The Superhero of Compassion
You don’t need strength to show compassion. It’s the opposite.
Frailty is the channel of tenderness.
The “strong” say, “What’s the problem? Don’t be a baby.” A tender heart doesn’t act strong.
Who Shows Compassion
People who suffer well develop tenderness. But when bitterness takes root, hostility replaces kindness.
Resentment poisons your soul.
- Angry victims have no room to care for others.
- Feeling powerless chokes kindness.
- Sowing discord nurtures anger.
Forgiveness is the garden of tenderness. But when you coddle offenses, an open heart goes dark.
Open hearted leaders notice the pain of others. Kindness says, “Now I know how others feel.” Personal distress makes tenderness natural.
Pain is an opening that cracks your ego. Humility has room for others. Hubris centers on self.
Benefits of Compassion
Tragedy is a resource when it opens your heart.
Hostility builds silos. A tender heart builds networks.
A tender heart…
- Makes it safe to deal with problems.
- Fuels energy because people feel understood.
- Energizes commitment. Effort feels worthwhile.
- Motivates growth. Mistakes lead to learning.
- Builds trust. Those you stand with will stand with you.
The superhero of compassion is someone who suffers well.
Tenderness is a choice made in the shadow of frailty.
Resentment makes you ugly. Compassion radiates beauty.
Project: Notice one person’s pain. Respond with curiosity.
How can leaders show tenderness and challenge people to excel at the same time?
Unlock the Heart of Leadership
How to do Hard Things in a Human Way HBR
Before expecting people to excel, you must understand what’s holding them back. Compassion helps you see what people are thinking and feeling, which builds the trust needed to find the real issue.
Thanks for speaking up for compassion, in a world of confrontation.
This is so true. I find gratitude adds perspective which keeps me from pride. All my advantages are gifts of grace. So I have nothing to brag about, which means I may not, must not look down on others. Rather I come along side them to share their grief, to walk with them in their struggles.
Caring for my aging father, followed by his death, and a cancer diagnosis have built my capacity for compassion. I’m much more inclined to listen.