7 Ways to Receive Feedback You Don’t Like

Short-sighted people plug their ears when they hear feedback they don’t like. These people receive praise and reject messages that suggest they aren’t perfect.

Feedback you don’t like is likely the most useful.

Effective giving

Take responsibility for the way you give feedback. Perhaps you’re judgmental, for example.

Say what you see. Don’t judge it.

I asked a leader to attend one of my presentations for the sole purpose of giving me feedback on my presentation skills. During coffee he said, “When you think, you look down. I lose contact with you.”

  1. He said what he saw. “You look down.”
  2. He didn’t judge. He could have said, “You shouldn’t look down so much.”
  3. He explained the impact. “I lose contact with you.” What am I going to say to that, “No you don’t!”

Resistance persists

What about the person who persistently resists feedback? You give feedback and …

  1. They tell a long story.
  2. They cry.
  3. They shut down.
  4. They change the subject.
  5. They blame others.
  6. They discount the value. “It just doesn’t matter.”
  7. They don’t believe it.

Effective receiving: 7 ways to receive feedback you don’t like

When people don’t receive feedback well, stop giving feedback. Teach them how to receive feedback.

  1. Feedback is a gift when it comes from someone who is committed to your success.
  2. Don’t wait to receive feedback. Seek it.
  3. The feedback you don’t like is likely the most useful.
  4. Say, “Thank you,” whenever you receive any form of feedback. The giver is trying to be helpful. Honor them.
  5. Assume it’s valid, even if it feels wrong.
  6. Ask, “Why do you think this feedback is useful or important?”
  7. Ask, “What suggestions do you have for me?” Even if you don’t want suggestions, ask for them.

How might people receive feedback they don’t like?