Why The Key to Leadership is Listening—and How to Do It Better
NEW BOOK GIVEAWAY!
20 copies available!
Leave a comment on this guest post by John Eades to become eligible for one of 20 complimentary copies of his book, Building the Best: 8 Proven Leadership Principles to Elevate Other to Success.
(Deadline for eligibility is 11/9/2019. International winners will receive electronic versions.)
Andy Stanley said, “Leaders who refuse to listen will eventually be surrounded by people with nothing helpful to say.”
If listening is so important, why are so many of us bad at it? The answer is simple: we don’t understand the difference between hearing and listening.
The Difference Between Hearing and Listening
A mentor of mine told me that hearing is through the ears, but listening is through the mind.
Hearing is an ability, listening is a skill.
You have to make the choice to listen to the ideas and perspectives of others instead of just hearing them. When you do this, you have found the key to leadership.
How well you listen determines how well you connect, and connection is key to leadership.
If you struggle to listen, here are a few tips to help you develop the skill.
You can’t listen until you are anchored into a conversation.
Put away your phone or any distractions. If for some reason that isn’t possible because of other priorities, be honest and remind yourself you need to come back to this when you are able to anchor yourself.
Consider What Others Are Saying
There is too much going on in today’s business environment for a leader to know it all.
Ensure that, when others are providing ideas, you are truly considering what they are saying and not just thinking about how you are going to respond.
Prove You Listened
While the implementation of every idea isn’t possible, testing the idea or discussing it in more detail, rather than disregarding it, is a great sign you listened.
What strategies prove you listened?
If I asked your spouse, “Is he/she a great listener?”—what would they say?
Tell us about a leader who is a great listener. What do they specifically do to show you?
John Eades is the CEO of LearnLoft, a leadership development company that exists to turn managers into leaders. He was named a 2017 LinkedIn Top Voice in Management & Workplace. He is also the author of the upcoming book, Building the Best: 8 Proven Leadership Principles to Elevate Other to Success, and host of the Follow My Lead Podcast. As a motivational speaker, he connects to the hearts and minds of leaders from all industries and experiences.
Listening is becoming one of the key leadership skills we teach and will practice with new supervisors.
Big difference between hearing and listening! Good stuff.
I listen to John Eade’s podcast, and the speakers are wonderful! As a new director to a small community based mental health agency, I”m finding leading and coaching is more challenging than therapy! I’d love to learn more from this amazing mentor!
Excellent post! I would go one step further. Listening is with the mind and the heart! There is both a willingness to consider (mind) and a readiness to feel or sense why this is important to the other. In all cases listening and considering is not agreeing; listening is honoring and weighing on the way to a decision!
My thought is that soft skills delineate the difference between a manager and a leader. Listening to understand is truly important.
As a veteran school administrator, I discovered that the primary need parents have is to be acknowledged. We do that by listening. Listening is acknowledgement. Parents often express their gratitude by saying “Thanks for listening.” I know the concept is hard in education and in business because we leaders know it all and do not have time to give to the very input and feedback that is the most impactful to our own success.
Loving the Quote: “Leaders who refuse to listen will eventually be surrounded by people with nothing helpful to say.” This is so powerful and shows that if you stop listening, they will stop talking.
Need to reflect on listening versus hearing! Anchoring into the conversation is something all of us need work in given the distractions of our phones.
Listening is key to showing someone we care about them. Please sign me up for the drawing!
When I hear someone say, “Say that again? In a different way?” I know they are intrigued and have engaged in listening, then it’s up to me to cement the connection.
When I say it, I mean it, and will make sure it becomes a dialogue from which I will learn from.
If we listen, we also need to perform! Be willing to transform what we hear into action.
I really enjoy the quote- impactful! This is a key focus at our company.
Good post! Sometimes just listening to someone as they verbally work through a problem is all they need for them to find a solution. Asking questions more than giving suggestions can help others build their troubleshooting skills. Focus on who you are talking to instead of making everything about you.
Though the ideas are simple, they are easy to forget in our busy world. Thank you for the reminder.
Great post! I definitely needed this!!
I can’t count the number of times I’ve been told “You’re hearing me, but your not listening”. This is great advice and a great post!
