Self-Sabotage: Stop Tripping Over Yourself

You can’t outrun self-sabotage.

But you can outsmart it.

5 Subtle Expressions of Self-Sabotage

#1. Grabbing control

Leaders love control, but influence requires permission. Control freaks sabotage themselves.

The more control you grab, the less influence you keep.

Controlling leaders are frustrated and over-worked.

#2. Hoarding power

Your title makes it easy to make others feel powerless. Power is intoxicating. When you hoard it, you isolate yourself.

The more power you take, the more isolated you feel.

To expand power, you must let it go.

#3. Competing with your team

You control resources, raises, and opportunities. It’s easy to “win” at other people’s expense.

Step back. Let others win. When they win, you thrive.

#4. Knowing more

Leaders who must be the smartest create the dumb teams.

Stop proving you know more. Start learning from everyone.

#5. Needing to be right

Your way isn’t always the best way.

When others have expertise, trust their judgment.

Say: I could be wrong, out loud.

3 Ways to Overcome Self-Sabotage

#1. Stop bullying yourself

Don’t beat yourself down with aspiration. Self-criticism drains energy you need for progress.

Write down what your critic says. Don’t judge it. Just record it. When it’s ridiculous, reject it. When it’s accurate, act on it.

Get in the habit of beginning again.

#2. Catch triggers

Notice the situations, people, or emotions that push you toward destructive habits.

Pause before reacting.

Choose a response that serves your goals.

#3. Replace perfection with progress

Perfection feeds accusation.

Ask, “What’s the next best step?”

How do people get in their own way?

Which behavior—if you stopped it today—would boost your leadership?

The #1 Self-Defeating Behavior That Brings Leaders Down

Self-Sabotaging: Why We Do It and How to Stop the Cycle