The Introvert’s Guide to Networking: One Conversation at a Time
Book Giveaway!!
20 copies available!!
Leave a comment on this guest post by Jennifer Marcou to become eligible for one of 20 complimentary copies of her new book, Lead with Quiet Confidence: A Practical Guide to Success for Introvert.
Deadline for eligibility is 10/11/2026. International winners will receive an electronic version.
My hands were sweating. I felt like a middle-schooler waiting to be asked to dance. The problem? I was at a networking event.
As an introvert, I dread networking. I dislike crowds. Small talk drains me. So I usually avoid it.
That night, I noticed someone standing at the edge of the room. I walked over and asked a simple question:
“What did you think of the speakers?”
I was genuinely curious. The conversation flowed. We discovered common interests. We connected on LinkedIn. Months later, he invited me onto his podcast.
That experience changed how I think about networking.
Networking is just one conversation at a time.
I didn’t need to work the room. I didn’t need to be outgoing. I just needed to lean into my strengths.
Introverts gain energy in solitude. Ballrooms full of strangers can feel exhausting. Here’s what helps.
4 Ways Introverts Can Network More Effectively
- Use your strengths.
Observe. Listen. Ask thoughtful questions. You don’t need to be the most interesting person in the room. You just have to be the most interested. - Prepare before you arrive.
Bring two curious questions and one personal statement that goes beyond title and company.
Ask:
- “What’s your biggest takeaway so far?”
- “What are you working on that’s exciting right now?”
Share:
- “I help introverts increase their impact without changing who they are.”
- Start with familiar faces.
Talk with someone you know first. Then branch out one conversation at a time. - Choose your environment.
Look for people standing alone or on the edge of the crowd. Suggest coffee or a virtual follow-up for a deeper conversation.
Networking for introverts is about extending your strengths one step farther.
Who will you start a conversation with today?
BIO
Jennifer Marcou is a highly sought-after international coach and speaker specializing in introverted leadership. Jennifer has spoken at prestigious global events, including Forbes Under 30, Create & Cultivate, and New York University. She is the author of Lead with Quiet Confidence: A Practical Guide to Success for Introverts, a book on introverted leadership, launching October 6, 2026.
As Ivan Misner would say, ” Be interested first, before you become interesting. ” Great guideline for networking.
Years ago, I struggled in rooms full of strangers. My instinct was to find a spot with my back to the wall and search for the safest conversation possible. My counselor put me through what he called “training over trying.” He would send me to the mall and challenge me to sit beside older men waiting for their spouses to finish shopping. My assignment was simple: learn about their lives and careers. Two conversations per trip. At first it was terrible, absolutely agonizing. But after enough repetitions, something changed. I began looking forward to it. I learned that confidence isn’t something you wait for. Confidence is the result of training. The workplace, leadership, and life work much the same way. We grow not by trying harder, but by deliberately practicing the things that make us uncomfortable until they become part of who we are.
That’s a great story! Thank you for sharing. I am curious how things now go in rooms full of strangers…have you found anyone “waiting for their spouses to finish shopping”? And how do those conversations go?
Rob,
I can relate to that more than you might think. A room full of strangers is still work. Having a few prepared questions is a tremendous advantage because it takes the pressure off trying to think of something to say in the moment.
My favorite question has become:
“What is your biggest concern about your position or your company this year?”
It almost always opens the door to a meaningful conversation and helps move beyond small talk into understanding the person. People generally appreciate being asked about something that matters to them.
What is interesting is that one-on-one interactions are no longer a challenge. Put me in a grocery store, a lumberyard, or a local restaurant, and I am completely comfortable. My family is amazed by how many people I know and how much I know about their lives. I genuinely enjoy hearing people’s stories and learning what is important to them.
One of the great joys now is teaching my grandchildren how to interact with people with kindness and curiosity. In a world where many people are glued to their phones, simply looking someone in the eye, smiling, asking a question, and listening can make a real difference.
Even at 67, I can still feel myself slipping at times. These habits are not “conquered” once and forever. They need exercised, just like a muscle. I still practice from time to time, although not at malls anymore. Ironically, malls seem to offer fewer opportunities for real conversation than they once did.
What I have learned is that confidence in social situations is not something we finally achieve. It is something we continue to practice. The good news is that practice gets easier, and the rewards keep growing because every conversation is an opportunity to encourage someone and learn something new.