I am a teacher studying leadership and can’t wait to read this book! Everyone has something to say and deserve not just to be heard, but to have their ideas listened to.
Thanks, that means a lot
Having been in HR for over 30 years, I can certainly attest to the fact that one of the key reasons there are interpersonal conflicts in organizations is the inability to listen to another’s point of view. Good leaders truly listen to whomever they are speaking with, and tune out the surrounding noise. Can’t wait to read this book!
Would love to have a copy, I’ll keep my eye out even if i’m not one of the 20!
Listening is a valued skill. Thanks for the topics you share.
“You can’t listen until you are anchored into a conversation” – this is so incredibly true and important. I found myself always distracted and only hearing. I had to completely rework my office so that when someone is here to chat and share I have to physically turn away from my desk and computer. It makes all the difference in a world where it feels like I need to be connected and available 24/7. However those 10 minutes of actually listening, not just hearing and nodding while scanning emails has made me a better leader.
I appreciate this important reminder. As younger employees have joined our team, I’m paying more attention to listening.
What a great post and distinction between hearing and listening. I’ll use this immediately with my clients.
“Hearing is an ability, listening is a skill,” is such a great quote. Simple, but so powerful.
“If i asked your spouse, is he/she a good listener?” Yikes, I don’t think I would like the answer. I like to think I’m a good listener at work, but this comment made me second guess that. I doubt I can be good at this in one area of my life and poor in another!
Wise advice that we all need to be reminded of. Great guest post.
I agree with listening as a skill. I tell those I mentor, learn to listen.
Active listening is so important in all fields today! I completely agree that this is one of the most if not the most important leadership skills!
It seems “connection” relates greatly to the gain of trust. And if you gain trust in your leadership, you’ve gained a following. And if you have a following, there’s no telling where your team can go, or what it can achieve. And this from truly “listening”.
“How well you listen determines how well you connect, and connection is key to leadership.”
Great post with action items to develop and then perfect the skill of listening. And, not only to our coworkers but this extends to family and friends and all those to which we interact.
Defining Hearing versus Listening was a home-run! So many (including myself) should read that line again and again until it sinks in!
Great article! Very important topic, not only for leaders! People who know how to listen achieve great results with their teams and manage to live a better live outside work, with family and friends! Listening is a very important skill, that should be taught in school since a very early age, so it becomes a mindset and a way of learning, achieving great results and show respect to others.
I believe that communication is one of the biggest parts to being a successful leader and listening is a big part of communication.
I know listening is powerful but is it more potent than speaking or is it simply more foundational to communication process? I speak more powerfully when I hear well…
Our greatest leadership legacy is how we build and support those around us to be successful, and that process starts with listening.
Great post! Learning the skill of listening has changed my life at work and home.
As an aspiring young leader I have a long way to go. But I have been fortunate to spend valuable time with more experienced and seasoned leaders. One thing I am continuously practicing is asking a question and then LISTENING. I’ve noticed that body language contributes not only to the listener but also to the team member answering. Pause what you are doing, face in their direction, hold eye contact and present feedback. This shows that you are engaged and care about what your team member is saying. Listening builds trust and cooperation that will develop unbelievable potential.
An interesting post kept me thinking about the bosses that I came across in my professional career!
Listening is an art and is quite helpful if the bosses give adequate time to hear subordinates with the needed patience. Add to it, there should be some appreciation for new creative thoughts in the organization interest. I have seen how bosses win the confidence of subordinates simply by following this technique by way of a developed habit. It’s a win-win situation for both the sides benefiting an organization that they are part of.
Contrary to this, bosses with an egoist attitude create a fearful atmosphere around and subordinates are not given adequate time and/or encouraged to share new ideas or be part of the solution team. Good employees leave the organization mainly because of overall negligence and authoritarian work culture.
The bosses need to even look at subordinates’ communication vide e-mails and appreciate their initiative in sharing strategic views for the betterment of an organization.
Listening is for everyone as well as leaders. We can each do a better job in our lives if we listen better. I agree with the person who said listening with your mind and heart are key to improved understanding. Taking time to really listen is priceless in this fast paced world we live in.
