Understand the Tug of Avoidance

The longer you run from something the stronger it grips you.

Avoidance makes leaders small.

Procrastination promises relief but delivers distress.

Dodging responsibilities trades discomfort for disconnection.

“Avoidance will make you feel less vulnerable in the short run, but it will never make you less afraid.”—Dr. Harriet Lerner

7 Ways Avoidance Shows Up

1. Putting off challenging conversations.
2. Dodging feedback and reflection.
3. Ignoring team dysfunction.
4. Refusing to face burnout.
5. Saying “I’m too busy” when it’s fear.
6. Hiding in busywork.
7. Saying “yes” to avoid conflict.

When You Avoid…

1. Trust deteriorates when issues go unaddressed.
2. Stress escalates when leaders delay action.
3. Clarity vanishes when feedback is postponed.
4. Culture decays when dysfunction is ignored.

4 Ways to Overcome the Tug to Avoid

#1. Name What You’re Avoiding

You can’t lead what you won’t face. Naming gives you power. It’s a beginning.

Ask: What am I pretending not to see?

#2. Face Fear

Procrastination isn’t about time.

Ask: What’s the fear behind my hesitation? Or what’s the worst that could happen?

#3. Design a 10-minute action

Action shrinks what avoidance inflates.

You don’t need to feel bold, just do something that matters now.

Discomfort now prevents regret later.

Start small: Make the call. Write the draft. Schedule the meeting.

#4. Rewrite the narrative

Avoidance whispers, “This will crush you.” Truth says, “This will grow you.”

How is this a growth opportunity?

Final Thoughts

Putting discomfort off is natural. Leadership is intentional.

Avoidance delays discomfort but multiplies regret.

Choose discomfort over delay.

Choose growth over fear.

How are you dealing with the tug of putting off uncomfortable responsibilities?

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