The Ingratitude Cleanse
Ingratitude leaves you feeling small, blind, anxious, and resentful. It corrupts the past, present, and future.
The life you don’t want waits behind an unthankful heart.
#1. Past
The past is distorted by rehearsing injuries. Those lacking gratitude fixate on unmet expectations.
Ingrates forget the kindness of others. People who help, forgive, and open doors. Blindness to kindness exposes arrogance.
#2. Present
The present turns toxic when you ignore good. Gifts become entitlements.
Unthankful leaders stumble over opportunities. When you focus on what’s missing you can’t see what’s possible.
#3. Future
Ingratitude scoffs at progress and obsesses over lack. It tells others they’re losers. They’re never good enough. They can’t be trusted. They give up.
Unthankful leaders see a dark, scary future.
Cleanse 3 Toxic Practices
- Rehearsing hurts.
- Overlooking good.
- Expecting disappointment.
3 Simple Ways to Cleanse Ingratitude
Everything is easier with gratitude.
#1. Accept ungratefulness.
Fake it till you make it might get you moving, but denial traps you.
Write an “Ungrateful List.” Don’t debate it. Just write it. Make it long. Free your mind to focus on other things. Start now.
#2. Focus on YOUR responsibilities.
When the source of ingratitude is within your control, do something about it.
When it’s out of your control, let it go. (You’ll be letting go a lot.)
#3. Express gratitude.
Don’t pretend you’re grateful.
Don’t wait to feel it. Practice it.
- “I’m thankful we have room to improve.”
- “I’m thankful to learn about this problem before it gets worse.”
- “I’m thankful for the talented people on our team.”
You can’t thrive in leadership until you cleanse ingratitude. Gratitude isn’t decoration. It’s direction.
Don’t wait for a perfect life to be grateful.
What’s on your gratitude list?
What’s on your ingratitude list?
How Gratitude Transforms Burden to Opportunity
Yes, cultivate gratitude. When I taught high schoolers and heard complaints about anything, I’d simply remind them that they had been born in the USA, and NOT in another country [perhaps one which would forbid the education of young women] and they’d been born in the 21st century and not at an earlier time. They are richer than 90% of the world. They have choices others can’t even dream of. And the complaining would stop. I preach this to myself, too.
Happy Thanksgiving!
Absolutely agree, Dan! Gratitude will always frames the mind to be not only being thankful of life that is given to us but also makes us forward-looking by filling us with hope and encouragement. While the opposite, as you describe corrodes life. Thanks for this great piece and happy thanks giving!
I started the list, looked at the first five items, and thought, “This is a Resentment List, not an Ungrateful List.” It was easy to write the accompanying ingratitudes. Maybe resentment and ingratitude are besties.
Writing down the ungrateful for list – great idea. keep it as long as possible was another good one.
self reflection during and after the list (if one still manages to write a list !) will provide the desired remedy and make him/her grateful.
Thank you Dan. Grateful for your sharing these ideas.