Powerful Tools for Reflection and Connection

All relationships are dissatisfying and fake, apart from authenticity. 

5 results of low authenticity:

  1. Feeling disconnected and misunderstood.
  2. Lack of trust.
  3. Blocked connections.
  4. Shallow relationships.
  5. Lower influence.

authenticity requires self-awareness.png

High authenticity:

You can’t be authentic if you don’t know who you are.

Authenticity requires self-awareness. Self-awareness requires reflection.

It’s likely you’re inauthentic if you don’t reflect on your journey. I read a book that elevates my practice of self-reflection, “5 Gears,” by Jeremie Kubicek and Steve Cockram.

I’d like to think I’m pretty good at reflection. I spend at least an hour a day reflecting on my leadership, this blog is the result. But, “5 Gears,” gives me language that expands self-reflection. In addition, it helped me turn self-reflection into connection.

Do you know what it’s like to be on the other side of you?

5 Gears:

1st Gear: Recharge Mode – Personal recharge, completely unplugged.

2nd Gear: Connect Mode – Present with family or friends without work.

3rd Gear: Social Mode – Present with people and can shift up or down easily.

4th Gear: Task Mode – Multitasking; working hard in various ways.

5th Gear: Focus Mode – Task-Centered, fully focused and moving quickly.


“5 Gears” provides language to reflect on your mode of being. Perhaps you’re like me, stuck in task mode, when you should be in social or connect mode.

Conflict happens when your spouse is in connect mode and you’re in task mode, for example.


I use “5 Gears” to name my mode of being. This helps me see myself through the eyes of others.

The second benefit is it helps me shift into a gear that facilitates connection.

Bonus material:

Jeremie Kubicek – The “5 Gears” (1:54):

Jeremie Kubicek – Journey toward self-awareness (3:41):

What tools or strategies enable leaders to reflect on their journey?

Book website: 5 Gears