5 Feedback Mistakes Leaders Make
96% of employees say feedback helps them grow. Yet 32% wait three months or more to receive it. Even when feedback is given, only 50% act on it.*
Examples of positive appraisal:
- “You’re on the right track. Keep it up.”
- “I noticed you stayed late to finish this report. Your dedication makes a difference.”
- “I appreciate you speaking up more in meetings. Your input matters.”
- “You brought positive energy when you shared what you’re learning.”
Examples of constructive appraisal:
- “I noticed you cut people off in our meeting. It’s important that people participate. Let’s talk about how to make sure everyone feels heard.”
- “You agreed to send the update Friday, but it didn’t come through. Following through builds trust. Let’s talk about how to manage priorities better.”
- “I noticed a few key details were missing in your presentation. Let’s walk through how to make sure those are included next time.”
- “When you (name behavior) it doesn’t serve you well. Let’s work on ways to turn this into a positive.
Feedback isn’t:
- Advice. Performance conversations include coaching and advising. Feedback simply names the behavior and its impact—nothing more.
- Therapy. You’re not there to explain why people behave a certain way. Focus on what they do.
- Personal. “You missed a deadline” focuses on behavior. “You screwed up” attacks the person. Separate performance from the person.
5 Feedback Mistakes:
#1. Dancing around the issue. Get to the point.
#2. Focusing on the past. Spend most of the conversation on improvement. “What can you do to improve this situation? How can I help?”
#3. Failure to follow up. End with, “Let’s meet next week to discuss your progress.”
#4. Saying “we.” “We need to follow through” softens accountability. Say “You need to follow through.”
#5. Harshness. Be kind and direct.
What’s your best tip on this topic?
16 Ways to Give Constructive Feedback Like a Human
Humility and self-reflection strengthen leaders for the battle. Click here to check out, The Vagrant: The Inner Journey of Leadership. It’s a wonderful tool for leaders facing challenges.
Check for Openness
Ask for permission before offering feedback. For example, “Are you open to some feedback about the report you presented?” For additional ideas, ask ChatGPT: “What are some different ways to ask for permission to give feedback in various workplace situations?”
It’s hard to say no to that question, especially if the boss is asking. However, it’s still useful when asked with humility.
I like your tip to focus on the future – leaders should practice more “feedforward” instead of feedback. Also, my new favorite saying is to hold people “capable” instead of accountable. If they are capable of overcoming the behavior, make sure you lead with that. Reassure them that you know they can do it.
Love, “hold them capable.” I’ve never liked the expression, “Holding people accountable,” even though we all need accountability.
“I noticed you cut people off in our meeting. It’s important that people participate. Let’s talk about how to make sure everyone feels heard.”
This is excellent – I really think most people hearing this would make an honest attempt to correct. Super blog post – also loved the positive feedback statements.
A forward-facing conversation is more energizing than trying to fix the past. Which can’t be fixed anyway. Cheers