Why Vacations Don’t Work
The modern approach to solving stress is some form of escape. The trouble is, sometimes that’s good advice.
- Forget your troubles.
- Take vacations.
- Clear your mind.
- Set boundaries.
- Breathe deep.
Popping the cork on pressure provides renewal. But leadership includes strength to lean in, not escape.
Vacations Don’t Work
When it comes to emotional strength, escape is destructive.
Research says the benefits of vacations fade almost immediately.
Those who dig into their distress grow.
Those who avoid distress lose strength to bear it.
Don’t let “getting away from it all define you.” Don’t live centered on your next chance to escape. Find strength.
3 Ways to Find Strength to Lead
When a vacation isn’t the answer, strength is.
#1. Name It
Reality is better than fantasy. Don’t fake calmness. Be honest. Be specific.
Instead of saying, “I’m stressed,” try “I’m frustrated because things feel out of control,” or “I’m disappointed in how that conversation went.”
Don’t say you feel bad when you feel disrespected. Name it. Dealing with generic bad feelings is different from facing disrespect.
#2. Lock Arms
You always need others to thrive. Always.
Tap your allies. Strength flows from connection. Seek helpers.
Be a helper. Encouraging others renews you.
You aren’t going far when you go alone.
#3. Find a Reason
Why bother pressing through if it doesn’t matter? Meaning sustains effort.
The strength of purpose:
- Grit: A leader with purpose has reason to fight through adversity. “He who has a why to live for can bear with almost any how.” Nietzsche
- Decisions: Any choice will do when you don’t have purpose.
- Boundaries: Say yes to purpose so you can reject distraction.
You can’t escape your way to greatness.
You can find strength to lead.
What do you do to increase strength?
What are some benefits of vacations?
4 Unexpected Sources of Strength Available to Tired Leaders
and find ways to nourish yourself daily…
Thanks for stopping in today. We have to fuel the engine. Cheers
Dan, I like what you’ve shared about why vacations don’t work. As a solo professional I haven’t had an official vacation in quite some time, like almost ten years and have been “stressing” that I haven’t had one and I need one. This made me think of the word vacation in a whole new light. I know sometimes I need to simply rest. Not like sleep but pull completely away from everything. There is a rhythm to the way I work and I need to honor that. Not follow someone else’s blueprint to HOW I SHOULD do anything. I also love what you said about naming what’s happening. We use phrases like stressed out or burnt out without really defining and seeking clarity over what’s actually happening. The other school of thought is that sometimes we are in a role that doesn’t align, doing work that may not resonate, so what we’re calling burnt out is actually mal-alignment, but that’s perhaps a topic for another day. Appreciate your dedication to leadership Dan.
Thanks for sharing your reflections today. We don’t vacation a lot either. Life is so much fun a vacation would be a letdown. 😉
Variety seems like a useful word in this context. It’s great to do things that give us a return on the energy we invest. I wish you well.
Vacations are a mixed bag of variation. They can have purpose: Renew friendships, learn a skill, relax and decompress, see new sights, etc. And these can all be distractions from the everyday “stress” of life. They don’t make the ordinary tasks of life go away. I’ve found that everyday I need to “get a win.” The feeling that I accomplished something productive. That’s why keeping a task list or notes every day is essential. Checking off the big ones is a stress reliever. When we worked in the office (remember that?), a group of us played card games a lunch everyday. We discovered that even the hope of getting a win was enough to relieve some of the stress of the day. And the fun, laughter and comradery was an added benefit.