Thank you for the follow up
Scott
Great insights! Thank you immensely for sharing, Dan and Jennifer. I am an introvert who has learned how to get results in unique ways. Those lessons resonated deeply with me.
Great Post – also having a couple prearranged questions in the back of your mind to ask other people really help I like the one you mentioned above What’s something exciting you’re working on now?
Interesting read. Advice like leveraging active listening and preparing thoughtful questions beforehand are useful from my experience. It makes presence manageable in meetings and social gatherings.
For an introvert, following up after an event through emails, 1-on-1 chats or regular communication can be difficult. After spending a lot of energy during the event, they need some time to recharge. Because of this, they may delay reaching out and feel that it is already too late, which can sometimes lead to losing good professional connections.
As an introvert, I often use my solitude for preparation, contemplation, & introspection. Being what most would refer to as an empath, in addition to being an introvert does make networking a room very draining. Some people see it as a disadvantage or a handicap. But I’ve learned to use my strengths that I’ve gained from being an introvert such as listening, preparation, & subtleness, even when the cards aren’t dealt in my favor. ” Life isn’t always a matter of holding good cards, but sometimes playing a poor hand well.” – Jack London
I’m not sure why my comment is displayed as being from noisilyc7te2c139, because I am a subscriber (Darius Blakeney).
I am an introvert and will try to find familiar faces and someone at the edge of the crowd. I definitely will use this information to improve my networking skills.
Great thoughts. Being an introvert it is all about making a difference one person at a time and follow up quickly! How do you climb a mountain, one step at a time! Allow yourself smaller manageable goals.
I’m an observer first, reading the room listening and find the person who has my interest. I do not particularly seek out the smartest in thr room. I’m more interested in the similar subject.
Thanks for sharing this! It’s such an important topic for introverts. This can be a crippling situation for many.
Definately a book that would help.
Networking and ice breakers are my least favorites! This information is very helpful.
What a great idea to see who else might be standing alone. And love the idea of starting with a question, you’re genuinely curious about is much better for me than coming in, trying to prove myself. If I do know someone at the event, I often start with them, and then they likely know someone else and we connect and keep growing our circle.
As an extreme introvert, networking and large social gatherings are incredibly uncomfortable for me…sometimes to the point of feeling physically nauseous. Over time, I have developed strategies that allow me to navigate these situations, even though they are definitely not something I enjoy. I found this information helpful, particularly the reminder that networking does not have to mean working the entire room. Definitely another tool to add to the toolbox!
Helpful to understand how introverts operate in order to support and collaborate effectively in this space
I am an introvert. I own it, and networking is super difficult. The idea of having two questions before going into a networking event is helpful. It is even helpful when I am asked to meet other team members as they on board to a different team.
Our growth tribe has recently started talking about personal branding for introverts, and this aligns with what we’re finding/learning. There are many more introverts than extroverts out there.
I too am an introvert and have found networking to be challenging, including showing up to do it early at events or at the social gatherings after, and draining. If a conference l lasted multiple days, my compromise was to do the social events/networking one day, and give myself permission if I wished to spend the second evening on my own. Love the specific habits one can build around being prepared with several curious questions, and seeking out others at the room’s perimeter. Exhibiting curiosity is a great mindset!
Interesting, I needed this as I have been fighting with my leadership role as an introvert-leaning person. Feeling like my best work is as an individual contributor and that my supervisory duties are draining me. Maybe that is true, but this has given me food for thought. Thank you.
Being an introvert and in a room full of extroverted networkers is usually great until it the fatigue sets in. This article was insightful and I resonated with the strategy of “One conversation at a time,” and preparing questions. Great article.
I feel it depends on the meeting content.
It’s harder for me to network if I’m not engaged in the topic(s).
As for networking on it’s own, you are right, it is one conversation at a time.
It depends on your goal. If you are looking for someone to actually work with and not just “collect names”, then you need some prepared questions and a story of what you wanting to do.
You have to be interested and interesting.
I am an extroverted introvert; I will make myself introduce myself to people but the conversation sometimes stops after the first few basic questions that I ask! The suggestion of being interested instead of interesting is so helpful. I will try to put these tools to practice! I would love a copy of Jennifer’s book, sounds very helpful!