Your honesty is commendable, but you can get better. Our kids didn’t come out of the womb knowing how to read!
I must admit, I’m a terrible listener. This is something I have always wanted to improve on, as I know it will be the cause of stress for me as a leader. It’s something I always catch my self doing poorly, even when I am trying hard. Just to keep practicing I guess!
Great post Dan. I needed this reminder that listening is a skill that can be developed and not just an action.
I am a terrible natural listener. I work remotely now and it’s really difficult at times to tune into meetings. I’ve had to enable screen time limits during business hours to be more mindful of the times I get distracted by my phone during meetings. My spouse is the best listener I know. He observes body language, tone and always lets you know he has observed these things by prefacing his thoughts with something to disarm or engage the other person relative to what he’s observed in their tone or body language.
I love Johns podcast, Follow My Lead. He has opened my eye to a different type of leadership during a time in my career when all the examples I’d had up to that point were lacking.
In the last couple of years I see the anchoring piece as a growing issue. Three years ago I was in a meeting of leaders and there were a handful of people in the room with lap tops. At the kick off of the meeting the facilitator asked them to put them away. Fast forward to today, most people in the room have them or their phones out and no one says a word. I find myself falling right in line with this. It is hard to listen when you are only partially there.
Our company has adopted huddles or stand up meetings during this same time frame. These seem to help cut out some of the distraction to listening
Active Listening is a skill we all should learn how to do better. So often we are preparing what we will say in response we don’t listen to what the person has to say. Then we’re in such a hurry to tell them our point of view we interrupt them before they finish. Always good to be reminded of how critical this skill is for leaders.
Quoting: “ Hearing is an ability, listening is a skill.” I have always believed (shared when appropriate) that there was a difference between hearing and listening; this way of expressing that difference is short but so revealing. Being a skill, listening effectively takes development – as well as self-assessment, Consideration, and refinement. To listen effectively, I believe you should be able to summarize what was said, offer appropriate comments, and have a follow-up question (for clarity and/or to advance or broaden the conversation). That’s my approach at least!
Just got done doing some street pastoral ministry and learning how important it is to be present and listening to those who simply need to speak and be heard.
Sign me up!
Thanks for the reminder that good communication does not mean more emails.
Put the phone down and close the laptop.
Wow “Hearing is an ability, listening is a skill.” this is a great Quote I need to work on my skills to listen or i will be surrounded by people not talking.
I’ve also heard it said that hearing is through the ears and listening is from the heart. Great post! Wishing more people really listened…
Hearing vs. listening is so true. Too many times we listen to respond rather than listen to really understand. I had a great boss tell me that you have to just be quiet and listen even when there are moments of awkward silence. It allows others to fully open up. He was a really good listener. Great article.
I enjoyed this! I also love the quote, “Hearing is an ability, listening is a sill.” So true. I currently work under someone who in a meeting said, “Correct me if I am wrong.” He was. I did. It did not go well. “Don’t tell me I am wrong. Just do what I am telling you to do!”
Listening is one of the hardest skills to master. Even with intentional desire, I still find myself forming a response instead of just focusing on what is being said. Thanks for the reminders and tips!
There is definitely a difference between hearing and listening. People love to talk to me because I am a “good listener” and some how they can tell that before they ever talk to me. My wife likes to say I have a sign around my neck stating “talk to me.” Too often we as humans are planning our reply/rebuttal before the other person in the conversation has even finished their comments. We can not listen when we are planning to speak. And we all can tell when someone else is doing that to us.
Your principle, Prove you Listened, especially resonated with me. My colleagues and I have been exploring the role our actions play in helping others to feel truly understood; helping them to feel listened to, especially when working in teams. Yes, restating, probing, reflecting all make a difference. Yet, sometimes even active listening can seem disingenuous if we don’t look for ways to follow up with action. What we’ve termed, action listening includes experimenting with others ideas and suggestions; following up later, not just in the moment, seeking opportunities to say yes and…. I’d enjoy hearing from others? What kinds of actions help you feel as though someone has truly listened?
the art of listening has always been the key. figuring it out for the current situation is genius.
