The Peril of Meaning Well But Doing Harm
It’s tragic when you mean well but do harm.
4 ways to mean well but do harm:
#1. Allow nagging issues to persist.
You’re responsible if there’s a well-worn path around recurring problems.
Birds that bury their heads in sand get run over. What recurring issue do you need to solve?
Take a forward-facing stance, but for goodness sake, bring up negative patterns that hold people back.
#2. Improve too much.
You demoralize others when you always improve their ideas.
“Go for it,” is better than, “It would be even better if… ?”
Take every opportunity to say, “That’s a great idea. What’s next?” Speak up if you see real problems. Otherwise, add gas to their tank.
Allow people to learn as they go if time allows. Steer clear of telling people how to do things.
Align doing with being.
Connect people with what matters to them.
- What are you trying to accomplish beyond getting something done?
- What are the positive benefits to you and others?
- What’s fulfilling about this? Frustrating?
#3. Jump in to save the day.
Train them and trust them or fire yourself.
Savior-leaders love stepping in to “help”. They actually create resentment and distrust. Worse yet, they disempower people.
Good intentions backfire when you do someone’s job for them.
When you see what they don’t see:
- Point out dangers and issues they may not see. Explain the big picture. Others may not see the negative impact of their behaviors.
- Provide space for team members to reflect on their values, goals, and plans. Just don’t interject yourself into their responsibilities.
- Connect them with others who have experience. “You might talk with ….”
#4. Judge by failure while ignoring success.
It’s easy to figure out what people can’t do. But success is built on what they can do.
How have you boxed in teammates by focusing on past failures?
How might leaders unintentionally hold people back?
Lots of wisdom here, Dan. These are far too easy to find yourself doing, if you aren’t aware…great reminders!
Thanks Marcia. I appreciate your encouragement. Have a great weekend.
Dan,
This reminds me of a paper I wrote several years ago while I was in my master’s program.
I liken certain aspects of leadership to a doctor’s Hippocratic oath…”DO NO HARM”. Sadly, there are leaders in various roles that still believe that fear-based leadership works and keeps people “in-line” and “on their toes”. Leaders who are consistently supportive, communicative, and share expectations that remove all ambiguities seem to bode well in their respective roles.
Thanks Eric. Love the application of the Hippocratic Oath. It seems like the doing good might be enhanced by not doing harm. 🙂
If only I had understood this years ago… I am learning that I am a rare exception that doesn’t mind getting suggestions to take it to the next level while its still in the working stages. In fact it makes me feel like others care enough to be invested in the success. A better product makes us all look good, right? And since I always give credit out and thank people for their input, I thought I was doing an upbeat job. In some cases, I have felt the efforts fall flat, backfire would be an understatement.
Thank you for outlining this wisdom in such clear packaging.
Dan, I agree, but there is teaching when we should and there is meddling when we shouldn’t. Fine line when we offer too much or not enough! “Tip toe through the Tulips” before firing yourself!