Grateful for gratitude
We play a part in the progress of people around us.
Our evaluations, suggestions, and tweaks of their behavior may or may not be helpful.
One thing is certain. Positive comments, gratitude, and encouragements have power to fuel another’s fire. (I’m speaking in generalities and not absolutes.)
My own story
I’m grateful for the gratitude and encouragement I receive from the Leadership Freak community. It’s energizing. It’s encouraging. It’s motivating.
I know intrinsic motivation is at the core of our behaviors. However, the positive tweets, emails, and comments both on my blog and on the phone bolster my courage to continue with the experiment I call Leadership Freak.
I have been thinking of the power of positive comments. They add fuel to a fire that already exists. They make the path more exciting. Please don’t misunderstand. I’m not thinking about quitting with Leadership Freak. However, I have been thinking about how different I’d be right now without all the positive reinforcement. How much more difficult writing the Leadership Freak blog would be.
This post is not a lame attempt to elicit gratitude from the Leadership Freak community. It is an attempt at reminding all of us, me included, that we have the power to help others along their path.
Positive reinforcements fuel the fire of others. I’m encouraging you not to be stingy with gratitude, encouragement, and positive feedback. Leverage your power for good. It’s incredibly easy.
Perhaps the greatest untapped resource in the world is the untapped influence of unspoken words that could have fueled others.
I’m grateful for gratitude.
Leadership Freak,
Dan Rockwell
Dear Dan,
Unspoken words are more powerful to help people progress around us. But what are those unspoken words? Those are our belief, trust and realisation created and nurtured by relations, emotions, and feelings. Leadership freak has played the same role. It has created relations, connected emotions and understood feelings of people bonded with it. I appreciate the effort taken to make all these things to happen slowly, sometimes simultaneously or suddenly. Perseverence is leadership and you have proved it and outcome is satisfying, inspiring, awakening,searching the new paradigm of self and society.
When we talk about motivation, I agree that nothing is more powerful than instrinsic reward. It is nurturing, feeling, sensitizing and empathy etc. Integrity plays a sustainable and unlimited role to create a culture of collective and integrative development. So, I believe that leadership freak will evolve in more creative and innovative way increasing the essense and spirit of entire community.
I have been in several situations where I was responding to an employee, typically to their request for a pay increase or a change in title or something else that they had requested. Over the years, I have wondered why they uniformly replied (with some variation, but this was the theme “But I have worked SO hard.”) These are situations where I was not granting whatever request they had made, and as years have gone by, I continue to wonder when I or our organization could have expressed some small sentiment of gratitude. Maybe we couldn’t give a raise or change in title — maybe it was not warranted for that employee — but clearly they at some point felt unappreciated. I think we need to be much more intentional about expressing gratitude to our coworkers and subordinates – not simpering gratitude but the positive “stuff” that so often gets outweighed by the metrics and negative content.
I agree Dan…when people show gratitude I am more motivated to do more for them. Gratitude helps!
Hi Dan
You’re so right.
In the day-to-day murk of work, we deal with problems and issues. Gratitude is something which doesn’t come thick and fast. When we solve a problem it normally gets a “tick” next to it on the “to-do list”.
Taking the time to offer gratuitude is important. Obviously being genuine and sincere is vital. But what about the idea of accepting gratitude?
I know that when I’m given praise I sometimes feel uncomfortable with it and so I go about getting back to my “to-do” list.
Stopping, reflecting and understanding gratitude helps us grow.
Many thanx
mg
Dan – lovely post. I find I have a double standard here. For what comes out of me towards others, I aspire to be 100% authentic and 90% positive. When criticism is appropriate, I want to provide it clearly, without mixed messages, but in the context of a supportive relationship.
For what comes towards me, however, I am trying to cultivate gratitude regardless of the message. If positive, the response is easy. But if negative, I hope to recognize a chance to learn, or practice patience, or open new dialog.
The universe is so generous in the feedback it makes available to us. In all cases, the response I aspire to have in my heart is “thank you.”
Great post, Dan.
Gratitude is one of the most powerful forces available to humankind: both in giving AND receiving.
Thank you.
Dear Dan,
Expressing gratitude is a matter of habit and that requires empathy towards others. One needs to respect others and their level of efforts in enabling you to do good things in life, be it work place or otherwise.
Can we not start this habit from our home? Our beloved parents, wife, house-maid, nespaper vendor & milk man deserve the most of gratitude for their level of relentless support. We can imbibe this good habit in our children by setting a good example. I even go to the extent of saying ‘thanks’ and ‘sorry’ while we converse on phones or meet strangers on road for any help that we seek and feel sorry for anything that might hurt others.
We can term this quality as part of our values. We need to respect others to get respected and build long-term satisfied realtionship. It’s part of charismatic personality of any successful business leader.
“…the untapped influence of unspoken words that could have fueled others.”
So true Dan…the gift of kind words of support, encouragement or appreciation once held, at once lost, gone forever.
With regret, do we not remember so clearly those missed moments the rest of our lives? “If I had only told her/him how much I appreciated/enjoyed/loved the time s/he….”
That is past. Learn.
Now. Do.
It can be, it is, a positive spiral that comes back to you more than you can imagine. Make a ‘to-do’ list that has an expanding number of gratitudes/appreciations to be delivered– every day!
Positive words and thinking, optimism, energizing and encouraging others is an art. You have the talent of inspiring and providing ideas. Thank you Dan. Sorry my broken english. Jorge Dias
Well Dan, Your very first statement “We play a part in the progress of people around us” is true in life and work. It is especially true for leaders and for anyone in customer service.
There are cynics and skeptics who will come at you to tear your positivity down yet there is nothing more powerful than believing in your first statement.
I often say “An authentic smile changes everything” — because a positive attitude:
– Lifts others up
– Propels others to greater exploration
– Contributes a generosity of spirit that is unstoppable and quite contagious
Your post itself lifts the spirit and I will RT it on Twitter to help spread the gratitude.
Best wishes for an inspirational post Dan,
Kate
Dan,
Great post! It reminds me of an article I read a few years ago about August Busch of the Anheuser Busch family. He received a professional letter of appreciation from his father. He stated that he carried it in his brief case every day for several years and still had it with him when the article was written.
I think that I personally appreciate the positive comments more than the person appreciates what I did when I receive sincere appreciation.
Thanks,
Chris Paulsen