I serve as an adult recruiter and trainer and i have learned how to close the deal quickly and successfully by focusing only on what my prospect is saying and matching his/her needs with a solution i have. It helps us to both have our needs met and starts the relationship off on good solid ground. thanks for this post. Well Said!
Great relationships = Great results, Building positive relationships is an important part of leadership, and listening is a critical part of building great relationships.
Listening is a skill we have forgotten as a society. This is a place we can all learn from.
Agree so much. When I know that someone is really listening to understand what I am saying it helps with the conversation. I try to listen to understand and not listen to respond. Letting others express their thoughts and ideas and providing support helps them gain confidence and want to keep bringing the ideas forward.
Thank you for this excellent reminder!
Getting your book to publication and distribution is a great accomplishment. Our work today requires the influence that comes from understanding leadership and motivating teammates and clients. All the best to you. I hope to read Building the BEST this very month. Paul McGillivray
I’d love to hear new ideas on how to listen more effectively.
“Leaders who refuse to listen will eventually be surrounded by people with nothing helpful to say.”
I can never understand why leaders choose to surround themselves with yes-men. That emperor will eventually new clothes. He will have no one but himself to blame for his embarrassment.
Those of us who truly want the best for our organization know that this comes through diverse thoughts, ideas and backgrounds.
I wish I could tell you about a leader I have worked with who was a good listener. Too often, I feel they are just waiting for someone to stop talking so they can talk….not listening!!
More great content on listening!
“If I asked your spouse, “Is he/she a great listener?”—what would they say?”
It took me a long time and many arguments with my husband about what he did and did not tell me while we were on the phone. I finally came to realized that while I was hearing him, my mind was not listening but rather focused on the email I was typing.
Listening is a skill, and like others, practice, practice, practice.
I have learned first hand how detrimental hearing is as opposed to listening, and my team/customers have suffered as a result. Replace distracting items like phones, pens, and a busy environment to angling your body towards theirs (bellybutton pointed towards what you are focusing on, because body language!) and make sincere eye contact. Repeating what you heard (paraphrasing) also clues the speaking into knowing you are paying attention and are invested in what they are trying to portray.
Listening is a foundational leadership skill. Listening is an a learnable skill .Unfortunately, it is rarely if ever taught. Here is one good technique I learned to teach /coach people to start to become better active listeners. Write LISTEN on a poster /whiteboard then scramble the letters so That LISTEN=SILENT.Silent means as a listener everything,brain and emotions,your answers or opinions become silent and we are present to the speaker. A great gift of respect by learning that LISTEN=SILENT.
I teach a college course on Business Communications. We spend 20% of our time focused on what students can do to improve their listening skills. I produced a YouTube video on Effective Listening to help them remember some of the important points.
Thanks for the great tips! I really appreciate the distinction between “hearing” and listening”. As a supervisor this will help me to become more anchored into conversations. Thanks!
Love the idea of anchoring! I have a reminder above my desk to ‘Get Curious’ which helps me be a more active listener who asks thoughtful questions rather than planning my responses.
Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen. Winston Churchill
The reality of speaking “with” people rather speaking “at” people hinges on one’s ability to listen. Not to “hear” them, but listen with understanding and be willing to allow your decisions to be molded either slightly or abruptly by the information you are receiving. Not one of us as leaders have arrived at the pinnacle of all truth.
Take time to listen, it is the source of knowledge.
For me the largest challenge isn’t listening, but filtering the information that’s heard. Often, cross-department struggles end up as whining and complaining which deflate everyone’s energy, but more importantly mine as I’m the one responsible for inspiration and motivation to the teams. How do you filter the whining, complaining, and negativity while taking in the important information in those moments?
Some of the strategies we use are to repeat back the point in a different way. But to ensure that you’re actively listening, to make note of the last word in the person’s sentences. This keeps you engaged and doesn’t give you opportunity to think of your response before they’re finished talking.
Excellent article. Too many “title heavy” executive believe subordinates have nothing to say. They are wrong.
