Your Ego the Saboteur
Egoless is a myth.
Ego reacts before you think. It defends before you listen. It pushes before you understand.
“The busier and more overwhelmed we are, the more our Ego runs our show.” Your Ego Is Showing by Christie Garcia
3 Expressions of Ego
#1. The Complier
You comply to keep the peace. You feel like a martyr. You say “yes” to be liked. Later you say “no” through passive-aggression.
#2. The Protector
You stay distant and rational. Logic avoids vulnerability. Objectivity is a mask for defensiveness.
#3. The Controller
You have to win. You mistake compliance for commitment. You need to be right and end up with disengaged teams.
Self-sabotage shows up in automatic responses. You react. Tensions rise. A deadline slips and fast words spew out. Tone tightens. Ears close.
Leadership begins when reaction slows down and intention steps in.
Action Items
#1. Name the Reaction.
The moment you feel defensive, stop. Is this you or is this your Protector trying to hide?
Ask “What am I protecting?” Are you protecting your reputation, your “rightness,” or your comfort?
When you’re protecting yourself, you aren’t serving your team.
#2. Audit Your “Yes.”
If you’re a Complier, don’t agree quickly. Wait 24 hours. See what happens when you prioritize truth over being liked.
#3. Loosen Your Grip.
Controllers squeeze the life out of people.
Ask for “Ugly” feedback. Ask a peer: “How does my ego get in the way of our progress?” Listen without explaining.
When you hear an idea, don’t automatically disagree, ask, “How did you arrive at that conclusion?” Listen to understand.
Adjust Defaults
- If you push, listen longer.
- If you avoid, speak sooner.
- If you guard, open a little.
Don’t eliminate ego. Manage it.
What do you see most frequently? Complier, Protector, or Controller?
This post is based on the new book, Your Ego is Showing by Christie Garcia with Michelle Kicherer.
Added Resource: The Mirrors That Help You See Yourself
