Don’t Believe Your Momma
Don’t believe your momma. She kept telling you to be careful.
Fear is resistance to greatness.
Encourage greatness:
We have a daredevil granddaughter. The parents of this two year old thrill-seeker bought her a kiddy roller coaster. It has a little car, three steps up the ramp, and two small hills. The last time I went over, she proudly showed me how she rides her coaster backwards while holding her hands in the air.
Don’t tell Ellasyn to be careful. Encourage her to ride her coaster blindfolded while standing on her head.
When she’s old enough, get the kid a dirt bike and a loopty loop. Tell her to go for it. You can’t get anywhere in life by being careful. Even when NASA scientists are being careful, it’s so astronauts can face risk responsibly.
Play it scary:
You can’t avoid fear when you do something for the first time. And how can you make a difference without doing something new?
Don’t overcome fear. Embrace it. Listen to it.
- Figure out the next scariest step you dare to take and take it. Repeat tomorrow.
- Practice responsible boldness. Prepare before you step into the scare. 70% ready is ready enough, unless it involves life or death.
- Get around people who play it scary. Listen to them when they say, “Go for it.”
- Encourage others to do scary things. Don’t say, “Be careful.” Say, “Be bold!”
Resistance:
If you aren’t feeling resistance, you’re doing meaningless busy work. Make yourself uncomfortable if you hope to make a difference in the world.
I’ve given thousands of presentations. I’m still anxious before stepping on stage. Be afraid, but don’t let it stop you.
How might leaders help others do scary things?
How might leaders use fear for positive ends?
Great article… I think we are too cautious today. I ride mountain bikes, which my wife thinks is a little crazy. Flying through the woods brushing trees with my shoulders, occasionally coming home with bruises or scraps. But is is so much fun and keeps life interesting. You have to live a little!
Thanks Jay. Great seeing you hear today. I read your comment and started thinking ‘what’s the point.’
What’s the point if your heart doesn’t skip a beat once in a while?
Come back soon
Hi Dan,
I would just point out as a parent that we admonish our children to be careful because they should be afraid of some of the things they are doing – but they aren’t. On behalf of moms I say I am afraid of kids driving 90 in the rain, and not afraid at all of their going hammer and tongs for a Rhodes scholarship or other amazing dream they like to achieve even when it seems the work is too hard, and the aim unobtainable. Listen to your Momma. Wish you a wonderful weekend, Dan and all LF friends
Thanks Cate. Don’t be irresponsible. That makes sense.
It’s the coddling parents, managers, and leaders that hold people back with their destructive kindness that cause harm by trying to protect us from discomfort, disappointment, or pain.
So glad you dropped in.
Wow!! this is great advice. I am raising two daredevil kids and I’m always telling them to be careful (although at time is may be life and death (wink)). I think I need to use “go for it” a bit more. I like the “responsible boldness”.
Thanks Kevin. You don’t want your daredevils to run their heads into the corner of the coffee table. Don’t send them out on the loopty loop without preparation and a helmet. 🙂
If Ellasynn goes down her coaster blindfolded and standing on her head, her mom and dad better be there to catch her!
I agree; fear can be a good thing! When I graduated from college, my mom wrote, “Fly, little birdie!” She was encouraging me to leave the nest. However, no one considered the possibility that I would take her seriously! I went on to earn my private pilot certificate and plan to reach 400 hours of flying time this year! I tell people that if I am not at least a little bit nervous before flying, that’s the day I need to stay on the ground! And, yes, my mom has been one of my passengers!
Thanks for your post, Dan!
Thanks Elaine. Great story. Congratulations. Keep stepping toward the edge.
It occurred to me, as I read your comment, that today’s edge keeps moving away from us, as we act with boldness. What’s next? 🙂
Dan, your article does provoke thought. Confidence and skill are the antidotes for fear in many given situations. Learning how to manage acceptable risk is also a critical need for developing life principles. Having had the opportunity to make presentations in front of multiple sized audiences, overcoming the hesitancy to do so is far different than working at elevations on structures such as the St. Louis Arc. When your Momma tells you the stove it hot, believe her.
Thanks Russell. Nicely said.
Perhaps confidence is the ‘answer’ for fear. But if you found an antidote for fear, you need to find something new that makes your heart skip a beat. If not, you’re wasting your talent and potential. Push yourself into discomfort or end up stagnant.
You would hope that thinking people wouldn’t take the title of this post as a moral absolute. Don’t put your tongue on frozen metal as an expression of taking responsible risk. 🙂
Thanks again for jumping in.
Great article. A mantra that I use is life begins outside of your comfort zone. It’s difficult to get comfortable feeling uncomfortable, but it’s worth it! Yes, the preparation and practice comes with a lot of effort, but don’t most things? Many times I have to remind myself and others, if it were easy everyone would be doing it.
In building that cadence of pushing yourself and the commitment to do the work to get there, you are able to get through most of the fear.
Thanks Dan!
Now that’s a beautiful line…. If it were easy everyone would be doing it.
I have been watching the NatGeo series “Genius,” which is covering the life of Albert Einstein. If Einstein had feared the backlash he would receive for his controversial theories of his time, we would never had his Theory of General Relativity or E = MC2. He was ridiculed for his theories by academic heavy weights because his theories were so contrary to the so called intellectual thought of his day.
Today, we have individuals like Elon Musk. Regardless of what you think of the person, he is undertaking feats that no one would have thought possible even ten years ago. Tesla is merely a research platform for creating very efficient batteries. Being able to land a X-Space booster rocket on a barge in the ocean upright is no small undertaking. In fact, this has been described as throwing a pencil over the Empire State building and landing it upright on its eraser.
Learn how to embrace risk, THINK BIG and you just might create a major breakthrough. Both of these acts are very uncomfortable. Get used to it and you’ll love it. I did it as much as I could throughout my career sometimes to the consternation of my boss.
I really needed that,thank you 😊
“We have nothing to fear but fear itself”, so live fearless but be fearful of your actions, there can be critical mistakes.
The healthiest opposing force to fear is love. Love the cause if it’s worthy of love (not all are, despite what their manipuleaders say). Don’t stand against the bully because you hate her, but because you love what’s behind you. Not everything deserves your courage. Don’t waste it on selfish pride.