I think this is such an important topic in regards to leadership. It should be included as one of the foundations in which to build a good leader. If you cannot listen and figure out what the issues are or what is really going on around you, you will be a very ineffective leader. It is a challenge for many. Me included. Good topics and reminders. Thanks for sharing.
even the statement that we have one mouth and two ears isn’t enough, listening for more than the words but truly striving to understand another individual is a great gift and essential to empowering those we work with and truly being ion the same team.
Thanks for the article.
We, not only as leaders, but people, can always benefit from learning how to pay more attention to those around us, stop the endless stream of to do’s, distractions, and really listen-take in what people around you are sharing with you, it’s imperative for team building. I would be very interested in sharing this book with our leadership team. : )
Very little gets done in the way of training toward good listening…. any good training ideas out there?
Teaching people to be a CURIOUS listener is a way to help frame your listening lens so you are really allowing yourself to be open. I want this book!
This is the type of post I come here to read! Thanks for all your contributions!
Always up for reading about leadership!
The lesson that listening and hearing are different is a great lesson to learn! Most people are only hearing and waiting for a point to talk or to respond they are not actually listening to the conversation. A great way, that I learned from a great teacher, was when listening to a person, giving the response “so what I heard was…” that way you can show you were listening and if there was any confusion about what was said you can now clarify it.
I love the concept of proving you listening by testing an idea or exploring the details through discussion. People are deflated along with their creativity and confidence when ideas are quickly disregarded. Small ideas can lead to the big solution if we just take time to listen. I also appreciate any ideas on training for active and leadership listening.
“Prove you listened” What a great nugget to take away. People can certainly get good at acting the part, but you must prove you listened. This not only closes the loop of communication but also shows them that you are a genuine leader. Thank you for the post today!
Anchoring is very important. Sometimes difficult when you get distracted by a point that you have not come to conclusion with. Have to let go of that point of conversation and make sure you are in the moment. It is crucial to always be an active listener. Good article!
I had a great leader once that always made sure to ask pertinent questions and/or clarifications during a discussion. Always made the team feel heard
I am in constant pursuit of being a better listener. We are a very tech-heavy work environment, but sometimes, I just wish we could put away all the screens to have a stronger dialogue. Perhaps, I could model just with me? An experiment, perhaps?
Anchor yourself…crucial to not just listening but building and fostering relationships. I get annoyed when others are looking at their phone or smart watch, yet I catch myself doing work when others are talking. I have given my direct reports the go ahead to call me out for it. Good stuff here!
Listening is a key component for any effective communication. It is not about telling people what they want to hear or thinking you already know what they want, but to truly listen and be a part of the conversation. Listening builds trusts in teams, listening builds trust with families, and listening bridges gaps with students. Great article
Keen to explore how to control the expectation and learnt behaviour to react/respond rather than keep listening…!
Listening feeds emotional intelligence, I find. The more I listen, the more I gain in developing meaningful relationship, inspiring motivation and sense of purpose.
Strong leadership skills start with excellent listening skills, genuine care of your people, motivating and enabling them; then staying back and allowing them to strive for growth and excellence.
Listening is sadly becoming a lost art. Too many “leaders” are busy trying to make everyone happy instead of listening and making the best decision.
Listen to connect, and connect to build trust. Great leaders connect and build trust in their people. Great post!
Thanks for this! I had a boss a long time ago who was a great listener. I can still see his face and body language which was evidence of his total immersion in the conversation. He’d always pick up on one or two ideas and ask for more clarity. He seldom gave his opinion, which I valued. (We heard it later, of course.) I think he had an uncommon gift to be present.
Looking forward to reading this book. One of my biggest listening lessons came from my husband. He told me I listen to respond and he was right. I’m still a work in progress but I recognize that in leadership that is not helpful to my team.
I often listen to respond. This is a really hard habit to break but worth the effort. Repeating or summarizing what someone is saying before responding helps me pause. Asking questions helps the other person clarify their thinking too which may help my eventual response. It’s not always my job to solve every problem. Listening more and talking less can let those solutions emerge and empower others. It’s a daily struggle.
As we create clean clear space in listening to others, we connect more with them and feel we are building bridges. Through empathy, we build understanding, they feel heard, understood, connected, engaged, valued and participatory. The worrying aspects are not the questions we ask as we listen, but for the answers that cannot be questioned..
