more weight than others. Thanks for jumping in today.
Good advice Dan.
Be selective!
I always ask myself–Has the person accomplished what I am trying to accomplish? Or, how much experience and expertise does the person have in the area they are providing advice?
Some people like to give feedback without being asked. I recommend asking yourself–“Would I go to this person for feedback on ____________” Would I value their opinion?
It’s surprising how many people think they know what you should do. In reality, they know what they should do. I’ve adopted the polite/ignore strategy. Listen politely and ignore their advice. Of course, there’s always the chance they’re bringing value.
Feedback that explains how someone is experiencing you is always true. It might not be helpful but when someone says, “when you leaned in I felt intimidated, it’s true. They did feel intimidated.
The least important voice to listen to is that one inside your head.
Fascinating sentence, Jennifer. I wonder if you’re referring to a cruel inner critic.
Not just the cruel inner critic. There’s also that other voice that tells you to ignore everyone else and do what you want. That voice is almost more dangerous. The cruel inner critic talks you out of things; the other voice talks you into them, and you end up running roughshod over everyone else.
You bring up the concern I feel with this post. If we aren’t careful, we only listen to confirming voices.
I’m a great sideline football coach. That doesn’t make me a great football coach.
I love hearing ideas and perspectives (even hard feedback) but I also evaluate what I know of the other person. I’ll listen to my superiors on how to run my team; I’ll take suggestions from others differently.
Thanks for the food for thought, Dan.
Great seeing you here today, Ryan. I’m a great sideline coach too. All the fun. None of the responsibility. 🙂 Cheers
I used to tell our kids when they still lived with us “you have a voice, but not a vote” in household decisions or things where I needed to make unpopular decisions for them. So the same idea that not every voice will hold equal weight. As adults, I encourage them to use the same philosophy with me. 😉
Honestly, I think some of my best work philosophies and approaches are rooted in how I parent. Not that my colleagues are children, but I’m talking to them with the same honest love that my kids were getting because I want them all thriving and contributing in a meaningful way.
Thanks Alyssa. My takeaway is let people know you’re interested their feedback but they don’t get to make the decision.
Over the years, it’s become clear that leadership principles apply to individuals and families. Transparency and honesty are essential all around. Thanks again for sharing your insights and experience.