I definitely need to read the book!
I am curious if the book also addresses networking in a one on one scenario. Many years ago I was criticized by a supervisor for not randomly making contact with “prominent” members of the community and inviting them out for coffee or lunch. Also, an earlier comment on this blog seemed to suggest introverts lack confidence, which is why they dislike networking and meeting new people. From life experience I can tell you I’ve met plenty of extroverts that lack confidence; not all introverts lack confidence.
I’m good with one-on-one conversation once it gets going, but definitely see myself as an introvert. Meeting new people is not comfortable for me. These are some great tips.
To be interesting, be interested!
This seems like a insightful text for an introvert like me!
Engaging with strangers has always been a challenge for me but have found often it can lead to valuable long-term relationships, so I make it a priority to continue to reach out … out of my comfort zone.
I was just recently at a conference as a sponsor. Sitting out in the “sponsor area” I was talking to others that attended about how drained we get at these events as introverts. Don’t get me wrong, a lot of the time, I come home energized by the ideas presented at the conferences, but my social battery is drained. Would love to learn ways to protect that so I can be my best self during and after these events.
As an introvert, I have found that the questions I ask are one my greatest strengths. They are able to direct the flow of the conversation into deeper and more meaningful places. Solitude is good for both preparing for the event and recharging afterwards.
There is good advice here for ambiverts (like me)! Taking time to prepare questions and statements in advance helps me feel more comfortable in new situations. I also think “networking happens one conversation at a time” is applicable for everyone because it is about making personal connections that are lasting, not how many business cards you can collect in a day.
I am an introvert, and the advice I got early in my career about networking stressed me out so much that I felt like an instant failure. I was told to create an elevator pitch, go to events and talk to lots of people, and other suggestions that made me want to crawl back into bed. Later I realized that my style doesn’t have to be like everyone else’s style. I am trying now to stay in touch with people, even when it feels awkward after a long time. I’ve found that most folks are excited to hear from me and don’t seem to be upset that I didn’t reach out for a long time. After all, communication is a two way street! I’m looking forward to reading this book for more tips.
I find myself fluctuating between being introverted and extroverted depending on the situation. I really didn’t think that was possible to do without prior planning, but it happens, and I’m not sure why!
Perfectly stated. As a career-long successful introvert in an industry that requires connection, engagement, and a little out of body public speaking, this is how it’s done! Thank you Jennifer.
I am very interested in growing as a leader, though finding the confidence to do so has always been tough for me as an introvert. Thank you for the inspiration to approach leadership ‘one conversation at a time’—that perspective makes it feel completely achievable.
As an introvert who has worked hard to feel more at ease in rooms full of strangers, I found these strategies valuable. One statement especially stood out: “You don’t need to be the most interesting person in the room. You just have to be the most interested.” That simple shift in perspective brings a sense of calm and takes the pressure off.
I think the networking suggestions for introverts is “spot on”. I dread networking events, especially where I don’t know anyone else (to start at least).. I like the idea of looking for others that are likely feeling much the same way (standing to the side).
People always find it odd that I would rather be on the stage speaking in front of hundreds of people, than in the middle of those hundreds of people, being asked what I do for a living. I love how she stated, “small talk drains me.” I can relate! The loud, outgoing, center of attention type of person will cause me to immediately back away. Interestingly, the place I feel the most outgoing and don’t mind “working a room,” is at church…not because I have to be, but because I genuinely want to be. Ms. Marcou is absolutely correct…one person at a time. At church, I find the person who looks confused, uncomfortable, and maybe a little displaced and I make an attempt to welcome them. I should take the same approach at any event.
Great read…thank you.
I have never had a problem in a crowd or with a crowd but the rest of my family dreads the situation which usually means I have to leave before I want to leave or they leave early if possible. I know they naturally find the others who feel the same way, which is networking too, ironically. I will be sharing this leadership freak with them.
I would much prefer to speak to 1000 people over networking. Great advice!
I agree that speaking to multiple people at any presentation can be daunting, but I love the concept of one conversation which is actually something I have found effective in my past so nice reminder
As an introvert it is difficult for me to feel confident in a room even when leading a meeting of my peers. I will have to practice this approach to see if it works for me. Thanks for the timely post as I have many large-scale meetings this next month.