I need to practice being a better listener.
Listening and active listening, or what we were taught as “soft skills” will soon become required courses in public schools because of the absence of the skill.
Such an important skill and one that many fair to learn, we don’t even teach it at school, yet it has a profound effect on relationship building both in the workplace and in our personal lives. Go team Listening
Thanks for the tips and the podcast tip, Follow my lead. 🙂
Please enter me in the book drawing.
Hearing happens – it’s just noise… listening is a choice – intentional and purposeful. Listening shows you care while hearing indicates you don’t really matter. Listening builds relationships while hearing disrupts connectivity.
Leaders who are empowered by their power and ego practice hearing.
Leaders who are empowered by their people’s success practice listening.
Love the article!! Brief and to the point!!
I often find our evaluation of our listening skills is a little bit like our evaluation of our driving – we’re typically not as good as we think.
Practise listening with our eyes – is what we’re seeing congruent with what we’re hearing ? And are we interpreting what we are hearing accurately ?
George Bernard Shaw once quoted “the biggest problem with communication is the ILLUSION that it has taken place “ – I reflect on that often.
Listening seems to be a lost art. As a result, those who do listen can often feel overwhelmed at first by how much and how quickly people share with them. Being able to internally manage oneself through that feeling is the key to determining how well a person continues to listen.
Validating and empathy are also great skills to have as an active listener. I like to ask open ended questions to help others become more skilled problem solvers.
This sounds like something everyone should read.
If you aren’t growing others, then you probably probably aren’t growing yourself either.
“If I asked you spouse,”… talk about accountability, haha.
Olá! Vim através do Twitter a convite de John Eades . Gostaria de receber uma cópia do livro!
This is such a great reminder! My listening skills are far better at work than home. My husband is the best listener I know because he is always in the present moment (anchored) when speaking with me or other people. It is a quality the people around him respect.
“hearing is through the ears, but listening is through the mind”
such an eye-opener. i love it
This is certainly an important topic. One thing I have learned in my own efforts to listen more effectively is to recognize the speaker’s motivation. If my spouse is sharing about a frustration she is having at work I need to know if she wants my advice or my empathy.
Listening and staying anchored is even more challenging with virtual teams, it’s so easy to get distracted by a chat or email notification. I work very hard to turn off the distractions and be honest if something takes my attention and say “let me answer this” and then come back to the discussion at hand. I value those leaders who demonstrated they listened to me and one of the leadership behaviors I would want my team to say that I demonstrate as well…. perhaps a good question to ask the team!
“Ensure that, when others are providing ideas, you are truly considering what they are saying and not just thinking about how you are going to respond.“ this seems obvious but takes practice to become good.
Love this! Listening is the key to positive leadership and development.
Correct… and listening requires the one with ears to have a great amount of emotional intelligence whereby they have nothing to prove but every reason to serve.
Thank you for the great post, John. I interpret your initial step of “anchor yourself” as “being present.” We are often so distracted or self-absorbed that we sometimes don’t really hear — much less listen to — what’s being said. One executive I deeply respect mentioned that he actively engages in the details only two or three major initiatives. All the others he delegates to competent and trusted staff. So before being present, he prioritizes how and where to invest his time. It seems that prioritizing and focusing would be wise moves to generate the time to actually anchor, be present, and listen. All the best.
Hearing is easy. We hear a lot that we never process. Really listening is extremely difficult. That’s been a chief struggle through my entire career in management. Set aside your own agenda and listen to learn what’s really going on.
A weak spot for me, but something that I work on daily.
This is a skill I have been working on for ages. it makes such a difference in the trust level and my relationships with my team when I am able to truly listen. I would love to have a copy of this book.
The “nothing to say” can come in the form of an agreement just to please the leader.
How incredibly timely! I had a break in class and just pulled up this article. It is EXACTLY the discussion I was having with teenagers in a second period JROTC class. They were complaining that their battalion commander did not listen, and we were brainstorming ways to change the conversation and the culture surrounding leadership. I was amazed that they could so clearly distinguish between characteristics of a “leader” and a “boss”. I will give this article to them tomorrow. Woo hoo!
