Emotional Fatigue Eats Leaders Alive
Emotional fatigue consumes your passion. Physical exhaustion is obvious. Emotional burnout defeats you before you see it.
Feelings get tired just like muscles.
You’re not tired because you did too much. You’re exhausted because you feel too much for too long.
The Elijah Effect
A story in the Hebrew Scriptures illustrates emotional fatigue. Elijah stood alone. Confronted corruption. Called down fire and won.
You don’t always fall after failure. Elijah crumbled after success. Eventually he fled, collapsed under a bush, and asked to die.
Success doesn’t protect you from emotional fatigue. Sometimes you’re like the dog who caught the car.
What Emotional Fatigue Feels Like:
- Daily duties feel burdensome.
- Motivation turns to numbness or frustration.
- Empathy escapes you.
- Withdrawal turns to neglect.
Psychologists call it empathy fatigue or decision fatigue. Research is clear. You run dry when you pour out more than you pour in.
3 Ways to Restore Emotional Energy
Emotional fatigue creeps in unnoticed. Eventually small issues pollute all of life.
#1. Reflect on causes.
- Trying to control things you can’t control.
- Focusing on problems.
- Rejecting imperfect progress.
- Living in the land of wish. You wish you had better managers, for example. Wishful thinking creates dissatisfaction.
Saying, “I’m emotionally tired,” is the first step to solving it.
#2. Encourage yourself.
Self-talk impacts emotions. Tell yourself to notice some good stuff. Avoid telling yourself you shouldn’t feel bad. Say the good. Reject negative self-judgments.
Tell yourself to focus on next time. Plan responses to difficult situations before they arrive. Cheer yourself on: “You got this.” What good does beating yourself down do?
#3. Connect with a person who understands.
Avoid fixers. Embrace listeners. Ignore fakers. Find someone who is vulnerable and transparent.
Don’t wait for collapse. Refill your emotional tank before it’s empty. Emotional fatigue isn’t weakness. It’s a warning.
What suggestion in this post seems most relevant to you?
How might leaders regularly fill their emotional tank?
https://www.health.com/what-is-emotional-wellness-11700066
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3156844
Read the Elijah story for yourself.
“Avoid fixers. Embrace listeners. Ignore fakers.” This really resonated with me! 🙂
Thanks for stopping by today, Michael. The fixers drive me nuts!
My husband — who is an engineer — is a fixer. And he has learned to ask me whether I want a solution or just a sympathetic ear. So even fixers can change.
What a great practice. It’s funny that I hate fixers and a is one.
This can be easier said than done! slowing down enough to make is a habit is an investment.
So true. It takes time to develop habits that strengthen. It seems habits that drain us come naturally.
It really makes a difference when you can connect with someone who understands what you’re going through. There is not much better than getting to vent to someone who understands what you’re going through.
I meditate twice a day and exercise once a day to restore my emotional energy.
Constant worry can be a big emotional drainer. It help me to separate what I can control and focus on that.
Paul B. Thornton
Thanks for sharing your practices, Paul. Lot’s of voices speak about learning to breathe. That’s probably related. Life is too short to squander.
So true, SB. Nothing like the ear of experience when it’s empathetic and encouraging. Sometimes all we need is a little acknowledgement that leading is hard.
“Sometimes you’re like the dog who caught the car.” Beautiful!
Thanks for the shoutout, Michael.
Love this. Thank you
Thank you, John.
What is it called when you are past “Emotional Fatigue”? What would that look like and what would you recommend to come back from that?
Thanks for asking. I’m reluctant to make suggestions on something like this. I’ve read about leaders who had breakdowns. Perhaps talking with an expert. Or get serious about refueling. Begin small but begin quickly.
I love the info about emotional fatigue. It comes as a timely reminder for me. There is another lesson in that story of Elijah. When emotional fatigue had set in there were 2 things Elijah did: 1) took a nap, and 2) ate and drank something. When I’ve found myself buried in emotional fatigue, I’ve learned that getting more rest and returning to healthier eating habits have helped a lot. Instead of trying to “push through”, rest and a good healthy meal can do wonders for my attitude and energy level. Thanks for the reminder today.
Thanks for adding your insights. The world looks better when we’re rested. Fatigue makes everything worse.
Oh man… this one resonates with me deeply. I’ve recently had to step down from a position and vocation in Scouting that I am incredibly passionate about due to exactly this reason. Emotionally I was/am empty and nobody, myself or anybody else, was refilling that tank. I was running on fumes for probably a year or two longer than I should have and finally in a moment of extreme frustration and hurt I had to resign. I hate that it went down the way it did. “Don’t wait for collapse. Refill your emotional tank before it’s empty. Emotional fatigue isn’t weakness. It’s a warning.” If I was wiser and followed your points you shared maybe it could have been avoided.
One great danger of emotional fatigue is decisions that limit our future. It’s sad to say no to something you love. Perhaps in the future, there will be another opportunity. Steady on.
Good article. This issue is applicable to personnel at all levels in the organization, regardless of organizational size. In order to nurture others, as well as meet business needs. It is necessary, not selfish, to take time to nurture ourselves (protect our own capacity) so that we can be an effective person, employee, or leader.
Well said, Joan. It’s reasonable to believe fatigue damages and limits our best.
Another powerful article that hits the bullseye! Avoiding fixers is a great reminder – they exhaust you even more. I will shout you name and continuing wisdom as I share your ever important ideas!!! thanks again!
So true. There’s a big difference between working on yourself and having someone working on you. Thanks for the support.
This is a great article and so very true. Emotional overload often comes from juggling too many balls in the air at once. We feel drained, overwhelmed, and then the exhaustion leads to disconnection and lack of joy. The one thing leaders can do to support their emotional wellbeing is to establish boundaries so they prioritise themselves. When leaders prioritise themselves first, then they empower their teams as a result, and they also then free up space and time to allow them to support others during dedicated, planned interactions. Thanks for sharing this vital blog. Sharon
Wonderful insight. Boundaries are essential. Sincere leaders struggle sometimes with the false notion they are responsible to fix everything and help everyone. It’s a self-limiting and self-destructive approach. Some learn it the hard way. I appreciate you good word.