You Change When You See
People change when they see what they didn’t see.
When you disrupt automatic thinking, people…
- Examine their beliefs.
- Test their assumptions.
- Discover the stories shaping their perceptions.
New perception. New action.
4 Things to See Differently
#1. See yourself differently.
You can’t change what you refuse to see.
“I’m not bad at conflict. I’m afraid of disappointing people.”
“I’m not overwhelmed because I have too much to do. I’m overwhelmed because I refuse to say no.”
Hold the mirror. Help people think about their thinking. Help them see themselves.
#2. See others differently.
“That employee isn’t resistant. She doesn’t feel heard.”
“My boss isn’t trying to control me. He’s worried about the outcome.”
Judgment narrows perception. Curiosity expands it.
When you need to prove you’re better than others, you create distance.
Seeing others differently begins with seeing yourself differently.
#3. See the world differently.
“This is a disaster” becomes, “What can I learn?”
“We’ve always done it this way” becomes, “What else could work?”
We don’t simply respond to circumstances. We respond to what circumstances mean to us.
Change the meaning. Change the response.
#4. See what’s possible.
“I can’t” becomes, “I haven’t figured out how.”
“There are no options” becomes, “What haven’t I considered?”
Insight changes perception.
New eyes reveal new solutions.
Coach for Seeing
Instead of rushing to solve someone’s problem, ask:
- What are you seeing about yourself?
- How else might you see this person?
- What assumption is shaping how you see this situation?
- What possibility can you see now that you couldn’t see before?
You change when you see.
What do you need to see differently today? Who?
Solution Saturday: How to Change Perceptions – Leadership Freak
This post is inspired by Marsha Reynolds’s book Coach the Person Not the Problem.