This is definitely an area I have actively been working on! My mind seems to always be somewhere else and I am only partially listening…just enough to be able to respond. I 100% agree that it helps to set aside the distractions! I have a laptop and when I take it to meetings it is so easy to get distracted and work on something else! I am also getting so much better at repeating what is being said to me to ensure I understood them. I have come a long way, however I still have so much to learn. Would love to have a copy of this book for my library!
Listening makes all the difference in leadership success. Great insight here to make a difference!
Exactly my brother.
Listening will make a good leadership.
Remember to listen and show appreciation when coworkers share information. You want people to share and thanking them graciously even when the news is not news to you is the best way to encourage that sharing.
Quite an interesting read. Clarity in terms of difference between listening and hearing is great.. look forward to reading the book!! This will help me/myself understand better..
One of my leaders does exactly what you described, he will give me his full attention and ask questions throughout the conversation or idea to show that he is actively listening, and then will discuss the idea with me. I’ve been working on mirroring how he does it and purposely focusing on the conversation and avoiding distractions.
Posting this blog link next week with a tweet about how leaders need to stop talking at prole and instead start listening in order to join a conversation. Thanks for opportunity for a leadership book.
I subscribe to the school of thought that everyone should listen with the intent to understand versus to respond. If we are truly listening it opens up a world of possibilities. I really like the above concept of “anchor yourself”. Until you put the distractions away you aren’t fully committed to the conversation.
I have always found when I have a leader that pushes away the distractions (perhaps physically moves away from their computer) it creates a feeling that what I have to say is worth their time.
Two ears, one mouth. I am looking forward to reading the new book.
The true test of being a good listener is not in your view, but found in the “ear of the beholder”… leaving your audience feeling “they have been heard” after having a conversation with you.
I tend to be a very empathetic person. However, I would like to be a better listener. Sometimes the key to helping people is just that.. listening. Hope I’m one of the lucky 20!
Anchor yourself…I love that idea to stay focused in a conversation and listen!
“If I asked your spouse, is he/she a good listener?” I dare say the “test” for true listening ability is through the daily practice of conversation with my spouse. It seems to me the test of truly listening is most greatly challenged with someone you are already so familiar with – that you take listening too much for granted. In the very least, there is a great deal of practice to be had at home. I am inclined to even ask for a scorecard in thoughtful conversations…from 1 -10! I’ll have extra motivation to listen well!
Hi I’m very much agreed with this as listening skills need much to be developed not only by leaders but also by common persons. In today’s Hi-Tech era we listen to everything very profoundly which comes through gadgets but lack our interest in listening to people directly. So many times we just hear them and not listen them and that really lead us to weak bonding with our surroundings. Hence affects our growth as people have perception that it’s useless to tell anything if we don’t listen. So better listen from your heart and mind don’t Know when you slip off an important opportunity.
Such an important skill.
Actually listening to hear someone-a skill I continue to improve.
Seems like great principles. I would love to read this in depth.
Thank you so much for the opportunity…!
Listening takes time and is a connection to your prior knowledge. Listening begins when the ego is not part of the process.
Nice write up
I wan have the Copy
This email got caught in my organization’s quarantine/spam filter and I just “found” it today. A timely message for me because although I absolutely believe that listening with the heart and mind is critical, I have a knowing and doing gap. This serves as is a reminder to me of the importance of listening rather than hearing. Thanks.
Great quote “Leaders who refuse to listen will eventually be surrounded by people with nothing helpful to say.””
Thanks Glenn! Stanley is a smart guy.
Two thoughts on listening
1. Listening is about being present Listening via the heart (Nicki Keohohou Direct Selling World Alliance)
2.Listen = Silent Be there Focus Quiet your Mind
Great thoughts, John. We often believe that our response to someone talking to us should be spontaneous. We don’t believe in the power of silence. Since we are uncomfortable with silence, we start processing our response even while the other person is speaking. This, unfortunately, reduces the effectiveness of the listening.
I love your resources and boots-to-the-ground wisdom. Thanks for the high quality content.
Thanks Chris. Have a great week.
Leader who are good listener and understand the concern of their team are most effective and efficient.
The information shared by you is soo insightful and appreciable. I just loved it.