Flattery Fools Bob Bumblehoof
Bob Bumblehoof bursts into the conference room, arms full of balloons. “Recognition time!” He’s beaming like he invented the concept. The team knows what’s coming. Bob is enamored with Gary the brown-noser.
Gary glows when Bumblehoof shows up. He laughs at stupid jokes and agrees with dumb ideas. He showers his boss with over-the-top compliments.
Bob is too naïve to lead. He thinks flattery is sincere. The team knows it’s manipulation.
Impact of Flattery:
The danger of flattery is it works.
- Leaders influenced by manipulative compliments look like amateurs. Gullibility isn’t inspiring, it’s embarrassing. Susceptibility signals lack of discernment.
- Observers roll their eyes and swap jokes over coffee. They resent the flatterer, the boss, and the organization that tolerates it.
- Team members disengage because advancement is based on favoritism.
Notice Manipulation:
When someone always laughs loudest at stupid jokes, that’s not humor, that’s strategy.
- Look for over-the-top compliments that are unrelated to work performance.
- Watch for bobbleheads. Brown-nosers always agree with the boss.
- Stay alert for praise before requests.
The Flattery-Proof Leader
Seek substance, not sugar.
Compliments are dessert. Results are the meal. Pay attention to contributions. Notice what people actually do, not what they say.
Invite feedback.
Ask your team what isn’t working. Reward candor quickly. Say, “Thank you for saying that,” in front of the team.
Check motives.
When praise is followed by requests, pause. Ask: “Would this compliment exist without the favor that follows?”
Level the playing field.
Publicly recognize contributions. Make advancement feel fair.
Notice your need for approval.
You’re a puppet when you crave applause. Leaders who know they like praise are less likely to be blinded by it.
Self-awareness clears your vision.
Flattery feels like a hug, but it’s a leash. Don’t be Bob Bumblehoof. He doesn’t lead. He’s led.
How can leaders protect themselves and others from the dangers of flattery?
How do you see bosses manipulated by employees?
Read: How to Spot and Overcome Manipulation
Research:
Coming soon: Bumblehoof proves himself.
What truly saddens and scares me is that the leader of the United States of America thrives on flattery, rewards it (cabinet posts, government contracts) and threatens those who do not agree with him, tell truths he does not want known or fails to applaud him. He recently did this to the Generals and top brass of the US Military. Shocked he did not receive applause when he came on stage, he said ” “If you want to applaud, you can applaud. [no applause] If you don’t like what I’m saying, you can leave the room — of course, there goes your rank and your future”.
I and others, as you wrote, “resent the flatterer, the boss, and the organization that tolerates it.”
I would argue that everyone in politics is a narcissist. It seems that those who thrive on power and influence seek out political careers, the altruist has been pushed aside long ago.