I don’t have a problem with networking, but it is the follow up that is much harder. Seems like people run out of things to talk about outside the very surface level. Maybe I am finding it hard to stay interested when there are not much in common.
Oh my gosh! I just got back from a conference and am having all the “OH MY GOODNESS! IF I’D ONLY KNOWN” moments.
I consider myself an extroverted introvert –
I can “turn it on” in public settings, but it’s exhausting and I find myself needing to recharge. I am good with “turn to your neighbor and share” moments. I’m even comfortable with a microphone in front of 500 people. But “networking opportunities” are giant stress producers.
All of which to say, thank you! This is very helpful.
What a thoughtful post!
I am suffering through this very issue right now. The company I work for has 15 locations across the U.S. For years I’ve thought that there should be established networks, email distros, teams chats etc for us to be able to communicate across locations but it just isn’t there. The issue is that I’ve always felt like I needed someone to give it to me. The thought of making it happen myself is immensely stressful. To make it worse, I’ve got to go to our corporate office and do meet and greets and happy hour and the works in just a couple of weeks. I’ve known about it for a couple of months but just the idea of it all has thus far prevented me from even booking the ticket.
I’m still an introvert, but ended up getting a job that required me to be an extrovert, talking in front of crowds, interviews, etc. Being curious about others has helped a lot, and these suggestions are great. This also helps in a leadership position. It is tough to be an introvert while leading others. You need to remain curious about those you lead.
It seems so simple, but we know it takes courage. Thank you for sharing was to be courages and giving some starter questions!
Thanks, Dan. I’m an introvert. And I’m shy. And I’m a pastor! Go figure.
I use a variation of this question quite often, “What are you working on that’s exciting right now?” Something like “what’s got you energized?” Or “what are you most anticipating in the next few weeks or months?” [that could be good or bad] A question I’ve used more recently is “if you had to write a book, what would it be about?”
Thank you for the thoughts today. People don’t believe me since I do a lot of speaking, coaching, and counseling, but I struggle in crowds. These are some skills I have used and others I will start using. Thank you again for the post!
Thank you. I appreciate that being an introverted leader is being addressed. I tend to be extremely self-conscious and have great anxiety about networking. I told someone recently that I always feel as though I am part of someone else’s conversation, so I tend to avoid them. I am good though at encouraging others to be more confident. I will follow your suggestions in the future to overcome my anxiety.
Being an introvert should be seen as a superpower. While the extrovert is often working the room and being a part of the attention, if not sometimes the center of the attention, the introvert is noticing the small details and nuances of the bigger picture and they are able to use that information to contribute to the team and its goals in a positive way. And introvert should be on every team.
Networking is hard work when you are normally an introvert! Thank you for the helpful tips!
Leveraging the natural tendencies of being an introvert into strengths is an excellent point. And “one conversation at a time” really sums up what networking really is.
I had to learn to be an extrovert when my husband suffered a TBI. I needed to converse with the health care workers and be friendly and outgoing. A lesson I learned from a friend. I had carried me far in every aspect of life.
Networking has always been difficult for me. I appreciate this topic today as I have been pushing myself to ‘get out there.’ This will help me think of approaching networking differently.
I will try to implement Jennifer’s tips on engaging with a familiar face and coming prepared with questions and observations. My challenge, though, is to not talk myself out of the observation or question. I think of reasons why the other person may not be interested. Also, I have to work on transitioning from the person I know to others in the room. If I can approach the situation as “one conversation at a time,” I can achieve success, one person at a time. That will be manageable in my head.
Love it, don’t need to be interesting just be interested!
As an introvert and a leader, this really resonated with me. I love the suggestions and ideas, especially the idea of having pre-scripted questions you can refer to and rely on. Excellent post. Thank you for sharing this, and I love how it points out that being an introvert isn’t a disadvantage or a negative.
I appreciate the “most interested.”
I tend to already ask “to many” questions or at least I feel that way.
This gives me a new outlook.
Thank you.
This is an extremely helpful post and the book looks amazing. I am a certified Gallup CliftonStrengths Coach and encounter many individuals who are battling with networking, influencing, and building relationship with leaders in their companies. They go unseen while being the backbone to many successful organizations. While extroverts steal the show and get all the attention and promotions. This book would be a helpful tool to help introverts make connections and comfortably come out of the shadows.